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Sociopathy (Psychopathy)
A mental disorder characterized by Antisocial Personality Disorder, lack of empathy and the concern for self.
535 Questions
Do all narcissists have a disorder?
Not everyone who displays narcissistic traits has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). It's important to distinguish between occasional self-centered behavior and a diagnosable mental health condition. A diagnosis of NPD involves a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy that causes distress or impairment in functioning.
How do you make people fear and respect you?
If you're asking how to become a sociopath, its too late, you can't. Not unless you're still about five.
If you want a layman's answer to that question... have no fear, take no s***, look after your own, and "look after" those who cross you. Become a moral nihilist. Don't give a f***. About anything. The latter usually ends with you just being yourself, so -
If you don't have it, don't try. You either have it or you don't. Ask yourself what you do have, and play to your strengths.
PRIMARY PSYCHOPATHS do not respond to punishment, apprehension, stress, or disapproval. They seem to be able to inhibit their antisocial impulses most of the time, not because of conscience, but because it suits their purpose at the time. Words do not seem to have the same meaning for them as they do for us. In fact, it's unclear if they even grasp the meaning of their own words, a condition that Cleckley called "semantic aphasia." They don't follow any life plan, and it seems as if they are incapable of experiencing any genuine emotion.
SECONDARY PSYCHOPATHS are risk-takers, but are also more likely to be stress-reactive, worriers, and guilt-prone. They expose themselves to more stress than the average person, but they are as vulnerable to stress as the average person. (This suggests that they are not "fully psychopathic." This may be due to distinctive genetic variations.)
They are daring, adventurous, unconventional people who began playing by their own rules early in life. They are strongly driven by a desire to escape or avoid pain, but are unable to resist temptation. As their anxiety increases toward some forbidden object, so does their attraction to it. They live their lives by the lure of temptation. Both primary and secondary psychopaths can be subdivided into:
Primary psychopathy was defined by those following this theory as the root disorder in patients diagnosed with it, whereas secondary psychopathy was defined as an aspect of another psychiatric disorder or social circumstances.
Factor 1Aggressive narcissism
- Glibness/superficial charm
- Grandiose sense of self-worth
- Pathological lying
- Cunning/manipulative
- Lack of remorse or guilt
- Emotionally shallow
- Callous/lack of empathy
- Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
- Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
- Parasitic lifestyle
- Poor behavioral control
- Promiscuous sexual behavior
- Lack of realistic, long-term goals
- Impulsiveness
- Irresponsibility
- Juvenile Delinquency
- Early behavioral problems
- Revocation of conditional release
Primary psychopaths are considered to have mostly Factor 1 traits from the PCL-R (arrogance, callousness, manipulativeness, lying) whereas secondary psychopaths have a majority of Factor 2 traits (impulsivity, boredom proneness, irresponsibility, lack of long-term goals).
Sexual exclusivity is the state in which one person is available only to certain persons, or even just one person. For instance, in Christian marriages the couple are sexual exclusive to one another: they cannot have sexual relations with anyone else.
Yes, hate groups still exist in various forms and continue to spread messages of bigotry and discrimination. These groups often target marginalized communities based on factors like race, religion, or sexual orientation, and can promote violence and hatred. Efforts are being made by communities, organizations, and governments to combat and address the harm caused by these hate groups.
Most psychopaths do not kill people. Psychopathy is antisocial personality disorder, characterized by a lack of empathy, guilt and inhibition.
Know it sounds mean but is there any way to mess up a narcissist?
