Marriage

rita streich was married to dieter berger and they had a son

Because he is a narcissist. The most attractive men are the ones who display the "dark triad" of personality traits (google it, basic rundown is narcissism/self-absorbed, sociopathy/uncaring, and machiavellianism/the end justifies the means).

Incidentally, attractive men are both attractive and men, attractiveness making it easier to stir sexual interest from women and manhood, well... We like getting laid.

Narcissism as part of that means he's a very big fan of himself, and wants life to bear testament to how awesome he feels he is. Life in the States says "More is Better;" over time he may (subconsciously) perceive those behaviors as having "conquered" you, what you do for him as "normal operations," and may forget how good he has it.

Core principle, regardless of his or your personality: Happiness is not being constantly on cloud 9, it's a series of spikes that stick out above the baseline level.

AKA: Don't spoil him.

Now, before anyone goes on a "men are evil" rant, women are the same way. Early in any relationship, I pretend I don't know how to cook or do laundry, despite being a great cook (imo) and folding like I did at boot camp. If she knows I cook she'll want me to as a sweet gesture, and down the road if I don't do it she'll think something's wrong--Because it's "what I've always done."

Long tangent short, people take things for granted.

To fix it, you need to break the cycle, make him want you more than her, bust his bubble a little, and be strong and confident--Don't cling, and don't try to "check his status" with each step you take, as your motives should be a little mysterious. Weird as it sounds, getting involved in organizational activities (especially things you're good at, you can grab some status in there and "be a leader") could be a big help, as it'll make you "bigger game." Not saying become a "soccer mom," (not that anything's wrong with that) but pull some sway to 1) make him respect you more and 2) remind him without saying that people know you're married and the community will think he's a joke, a loser, and a liar for making a large commitment and then breaking his vows to run around with some other woman.

If he starts getting mad that you're not staying in the kitchen, don't worry, it means the plan's working and he's trying to get you back to being "conquered." He's not a "bad guy" for this, he's just used to a cycle and people resist change by nature.

IF HE BECOMES ABUSIVE, LEAVE.

I say again.

IF HE BECOMES ABUSIVE. LEAVE HIM.

Don't stick around and try to "change him," you will fail. Over time your view will distort and you'll just let it happen until one of you snap and something bad happens.

This is the last resort of the weak-minded, and means his love for himself and his own ways is far greater than any feelings or regard he has for you, his wife. Prep your phone for fast access to 911 if he starts to threaten your life, health, or safety, even if he makes it seem like he's joking about it. If he's making you feel uncomfortable, you're not wrong for feeling that way.

That was a sidenote, shouldn't get to that point, but it's worth stating since you never know who's who and fear of embarrassment can drive people insane.

Regardless, that's the big picture of why narcissistic guys usually cheat when they're treated like kings, it's a common problem with common factors playing in. I've been that guy before, but I grew up a little, lol.

If that didn't help, read below for a hug and a feel-good talk that puts it totally out of your hands.

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I don't think this is a question that can be answered by anyone else but him. I know that everyone has been hurt before, you just can't let it get you down to the point that you don't attract anyone else. "What goes around comes around." Always remember that. I am sure that if you did everythng possible to keep him and he still "stepped out" on you then there was nothing you could have done, so have peace in knowing that. "Everything happens for a reason." Keep that in mind as you harbour all the feelings that he has placed upon you. Pick up a bible and read some. Life is simple you sound young and resilient. Don't let him see you down and out. This is a time of opportunity for you, not a time of self pitty. I am not being hard on you at all, just trying to get you to think right. Don't dwell on rejection, that will get you no where. Keep your head up and don't give in. I am sure you would rather have this happen now instead of later. Good luck!

Tom Lister from Emmerdale is married to his childhood friend Jenny. She is a primary school teacher. They have a son Benjamin Thomas Brown.

i think when i look at another woman it may not even be qualities she might posess but maybe a little recognition on her part . sort of to reconfirm that i could still attract someone else . and if she is pretty so much the better.

