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Breakups
It takes two to make it work, but only one to break it up. This is the place to ask questions about the pain, healing, and possible solutions to relationship break-ups.
8,665 Questions
How often do high school sweethearts statistically last?
People who marry in their teens have only a 54% chance of still being married after 10 years. However, a survey done by the dating service eHarmony suggests that couples who meet in school (including college) are happier than those who have met other places (through friends, at a bar, etc.) Data shows a person is less likely to get divorced when they get married at an older age. About half of people 25 and under are married, and by the time they're 35, 11% of them will be divorced.
How do you get over an ex when you have a child together?
You should keep your conversation restrict to about children only. You should try to accept the fact . Avoid contacting them unnecessarily (for no reason).
You do need to see your ex from time to time for a couple of reasons. One reason is so your children will still see their parents as "their parents", not a "parent and another parent", especially if they aren't yet grown. It's important for the kids to still feel they have both parents as a 'unit'.
Another reason is for you. Yes, you. Sometimes the best way to get over someone is to see them not as your wife or husband, but as your ex. If you don't see them, then your mind can still 'pretend' you and your ex are still together, or keep false hope that you will get back together. So by seeing your ex as just that - your ex- you will come to terms with it more quickly, because it can help you to see them in a whole new light, which can help you tremendously. I know it may sound odd at first, but give it a try for a while and you just may be pleasantly surprised at the things about her which you notice that annoy you, but you never gave them much thought while you were together. It's the little things like that which actually can make a difference in helping you to get over her.
Also, allow yourself time to grieve, just as you do when someone dies. After all, this is the death of a marriage, so you need time to grieve. When you feel the need to cry, then let yourself cry as loud and as long as you need to. When I went through my divorce, I cried myself to sleep many, many nights. And I cried all day during the day when I wasn't at work. I felt I would die of a broken heart. This went on for a while, then I literally ran out of tears. But what I didn't do was to let my children see me breaking down; I didn't want them to think badly of their father for hurting me by being with another woman. After all, he was still their father, and I knew they still loved him as much as ever, as they should. Also, I knew, even though they were teens, they were hurting badly, too, and I didn't want to add to their pain.
After you go through the intial grieving process you will go through an anger phase, which is normal, but is also good. Anger is easier to deal with than pain and hurt. When I became angry at my ex husband for cheating again, the anger hit me hard. And that was when my healing finally began. I also realized then that what I had been crying over and grieving for was the man I thought he was, not the man I learned he really was. And that helped me tremendously.
If she does start to show interest in you again, and if you still love her, don't play games. Just tell her straight out that you won't allow yourself to be hurt again. If her interest is sincere and she regrets the divorce, she will say so. If she doesn't, then she is just playing games, and you need to just walk away.
Don't let her use you as her personal bank, either. I've seen women leave their husbands, then treat them as a bank when they wanted money, knowing her husand still loved her. If she made the choice to break up the marriage, then she has to suffer the consequences. She can't expect you to pay for her play time or shopping. Paying child support is a given, but the rest is her responsibility. Don't let her use you for a free handyman or repair man, either. That would only be more painful for you, and unfair to you.
Often, after a divorce when the one who wanted the divorce see their ex is dating someone else, they will feel a bit possessive, and even jealous, or see it as a game to see if they can get their ex back. Don't fall for that. If you still love her and feel she still loves you too, then give it another try. But if you feel she is not sincere, then do not let her hurt you again, or succeed in keeping you from finding happiness with someone else. But honest communication is crucial for both of you, so tell her upfront how you feel if she does try to reel you back in after you do begin dating.
If they are still dragging up past issues and cannot get by them you both need to sitdown together and discuss this situation as it cannot carry on. You need to discuss how one another feels about whatever issues there are and deal with them then leave them in the past - learn from the mistakes, forgive and try to move forward. If they feel they cannot give this behaviour up and move forward then you may have to rethink your relationship and if your willing to put up with this ongoing or get out while you can and move on.
How can you stop loving someone who is already married?
You can start by not being around them anymore. However difficult or impossible it might seem to "let go" you must keep away from them. Avoid them,change jobs if you must, especially if they are enjoying the attention you give them because it means they are using you to boost their ego and the hurt will be intensified FOR YOU. Don't hang around their friends in the hope of hearing what they are doing in their lives, it just keeps the pain alive.