I am in the middle of trying to end a relationship with a narcissist - I have children so it was very important for me that they know who I am. I realised that he there was something wrong with him after just two dates with him - I told him I was not interested in a relationship with him and he literally 'squared up' to me and said in an extremely aggressive and threatening way that 'he was looking forward to a bit of romance' .....I knew right then that he did not care about my feelings or who I was and I immediately felt 'not separate' from him. I tried to get away from him numerous times but he continually dumped on me how this would affect him and basically would never understand my point of view. I ended up being broken down into marrying him but all the time I purposely kept my feelings and emotions to myself - my anger and resentment. I made vain attempts to try to talk about the relationship but he would become extremely defensive and give 30 different reasons why I was imagining things and why I was mad. I was in 'cope' mode for twenty years. But at the same time I met someone else 'normal' and had a relationship for a year but when it came to deciding what to do I needed to cut loose from my marriage and resolve the problems before engaging in a relationship elsewhere. I legally separated from my narcistic 'ex' but he STILL didn't let go - and then me met another girl - this was the first time in 20 years that I felt 'free' it was a physical sensation of a huge pole being taken from my head and years of anguish and anger and grief came flooding out. I immediately got back on to him and 'showed' myself to him and gave him a choice to come back but all the time wanting to get all the skeletons out and to take back my life - for the next six months and because he didn't have 'control' over me any more - his raging anger came flooding out and his mask slipped in front of my family - EVERYBODY saw exactly what he was like - for 20 years he USED me as a conduit to filter his insecurity and 'nothingness' and now EVERYBODY saw what he was like. When I separated from him I ensured that I manipulated all the money and have bought my house outright and HE lives in rented accommodation. I have the opportunity to build 'normal' relationships with my children and they are seeing now exactly who the 'mental' person is because for years he told them that I was mentally sick and NOW they can see exactly who the sick one is.
I do not understand why I my life I have had to live through this hell and try to escape with some sort of self respect and self esteem. I HATED playing him at his own game but it was the only way I felt that I could survive and expose him and get my life back. I feel that I have reliquished my power and my trust in men and in relationships because of this and I am really a shell of a person compared to what I was before he crossed my path. I felt that 'reducing' him was my only way to survive and to try to breath again but the process to myself and my health was terrible.
I am not sure whether I would advise anyone to try to mess a narcisist up because at the end of the day they do not have the capacity to feel and to empathise - this would have been the ONLY release for me for him to care and to understand and be respectful - but i KNOW that I will NEVER get this from him - I need to learn to give it back to myself and it is a very difficult thing to do after so many years of being smothered and abused.....
Dissociative Identity Disorder person have it more than 6 years?
Couple things here. DID persons, in my opinion and experience, never stop having it. They can treat the symptoms and stop the most intrusive symptoms, but they will rarely got to a point where all of their alters get integrated completely. If they are able to integrate or incorporate (another method of DID management) their alters, it can take years, even decades to do so (in the most extreme cases; lots of alters, co-morbid conditions, etc, all play a role as well) So yeah, more than 6 years is not unusual. A lifetime is not unusual and is actually pretty normal IME.
Also, many people with DID are misdiagnosed or don't go for help for a long time, for various reasons. You can only develop DID as a child, so if someone is 25 and going to therapy for DID, they're had it for AT LEAST 15 years (probably more like 18-20 or more), since it cannot develop after a person stops being able to believe in "magical thinking" (aka stuff like santa clause and the tooth fairy). Symptoms may lie dormant, or the person suffering may not realize they have a problem or be unable to deal with it, especially if they are still a child and/or still experiencing abuse. To a child who knows nothing else, DID symptoms and abuse are normal to them and they may not realize their situation or mental state is abnormal.
Emotions exist as adaptive responses that help us navigate our environment and make decisions. They can serve as signals for potential threats or rewards, help us communicate with others, and guide our behavior in various situations. Emotions play a crucial role in our survival and social interactions.
What word encompasses the meanings of both psychopath and sociopath?
The term "antisocial personality disorder" encompasses the traits and behaviors associated with both psychopathy and sociopathy, including a lack of empathy, disregard for laws and social norms, and manipulative tendencies.
Why do people join hate groups?
People join hate groups because they feel disillusioned with society, rightly or wrongly, and they feel they must blame others for what is wrong in their lives. Many join hate groups for about the same reasons as the people who use illicit drugs or have illicit sex.
- It makes them feel better, or at least not quite so bad. They have low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy, and nothing positive in their own lives to make them feel good.
- Feeling superior to (and hatred for) 'those negroes', 'those Jews', 'those gothic kids,' 'those homophobes,' or even 'those Yankees fans' saves them the trouble of having to find something better to do.
- Since hating (or shooting up) takes away the need to consider what they are doing, they never face up to the harm that they are doing to themselves as well as to others.
There's always another, smaller element in the hate groups. This is the group of psychopaths who use hate groups to 'justify' their desire to cause pain, suffering and destruction. A few of these in each hate group are also making a good living out of it. Hitler, Himmler and Goering lived very well for more than ten years.
Now, sometimes, what they are joining is not really a hate group, but something falsely labeled as such by folks with certain biases. Pro-family groups are generally not hate groups, for instance, yet most are listed as such by those who see their mere existence as offensive. A few of the groups that defend sexual minorities share similar characteristics with hate groups, but their rhetoric is politically correct and usually tolerated.