Go and get tested for any std's or aids ..... then take him for everything hes got to help with the kids then kick him to the curb oh ya and let the media in on it he will squirm a little but you will feel better and move on with your life ....

hell yes

He/she can be charged with Bigamy which is a felony. That is a lot of trouble. (and three mothers-in-law)

There can be many resons for the passion slipping away. Try going places together, just to get away. You need to invest in your relationship to make it work. Try sending a note in his lunch, fix his special meal for dinner, wear something that you know he likes. Hopefully, if you can show HIM that there is still a spark, maybe he can reciprocate; if not you may need to go to a marriage counselor. Either way, don't throw it all away. Try to remember the magic BEFORE you were married, and see if you can recapture it. You may need to work at it at first, but there ARE things that can be done to improve your relationship. It's just that we sometimes need to work at it and maybe even get some help. Of course not! Passion is way overrated, but it's not the same as love. Passion is that feeling where you really can't go one second without seeing him, and anything can happen...you know...but passion fades out eventually, it always does, you cannot keep it going, and you're left with true love, and trust, and understanding, and knowledge, and wisdom...I could go on forver...

== == It sounds as if your partner hasn't grown up. A separation agreement is usually so the two individuals in the relationship can have "head space" to do some thinking and if they really love each other then they should both try to see where things went wrong. Either you did something terrible (such as cheating and I'm not accusing you) which is hard to forgive or your partner hasn't grown from the separation and it's time you let the person know there are no more choices left. Communicate! I am currently in this same situation with my fiance of over a year and a half who decided that we need to go on a break. We both are still madly in love with each other but we know that we messed up the relationship. Honestly if the person that you are on break with still has not matured about the situation then maybe you need to go and find someone that won't string you along like a little doll you know.

Some will--but getting involved with a married person is incredibly stupid. In all probability, it won't end well. Married people still check out and find themselves attracted to other people besides their spouses. There is nothing wrong with that, as long as they don't act out of that attraction. If the married person is actively flirting or encouraging the advances of a particular person, it's a behavior that probably will lead them into having an emotional and/or sexual affair with that person. It's a trainwreck waiting to happen.

I know this is heart-breaking for you, but there are some cultures where families (even though their children are westernized) choose a girl for them. The East Indian culture and Asian cultures can be like this. Either that or he has gotten some young girl pregnant and he's having to "pay the piper." It's time to move on and learn a lesson from this experience (we all have lessons to learn) and love is not always fair. Wow. That's a hard one. There could be more to it. There could be money that his family will inherit with the marraige, and they might really need it. Things like this, nobody can change. He obviously knew this was going to happen, and why he got involved with you I don't know. Hopefully they will change their minds, if not, you will always have him in your heart and maybe later things will change and you will be able to be together.

Let him? As in ALLOW him? He's not a minor child; he's your husband. You are not in a position to deny or give permission to him. He's an adult who may behave how he wishes, however well or poorly that may be. Having said that, he should not have female friends, at least none that he visits or socializes with alone. It's simply inappropriate, given his history.

it can only come from the heart and not the head finding the right person in these days and time, is the hardest thing to do. comuacation it the biggest reson for failers, remember when you have found the right person you will know, it will be the one you think of when you wake up threw out the day and just be for you fall a sleep.........

Most of us know that if someone started telling a joke and it got to the last person that joke wouldn't be told in the same context. Humans perceive actions or even hear gossip in different ways, so no, it's not lying if you really believe what you were saying is the truth. If someone corrected you and they were right and you kept telling it in your own way then yes, you are purposely not telling the truth. Marcy

You will probably never know the truth, but there are various degrees to cheating: A woman can go for a drink with a man, flirt and have several dances, but not sleep with him (if it wasn't an old friend she was doing this with and she didn't let you know then it's still cheating even though she may not have sleep with him). Many women love the attention they get from other men and some women will follow through sexually and others won't. Men/women will often let the other person take the lead and the man/woman will feel that if they don't actually instigate the sexual part of this relationship then they aren't really cheating. The mind is a complex piece of machinery and we can make our minds fool us. Perhaps it's time you were honest with yourself and took time to think when the last time was that you told her she was pretty or you were proud of her. When did you buy her flowers last or when did you take her out for a special dinner or a romantic walk? When was the last time you had a good laugh together? Relationships take work, and if you don't work at it (this goes for women too) then the relationship begins to fragment and the man/women will look elsewhere for attention. It's time to sit down and start communicating with your wife and ask her why she felt she needed to cheat on you. Listen! Good luck Marcy

Anything is possible. He may not know what he wants out of life at this point, but still cares about you. Caring doesn't necessarily mean love and he could be worried about you out of guilt. Give it some time. Try keeping in touch on a friendship basis if possible and take it slow and easy, but beware, he could also be keeping you on the sidelines in case he's he's lonely and his other relationships don't work out. I would start going out with friends and dating again. Perhaps when he sees you not sitting around and that other guys are attracted to you it may spur him on. Good luck Marcy

Many reasons - maybe she doesn't know. Really, the internet and mobile phones make cheating a lot easier.