Do what you must and DO IT FOR YOU. It may seem hard but in a few short weeks, they will start to fade from your memory and you will be happy again. Being in love with someone who does not or cannot love you is a hell you need to be free of and as soon as you put the aviodance plan into action the sooner you will be free to love someone who is free to love you- that is worth every ounce of the short term pain of separation. Good luck.
What are the signs that your ex is over you?
My friend this is not a very good question to ask. I can read into so many things into this little sentence. First of all she is your ex.. move on my friend there are Billions of women out there. It comes off very stalkerish you even wondering, it also speaks volumes about your self esteem and your ability to date... I take it you are a guy. too much to try to explain here but work on those areas. There is lots of great resources on the net to improve your dating skills.. not sure for women but one that is really helpful and free is seductionhalloffame.com/Forum Hope that has been of help I can appreciate how difficult it is to have someone break-up with you as I have been there and learned. Cheers
How do i win back my ex when i dumped her?
be sweet and sho her that u still love her...im goin thru the same thing but im tryen to win back a guy who dumped me 4 months ago!!!..just sho her that u really care and do things that will make her happy
Gurl, yeah!!
Is it healthy to have a boyfriend at age 13?
it depends on what your standards are. if that is okay with what you believe in,then sure. why not? NO. I suggest that u wait until u r 15
answer if your heart says yes ask your parents Yes it is perfectly fine there are many 12 year olds that have boyfriends! Good Luck!
What do i do if i love him but don't want to be with him?
If you love someone the you should want to be with them and I have no idea why you are trying not to love him. Doesn't make sense to me. Unless he's into drugs, alcohol, a jerk or an abuser, or married then it appears you have found a real nice guy. You need to ask yourself what is stopping you! Good luck Merry Christmas Marcy
No, the answer in this case is rarely, if ever, yes. Especially in cases in which she broke up with you aka, she dumped you.
That depends on who she is.
Oh yes, the "I need my space" line. It means she wants to keep you dangling on a string while she feels completely free and without guilt dating other guys. Since she is asking her friends about you she is obviously still interested in you. This gal wants her cake and eat it too. Start dating and give those friends of hers something to tell her. Don't ever use a girl to get back at her, but just move on and find a nice girl that you deserve. No one like playing love games and she's hurt you. Let your ex have all the space she wants! Good luck Marcy
How successful is narcissistic new relationships?
in the beginning of a new relationship with a narcissist they will idiolize you and be everything you ever hoped for they will give you gifts n dinners n be attenitive then once they have you hooked they will play their mind games and start the devaluing process which concist of verbal abusive mental games pathologic lying cheating have no empathy then discard you like you never exsisted n move onto their next victim...stay away cuz once your hooked its all over with
What to do when you met your ex?
Though it is very much hard to face ur ex at any place again, try to formal (relax), talk to her as a good friend, don't act too strange to her, say something good about her or her friend, Plz try to be reasonable when you speak.
How do you tell your best friend that you're a lesbian?
Information as follows is necessary to be able to answer this question:
- How long you have been friends.
- Whether she is friendly towards other lesbian/gay/bi friends.
But, if she is a true friend and worth keeping, she will not mind and will support you no matter to what gender you're sexually inclined.
- Speaking as a Lesbian myself; telling straight friends is the hardest thing to do. you spend hours and hours going over it in your head. I went to a Christian school and as you can tell it didn't go down that well, truth is I lost quite a few friends, it's hard at first but you realize later that it's their problem and your friendship wasn't really that important to them, and who wants friends like that. I disagree with the person below me. If you hold hands and cuddle or whatever then tell her she'll freak out, think you're coming on to her and run for the hills. Last year I started at a new school and everyone knows about my sexuality there. At first I denied it because I wasn't sure how it would go down seeing as my past experiences weren't that good. I sent a text message to my best friend from my new school one night and she fully excepted it. It was such a relief to get it out to her. It sucks feeling like you have to bottle all that up. When I started to reveal it to everyone else it was easier knowing I'd always have my best friend with me to stand up for me. All the girls are completely cool with it and treat me no different and I'm as proud as heck about it now. I'm not saying this will be your case but I hope that it is. A persons sexuality has got nothing to do with their personality but people are selfish and pig headed. I recommend doing it in a letter or text or something not too confrontational. It gives them time to think about it. Give it some time and let her come to you first. I'm sorry if this hasn't helped you, let me know how you go if you haven't told her already.