Then there are those who become a part of hate groups for seemingly noble causes or because they have genuinely been victimized by people of the targeted group. Some aren't really hardcore haters, but just lonely people looking for those who share similar interests. The problem is that more vocal or aggressive members drown out their voices and pressure them to do things that they don't want to do.
How do sociopaths victimize others?
Well, you are dealing with someone who has no conscience and no ability to empathize with others. Sociopaths can be as mild as being simply selfish and narcissistic, to being serial killers. Essentially, a sociopath with take, take, take, and even hurt you, and have no remorse for doing so. Reciprocating kindness is not a concept they comprehend. With very little exception, there is no effective treatment or cure for this disorder.
What is the medical term meaning pathological liar?
mythomania also known as pseudologia fantastica or pathological lying) is a condition involving compulsive lying by a person with no obvious motivation. The affected person might believe their lies to be truth, and may have to create elaborate myths to reconcile them with other facts
-Wikipedia
What makes a person sociopathic is a long and hard question to answer. In truth, there probably isn't a correct answer. There are some theories, which I will outline, briefly, here. But one must remember psychoanalytic theories are difficult, if not impossible, to prove completely via scientific method. The reason for this is that, unlike many chemicals, personality is mutable and difficult to define. The way mental illnesses affect people is also quite diverse. In each individual a mental illness most likely will run a course different from that in the next individual. And personality disorders, such as antisocial personality, can range over a broad spectrum when considering its similarities and differences in different people.
The most commonly accepted predeterminant of sociopathy would be a grave degree of early parental neglect. If anything, this seems to be the most diagnostic factor in forming antisocial personality. A person, even an animal, needs some form of just post-natal bonding with another person or animal in order to form proper relationships with others as he or she ages. When this is not provided, all h-e-double-toothpicks, as they say, breaks loose. As an aside, it does not matter the race, age or sex of the individual with whom the baby must bond. In the animal kingdom, a duck may bond to a dog, a penguin to a wildebeest. As long as the elder animal is nurturant, the animal does well. In the animal world, this bonding is called imprinting. In the human world, the lack of such bonding results in something called "mental illness."
Other considered factors are problems with the cortex and, possibly, heredity. A theory I find of interest is that very low or very high intelligence may play a role. Risk-taking behavior is more a symptom than a precursor. I am unsure where upon the spectrum would fall impulsivity. Is it a cause of sociopathy? Does the psychopathic personality just gravitate to problems with impulse control? Of course, substance abuse is always mentioned. But sellf-medicating substance use or abuse is a component of all mental illnesses.
As an aside, when people refer to sociopathy, they are referring to one or possibly more of the following. These are different, but largely by degrees. Learning about sociopathy, psychopathy, asocial personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, disocial personality disorder will further your enlightenment, such as it may be in the darkness, about the others.
An excellent book on this subject is "The Mask of Sanity," by Hervey M. Cleckley, MD. Although it was written in 1941, it is still highly relevant today.
I read this (linked) article and agree with the premise that sociopaths are born sociopaths. The "third ingredient", essentially being abused (as a child), is what triggers the violent tendencies later in life that make a sociopath be noticed by other people and/or themselves (manifestation).
What makes someone turn into a pathological liar?
Yes. We are all born in sin. All of us are born liars, cheaters, thieves..ect. But we must be born again. Not the normal way that Nicodemus thought Jesus was talking about but born of the water and of the spirit. This is so we start fresh. So we are not bound to our sin and with Jesus' forgiveness we do not have to be stuck in a rut with our generational curse
What percentage of sociopaths get well?
The percentage of sociopaths who experience significant improvement or "get well" is not well-documented, as personality disorders like sociopathy tend to be chronic and resistant to change. Treatment options typically focus on managing symptoms rather than curing the condition. It's important for individuals with sociopathic traits to seek professional help and support for managing their behaviors.
What theory suggest people commit crime because because of status frustration?
Robert K. Merton's Strain Theory suggests that individuals may engage in criminal behavior due to the inability to achieve culturally valued goals (such as wealth or success) through legitimate means, leading to status frustration. This theory highlights the strain experienced when individuals feel disconnected from societal expectations and resort to criminal behavior as a response.
Im not concerned im curious. I think im a sociopath but im not certain. how do i find out.?