Or maybe she doesn't realize he's a serial cheater and thinks it was a one off affair. There is the idea that the couple can "get past" an affair [singular], which might be true, just not with a serial cheater. This type of spouse has deeper issues and will never ever stop cheating. Ever.

He finds you attractive, as you also find him attractive as you have noticed him. Don't even THINK about doing anythng about it. If you would like to use the dieting analogy. Just because you are on a diet doesn't mean you can't look in the cake shop window, but if you go inside you are lost as you get the smell, then the taste and before you know it you have bought and eaten a cream cake. If you know you will buy the cake and eat it if you even look in the window, probably better to take another route avoiding the cake shop. So by all means look, but that is it. It means he is trying to figure out if your easy to get into bed. Once hes sure you are easy then he will make his move. Hes playing it very carefull. I guarantee this is not the first time hes done this and wont be the last. Think of his wife. Think of your husband. Also do you really want to be a notch on his belt?

Because no matter how hard you try the person you are trying to help will more than likely turn around and blame you if things don't work out. Sometimes people are so up to their neck in trouble they can't think straight and may hound you for advice, but not take it. I don't help people with marriage or relationship problems on a general basis unless they bring it up to me and I'll offer advice (they can take it or leave it) and if I find they aren't trying to improve their problem then I will let them know I'm not wasting my energy on that particular problem. They can express their frustrations and hurt to me, but I refuse to give more advice and will just let them vent. If they keep at me constantly regarding their problem I'll tell them simply I don't want to hear about it. I'm actually involved in this very thing and have told my friend I've given my opinion on the subject and they decided not to take my advice (that's OK) but they aren't trying to fix the relationship in any way, so I've back completely off.

Wedding *bands* is another way of saying wedding rings. Are you referring to the publishing of "Banns"? This is where the intention to marry is announced in your local church. The idea is that people in the church would know whether you can get married or not (say you're still married to someone else, or something silly like that). In Ontario, publishing the Banns will allow you to waive the Marriage licence fee (at least it did 3 years ago when i got married.)

It depends upon your definition of "cheating." If he is doing it behind his wife's back and hides or denies any such activity many people would consider that wrong. A lot of people can find themselves attracted to a co-worker or business partner because they spend so much time with the person and they may have a lot in common. I think guys who have "issues" at home sometimes find the opportunity for an at-work romance quite tempting.

When we either date a person for a long time, live with them or marry them, then we do form attachments being love or just fondness. Couples go through a lot together and like it or not we form a bond even if it's not love. If your husband is 40+ you can almost bet on male menopause that use to be called "Midlife Crisis." Around the age of 40 we all start to wonder if we did all the right things, and feel this is the last ditch effort to "make things right and do things we've wanted to do." Often some people will have extra marital affairs to compensate other problems they have in their lives ... like recapturing youth. Some men (even women) feel these needs and while some men will sit around like a dull thud and never let you in on their feelings, other men will take action and go out and have an affair. Also, if your husband is on medications check them out for side effects because some medications can cause depression and low sex drive. Diabetics and people with heart problems often have a lack of interest in sex. When a man knows he can't perform it's tough on them. They have had it drilled into their heads that if they can't perform in the sexual department then how could their wives ever love them. For most of us we'd take it in our stride because we love the inner person, and we can deal with the rest of the problems at a slow and steady pace. To have a healthy relationship you need to be held and loved on occasion and if he can't provide this for you then you have to decide if you want to ruin the rest of your life. Personally, I wouldn't live in a loveless marriage. I was married to a man before that was mentally/physically abusive to me and just before our 4th Wedding Anniv., I left him. I wasn't willing to give up my loving nature so easily and expected when I gave it to get it back too. It's a decision I never regretted. I eventually married a big, gentle giant whom I love dearly and we've been happily married for 33 years. I'm so glad I didn't settle for less. Good luck Marcy