- If she is a lesbian, then don't worry about it; just tell her. She'll be happy. If she's straight, then it depends on how comfortable she is around lesbians and gay people. Does she have any other friends who are lesbians? If she's one of those homophobic people, then it's probably best if you just don't tell her. But if she's a homophobic, then she's probably a stuck-up prep, and I'm guessing she wouldn't be your friend to begin with. Don't just spring it on her (so don't listen to the answer above me). Do something to make her wonder first. Like you could hold her hand or just cuddle with her, and see how she reacts. If she seems comfortable with that, then go ahead and tell her. If she doesn't seem comfortable, then wait a while. The best people to get advice from are other lesbians. Talk to a lesbian that you trust at least a little bit, enough that she won't tell your friend before you do, and just ask her how you should tell your friend. If you actually decide to tell her, do it sometime when you are alone and comfortable. I know this will sound weird, but people are more comfortable expressing themselves honestly in the dark. So maybe outside at night, or when you are sleeping over at her house or something. Or if you're talking to her on the phone late at night, and she isn't doing anything other than talking to you.
- By now I'm sure your friend has some suspicions, but hasn't approached you about it. If she is straight and you are good friends then you being a Lesbian should have no bearing on your friendship. It doesn't change who you are inside. Keep your personal life to yourself unless she is interested enough to ask. I have Lesbian friends and we get along just fine. One lady is particular was a nurse that looked after my father during the early 70s. She was a great nurse and was the only one that could get my dad to laugh while in hospital. I kept in touch with her until she passed away.
- The last thing a heterosexual wants is someone rubbing up against them. That is a violation of personal space. being cuddly can give the wrong impression. She may have had her suspicions but do you really want her thinking the crush is on her? No and this advice is coming from a bisexual. I agree with number one's answer and number three's. Number two you have some good points but you mustn't forget that not all heterosexuals are okay with us lesbians, bisexuals and gays. I agree we shouldn't spring it on your friend at all; it should be a quiet and private space where the two of you can talk together, alone, without being overheard, but please, don't cuddle up to them or touch them unless you two are good enough friends that holding hands is okay between you two. Do not cuddle. Your friend will be very surprised and may react either way. you must give them some space and breathing room because the last thing a person wants when an elephant has been dropped on their chest is their friend squeezing them with hugs to death. When confronted like that some people snap or lash out. be polite and give your friend some space. be accommodating and patient with them. when they are ready they will react and take the news either way. If things go well you'll hug and go one with your lives, stronger and better friends; if not and it's a very negative reaction give them space and they may come back to you in a better thinking mood. or they may not. If your friend leaves you, it's OK. There will be new friends. if a person can't accept you as you are, then they were never really your friend.
- Okay, Coming from a bisexual, I wouldn't tell her straight up. Play a joke on her, then when you tell her it was a joke, also tell her your gay, as if you were playing another joke on her. See how she reacts. If she takes it badly, tell her you were joking again, if she takes it okay, then come out to her. That is the easiest way. I just told my BFF this month, and that is what I did. But I do recommend telling the jokes, and the truths, through texting, IM, or e-mail. This will give them some time to think it through before they see you again. Also, expect it to be a little akward for like the first week. After a week she should pretty much be over it. And if she is truly your friend, then she won't really care that you are gay.
How do you get your boyfriend back after you lied to him?
You broke the worst rule of the lot "trust!" Sorry to say, but you have to face the music and hopefully you have learned your lesson. If so, then phone him, apologize and ask if you can meet to talk things out. You may get lucky and if you do then mean what you say!
He wants me to show him that i want his trust back but how
Do guys realize what they have lost?
Some men do and some men don't. Some men can take it very hard while others move on without blinking an eye or looking back.
Is it ever too late to apologize?
Its never late too apologize. Even if she/he doesnt approve it in the future you will know it was worth it.
How do you make your boyfriend jelous?
Pretend your busy all the time because he'll think 'wow she really doesn't need me for anything' Go to the gym! he'll see that you going and not only will he think 'jeeze maybe shes losing weight to get ready for a single summer', he will also be very attracted to you if your working out and eating good.
well what if that don't work because he says i am fine the way i am
snog another boy in front of him, or even better- get another boyfriend. Then he'll desperately want you back! If he says you are fine the way you are then why do you need to make him jealous? Just move on, and get some new hobbies, the more you sit and mope over him the worse you'll feel. It also gives you more time to hang out with your girl friends. Do something really girly together and have loads of fun without him, youll realise that you can live without him, you have a life more than him. You don't deserve him if he doesn't want you!