If you have feelings of affection, love and caring for any person or creature besides yourself, you are most likely not a sociopath. Sociopaths almost always have severe physical and emotional abuse in their backgrounds. Lacking that, you are most likely not a sociopath. However, if you feel that you do have an emotional disturbance of some kind, we suggest speaking with a professional: a counselor, therapist or psychiatrist who can help you sort through those matters.
What mental illness do people who kill animals suffer with?
Individuals who kill animals may exhibit symptoms of conduct disorder, antisocial personality disorder, or sadistic tendencies. These conditions may be present alongside other mental health issues such as psychopathy or impulse control disorders. It is important to seek professional help and assessment in these cases to determine the underlying causes.
Why are demented people in fiction portrayed as sociopaths?
This comes from the dual meaning of the word "demented". It can refer to either (1) a person suffering from dementia OR (2) a person who is mad or insane (regardless of cause). Since the second definition is much more commonly used, it is the one reflected more often in television and written materials. Usually people suffering from dementia in television and written materials are treated empathetically because of the sadness associated with memory loss.
Are sociopaths likely to cheat?
We don't care for the same reasons others would. We get mad when the other person is obvious, because it ruins our image. Our significant other is our best piece on the chess board save our proteges, so we will always protect our assets being taken from us. It's difficult to cheat on a sociopath, because we can see through you. So in short, if you are a sociopath dating another you won't have a problem. If you are a non-sociopath cheating on a sociopath it will be short lived and they will make you emotionally suffer for betraying them
How can one convince a sociopath to get help?
If they apologize, then they don't really mean it. A sociopath does not feel remorse so you can't get them to be sorry.
One has to have a conscience to "own up to" one's actions and theirdestructiveness, or else the confrontation will be perceived as anattack. This doesn't mean that sociopaths should not be confronted,only that until a way is found to change the way they learn, it won'thave the desired effect.
Sociopaths are the way they are because, from birth onward, the brainof a sociopath stores learning information in a random, chaotic wayinstead of in the usual designated places in the cerebral cortex. Partof this involves lack of crucial neurotransmitters, but as of yet noone knows whether this lack is caused BY the brain abnormality or is the cause OF it. It's probably the former.
Since their information -- including emotional information -- isscattered all over both brain hemispheres, it takes too long for thebrain to retrieve and process information, and the entire process ofsocialization becomes so ponderous that ultimately it fails. (See thebook "Without Conscience" by Robert Hare, PhD.)
Since the entire cerebral cortex of a sociopath is almost never ata normal level of alertness (their waking brain waves resemble thewaves of a normal person in a light sleep, alpha waves), this may bethe crucial deficiency that cripples the developing child's ability todevelop many aspects of the human mind. As the child grows, some of thebasic mental and emotional skills the rest of the world takes so forgranted never develop, and crucial among these is the thing calledconscience. That one never develops at all.
Some people may envy the apparent calm of a sociopath, but theirexistence is misery. They cannot connect with other human beings, andas babies they are so uncomfortable being held that they fight towriggle free of all but the most basic necessary contact. Theirheartbroken parents often blame themselves or the child, never knowingthat what is really wrong with the child is in his or her brain.
Under the almost somnolent calm sociopaths project is a constantsense of restlessness and unfulfillment that is nothing other than thebasic need all people have to receive stimulation and support fromothers. But a sociopath has no way of receiving this even if it'soffered. The endless frustration of this, and a discomfort that theyare utterly incapable of articulating or even really understanding, is the source of much of their chronic anger and aggression.
Plus, since they grow up in constant conflict with authority, theyare most often bitterly angry and sometimes violent adults, brittle andcombatative under a thin veneer of charm. Offered friendship, theyappear to respond, but quickly discover that they can get nothing fromit; they see the obvious pleasure of other people in such contact witheach other, and they often seek to "even it up" by stealing what theycan -- material goods, or even human lives. They are constantly toldhow "bad" they are, and by adulthood, most of them believe it. Andbehave accordingly.
Sociopaths rarely feel true happiness. If they do, it is usually inthe condition that some kind of intervention -- such as one of thesmall number of medications made for other conditions that may alsohelp somewhat with theirs -- has taken place, and it will be fleeting.For all their frantic racing around, they are really very dead inside,and this is tragic beyond description. Imagine spending your entirelife trying to get your brain to wake up! And failing. Thousands oftimes.
Only time will tell.