How do you tell someone you barely know you love them?
well a good way to start would be to get to know that person first because if you get to know them they will either a) turn out to be a jerk and you will have saved your self an embaressing moment or b) like you too then give them a card on their birthday saying "hey i heard it was your birthday have a good one!" a home made card will be best they will think you where really sweet by rembering their birthday and get to know you better
How many stages do girls go through after a break up?
Yes at first it is unbearable pain. At second its unbearable pain. At third after you do don't see them for a while you get a slight glimpse at the possibility at moving on, but then you see them and you heart comes shattering down. You go through a couple months of not seeing them, kind of recovering, and then seeing them and have your heart shatter. Then you kinda get used to your heart shattering and it goes away. Then after a real long time you start to wonder why they even made your heart drop. And then you get over them. Good luck.
- Lke the dumpee, the dumper also goes thru several different stages of development. Understanding these stages may help in whether you are trying to win them back or not.
stage 1- Contentment- after the break up, there are content or think that they are happier out of the relationship and free to pursue what they think that they want. this do
stage 2- Guilt- this stage is tricky. they will either see if the can work things out, be extra friendly to not feel as bad about dumping their ex or always argue with their ex to reassurse themselves that what did was right. the dumpee should be very careful here, espically if they are trying to win the ex hearts back. this stage has no definite answer to where it may lead to.
stage 3- Loving Again- some time after the break up, they will eventually let themselves fall in love with another, or at least attach/trust themselves someone they think is better for them.
stage 4- Remorse- At some point, the dumper will look back at what he/she had with their ex and question and compare it with their new partner. they will see if they really miss what they had and was it worth leaving. all aspects of his/her new relationship will be questioned. this will either lead them to slip back to guilt (stage 2), may result in breaking up with their new guy/girl, or they may find the get over their remorse and move on to stage five.
stage 5- freedom- this when they have move on with their lives and have completely let go from their previous relationship.
*these can cycle thru many times and before reaching stage five. and like the dumpee it may take years before coming to terms with one self.
**these stages are loose and may not fit with all people, some are just stronger willed than others. the dumper usually always have been thinking about separation for a long time before breaking up.
*** if you are the dumpee trying to find figure what may be going thru your ex's mind, this may help, but do not sit and wait, like stated before hand, it may take years and why would you waste your life like that? you have to let go and let them come to terms with themselves and what they've lost, like you will.
Why does your girlfriend act like she does not care anymore when you break up with her?
perhaps you're being too forward. Relationships are like elastic bands. Go forward and she'll ping away. Take a step back and she'll ping back. Be calm, and leave her to come to you. If she doesn't, then ....
Feeling Hurt? Of course, no one goes through life without getting hurt. We all have our moments. But, what matters most, is how we deal with these moments. Do we let them pass, suffering the pain, swallowing it. Of course, most of the time the pain will get stuck in our throat. It will seldom go away. But isn't it possible that the person inflicting the pain, in this case a man, does not really know how badly he has hurt you? As if he were a child, you will have to teach him how you feel when you get hurt. How can you do that? Of course, you know the answer. You must hurt him equally. Yes, this sounds terrible, but there is no other way. Reason won't do it. It is the pain we experience that will change our behavior.
How do you convince someone to love you?
It is very difficult, and sometimes impossible for you to make someone love you. Emotions like love usually can't be forced, they just come on their own. And sometimes forcing your love on someone does the opposite of what you intended. But one thing that sometimes works, is just smile. Smile for them when they achieved something or help them when their down. It does a lot to just smile. Also, just be kind and happy around them. Talk with them and laugh with them. It will slowly add up.
you dont "make" someone love you they have to love you can do stuff to lead them on to love you like try to impress her do things she likes be kind to her and make her feel satisfied
just impress them. dont know how? then learn.
You can't make them love you -- they do this on their own. Of course, you want to be likeable and true to yourself. From there, love may flow if everything else is as it should be. Treating love as a challenge or goal is not appropriate since it is a feeling between two people.
What do you do if your ex goes out with your best friend?
if a friend goes out with your ex you cant stop her your have to let her be happy. the same goes for your ex ,you cant have him forever so the best thing to do is forgive them .im not saying forgive and forget but you gave to at least let it go.