And some people have said that the only way to persuade a sociopath or psychopath to seek help is by threatening him/her with DEATH!!
One way -- or another...
And the main reason sociopaths don't usually seek helpfrom their fellow human beings is that they can'ttrust, rather than that they like being as they are. Plus, they canoften sense exactly what sort of a response any call for help on theirpart is most likely to elicit from professionals and lay folk alike.Sociopaths are not breezing along in paradise. It isn't all a game.It's a truly miserable existence. And it can be made better. It may notbe "curable" yet, but it most certainly isn't as hopeless as so manypeople say. There is therefore nothing to be gained and much to be lostwhen therapists and lay folk try to ostracize sociopaths from the humanrace entirely! Sensationalism and superstition will only preventprogress.
This was written on another question on the same essential topic as this one, by a self-confessed sociopath who was officially diagnosed (other than me!) --
- Sociopaths, though born that way, are people too. To avoid anentire group of people is absurd. That's like saying, "Since thesepeople have dark skin, everyone should completely avert themselves fromthem." I am a moderate sociopath, and though part of me doesn't want tochange, another does. Many times it is really entertaining to see howstupid people can be, especially when they're so gullible as to believeevery word that mellifluously flows from my lips. Yes, I am parasitic,but even so, there are some people I would like to stop hurting. Ican't find any websites that can provide a way to help my sociopathy.Maybe people like you should stop your self-victimisation and starttrying to actually help people like me! I knew I was a sociopath beforethe age of ten but have only recently had it officially diagnosed. I ameighteen years old now, and I have been lying and destroying others'sanity for a long time. So, please post some helpful tidbits that mighthelp sociopaths resist the sweet urges we get when we encounter weakhuman beings. When you cut us, do we not bleed? When you kill us, do wenot die? Do you honestly think that you're being lied to andmanipulated when we sincerely ask for help. Listen to yourselves! Thisis the internet; ergo, you're safe from our fortified mental grasp.
The essay that follows was written in another answer by anotherself-admitted sociopath, who actually might not be a sociopath. Stillanother person added the brief comment to that effect after her tragic essay.
- umm... i kindof am one... just so y'all know, it's not so muchfun being one either. i read that sentence up there, "Incapable of realhuman attachment to another." i don't even know what that is, i see it,i approximate it... it's like being outside a door looking through adirty window and watching re-runs of people I've seen in love or withchildren or with friends, and scratching, sometimes banging at theglass to get in and... nothing. I'm fond of people in every sense ofthe word, their little quirks and habits, the way they see life, exceptif they went away it wouldn't bother me much other than finding someoneelse to be fond of. i don't have friends, i only date military menbecause they're ok with only having a girlfriend for a couple monthsand i tell them in advance i won't wait for them... i don't know whatelse to do to limit the damage i inflict on others just as a result ofthem knowing me, short of moving to the mountains... but i still movebetween 2-5 times a year :( it's kindof hard walking around knowingi'll never have what i see making other people so happy and runningwhen i can tell someone is getting close just because i don't want tohurt them more later down the road... i'd like it alot to settle down,i WANT to be able to feel more with people, but it's hard to miss whatyou never had. i want what i THINK it would feel like... it'd be easyto give in and let someone stay because I'm so lonely... but hey, i'vewritten enough, just know i try to be a responsible little sociopath, iwon't ever get married or have kids, i practice safe sex, i won't stayin one city for long... everything you all take for granted i willnever let myself have just because i WANT to take it for granted. beinglike this won't go away so hopefully i can limit the amount of hatethrown my way by limiting my interaction with people, i don't know whatelse to do. and you all might not belive this, but i am sorry,hopefully i can speak for the other people who have damaged your lives.
Comment: The above testimony is clearly not indicative of asociopath because she seems to make efforts to keep from harmingothers, even if it doesn't benefit herself.
There are stories of people diagnosed as sociopaths who did improveto some degree, with the most ceaseless and diligent help. But sincethe vast majority of this huge body of people (there are more thanthree hundred million sociopaths on Earth) cannot get that kind ofattention, they turn to abusing those they envy, and often to crime. Itis certainly vengeance: "If I can't have any of this, why should you?"This is the real reason sociopaths lash out at strong and kind people.No matter what they say, they know that inside, they are always emptyand damaged beyond repair.
Only in neuroscience is there hope for these incomplete people. Thekey lies in awakening the brain, which is risky because sociopaths aremuch more prone to seizures than the rest of the population, and that-- an uncontrolled blast of electrical discharge spreading through thebrain and causing violent convulsions -- is likely to be the firstresponse from brain pathways that, after years or even decades ofsilence, are suddenly flooded with impulses. But if the devices ofneurosurgeons can be tweaked to avoid this shock, and all else relatedto this idea is workable, it's feasible that small electronic devicesplanted in the brain (these already exist, but are not yet being usedfor mental illness) could open up a closed connection.
That leaves us with the problem of whether a lifetime of scatteredinformation can ever be set into order. Probably the best that could behoped for would be a kind of retraining -- like what is now done withstroke survivors and head injury patients -- that would be bothintensive and compensatory.
One of the things that would be necessary would be to try to socializethe person whose congenital birth defect made such a thing completelyimpossible before. Whatever intervention is used, be it drugs orcomputer chips or what have you, it would probably -- I'd say certainly-- be excruciating for the patient at first. With no knowledge of howto cope with the emotions the rest of the world has been dealing withall their lives, the recovering sociopath would be rendered asvulnerable as a baby. Which makes sense, because some of the most basicaspects of the human mind would be developing from the primordialstasis in which they had remained since birth!
A person thus treated would never be fully normal, but the humanbrain is amazing in the way it adapts and continues to develop allthrough life. And given the utterly joyless and meaningless existence asociopath leads, any improvement is better than none.
The matter of missing neurotransmitters in a sociopath is, ofcourse, another problem. Would "waking up" the cerebral cortexeventually stimulate production of these? Or would they have to besynthesized? Only time will tell.
Just as science understands that epilepsy is not demonic possession,that people with dissociative conditions are not harboring ghosts ordevils in their bodies, and that depression is not a "deadly sin," itwould and will be able to prove that sociopathy happens for a reasonand that it can be dealt with. Sociopaths do very bad things. Butbranding them all "pure evil" isn't going to help anyone. It's justmore hate.
I have commented elsewhere that the human brain is the greatest newfrontier in many ways. (Although I certainly have no lack of interestin space.) Sociopaths, along with other "hopeless cases" like peoplewith Alzheimer's disease, Down's syndrome, Asperger's, ADD, ADHD,autism, and the schizophrenias, along with more common disorders suchas depression and addiction, and so on, are a mystery, but scientistshave a way of hammering away at mysteries until they unravel them, and,be assured, they are well on their way to the core of this one.
What famous people have bipolar?
- Sting
- Jimmie Hendrix
- Beethoven
- Emilie Autumn.
- Robert Calvert
- Kurt Cobain
- Ray Davies
- Mike Doughty
- Matthew Good
- Macy Gray
- Beth Hart
- Kristin Hersh
- Daniel Johnston
- Ben Moody
- Sinéad O'Connor
- Phil Ochs
- Jaco Pastorius
- Odean Pope
- Richard Rossi
- Charlene Soraia
- Devin Townsend
- Scott Weiland
- Pete Wentz
- Brian Wilson
- Amy Winehouse
- Matthew Good
- Pepper McGowan
- Christine Herbert
Will a sociopath continue to have bad relationships?
Its very strange to me, however, that I wasn't happy being on the emotional roller coaster he had me on and yet HE left ME and I haven't heard from him in weeks. He's telling everyone how great this new woman is and falling all over himself to make her happy. They've been together almost two months now. Meanwhile, I'm still trying to get over him -- the good AND the bad.
Maybe I need to know that I am lucky that he's out of my life and it didn't get to the point of him being physically abusive towards me (I've been told that had we moved in together or gotten married, the physical abuse would have started within a short time). I miss him, can't believe that he's with someone else and its like I never existed to him. I can't seem to get past this.
AnswerI am not going to tell you to stop missing or loving him but the person you thought he was....he wasn't. He moved on to another "victim" (and yes that is what you were too) and you are very lucky that he has found another victim. Even though you don't want to see someone else hurt (I am sure) but you are # 1 now. Believe me from experience I was the "new girl" and it didn't take long for his "true" self (the sociopath) to come out....I pray everyday that he will find a new victim so I will feel a little safer.They don't change and he will continue to leave a trail of hurt people. I am guessing he is narcissistic also....sociopaths usually are. He wants his life to look like a fairytale (perfect)....because he is perfect and wouldn't settle for less than this. I am sure you were the perfect girl once too and all his friends said how he has never been this way before...blah blah blah. Hang in there and don't be jealous....she can have him and hopefully she figures him out sooner than later too but you worry about you and get out there and get your life back!
AnswerI am in your same situation--my sociopath lied and cheated on me for 7 1/2 years and I still miss him and wish he would call! Sick, I know. He had been leading me on with declarations of love and promises that we would be together and have a great life (long distance relationship). What i really miss is the idea of the fantasy relationship i let him create in my mind, even though his actions were saying other things.Last week I found a card from a girl he has been seeing for almost three years! He tells her the same thing. I think he was actually going to propose to her though, because with her he also got instant friends (he had none of his own), and even a dog he told me was his but is actually hers! When he found out I exposed him for the liar and cheater he is, he called and told me I was evil and ruined his life! That probably hurt the most, to realize that the other relationship ending was so devastating for him. But again, it's also about outside appearances and she and her friends and family had really only seen one side of him.
So here he is in this so-called perfect new relationship, yet he was still cheating on her and lying to her face when she would question him about anything, and now we know he has also been with other women since she has seen him (and most definitely there were more girls he was involved with since I've known him). Those new relationships are always perfect from the outside (wasn't yours?) but you know the new girl has her suspicions--she just doesn't have the proof yet. I think you should have a nice little conversation with her.
Also, the way healthy people have relationships is so different from the way sociopaths have them: normal people connect on many levels and tend to have a feeling of some connectedness with the human race; sociopaths don't, period. A sociopath can only have a thin thread of connectedness to persons he or she uses for whatever stimulation they can provide. A healthy person finds that hard to comprehend, and even they can be pulled in.
Answer from a SociopathWhat's a normal relationship to you? You being weak and pathetic enough to let someone manipulate you. We are demonized because we can manipulate people with greater ease than anyone else and because we know we are amazing people. You shouldn't be coddled into believing you are mentally healthy and a victim. I've been in a relationship with people such as yourself and we do what we do to you because you're using us as a crutch and it gets tiring. Why do you think were charming? Because people are attracted to strong people. The only good relationship a sociopath will have is with another sociopath, because the only other people who would dare get into a relationship with us would be someone so weak and naive we would destroy them.If you sociopaths are so perfect and strong then why are you always running away from everything? Strong people fight and stick it out through the hardest situations and by this they benefit by learning and they grow stronger in the process.... even if it is an inconvenience for them...and, my dear, that is what you people are...inconveniences to us. Then again, perhaps we shouldn't demonize you because it's your brain chemistry that is the issue from a physiological and psychological standpoint...factors such as inadequate amount of stress hormones etc..etc.. I will not judge you or any of your kind because we all have our little deep dark secrets hidden within our ID and I'd like to think of the "sociopath" as the ultimate personification of the ID where life is all about ruthless gratification no matter how illogical or harmful "It's" actions may be...Looks to me like the ID and the Ego are having a hayday with tugging each others strings...and the superego? pssshhh it's in a caged little box somewhere in the dark crying. You people need to remember that sooner or later, you always get caught and one day you just might get the needle or a bullet lodged into your head from a so-called victim. Hey, we can think about the pleasures of murder too...everyone does now and then...it's completely...human. Your not perfect...infact, you are classified as a person with brain deficiencies so obviously that's not perfect. After being exposed to your brilliance...we learned a thing or two and are able to mimic such behavior ourselves to break out of a dangerous situation...so keep teaching us, Master... and we shall prevail! Just remember that there are psychology books up-to-date, circulating around the world in every language that lists every little detail that describes what you truly are so in reality...you are just playing a very stupid, pointless game that makes up for your lack of whatever it is that you secretly lack. We all have special abilities and manipulation is just another card in the deck for the human race. In case you haven't noticed, there are many normal functioning people who manipulate and get away with it. It's everywhere. You just major in it.
The best way you can send a huge blow to a sociopath is to walk away. I like this one saying "You can fool people some of the time, but you can't fool people all of the time." If you are involved with a sociopath, eventually you will wake up . The things that they say won't add up and their charming façade will fade.
Can you bruise a sociopaths ego?
I just left a sociopath - It is not a game- these people have no conscience and that leaves them prone to do just about anything to you - especially if they think that threats and loss of control of you is at stake. Believe me if you think you bruised a sociopaths ego- You can expect rage, vengeance and to be looking over your shoulder a very long time no matter how far you try to move away.
