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Breakups
It takes two to make it work, but only one to break it up. This is the place to ask questions about the pain, healing, and possible solutions to relationship break-ups.
8,665 Questions
What is a word for thinking of him?
there is a lot of word for thinking about him one that some girl say is thinking and that's it
He means that he wants to be friends with you, and thinks that the friendship could be a good one. If he said he wants to take it slow then that probably means he wants to let some time pass by while having you as a friend, before you start dating again. That's also true of people you haven't dated yet. And he said he cares because he obviously does care. And he doesn't want to lose you as a friend after he's already lost you as a girlfriend. Or boyfriend. Don't worry about it, everything's fine. If there's something your curious about, and you ask him that question the first time, don't ask him it again, just make sure he hears you the first time you say it. Just give him lots, and I mean LOTS of space to think, and give him time also. Asking him about it again will do no good whatsoever. He'll tell you when the time is right. All you're doing is pushing him closer and closer to a negative decision each time you ask him about it.
What to do next breaking up with abuser?
So, you're breaking up with an abusive partner?
As hard and as awful as that relationship must have been, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Here's what you do:
- You tell him [DRIVE somewhere public to talk{meet him outside of your home, ideally} make sure it's NOT when you're alone with him - it's very important there is someone there {preferably a strong male; it's a common known fact that men are only scared and intimidated by other men, and that's what you want your abuser to recognise: he is not allowed to touch you} who can be witness and protector during this process] that you no longer want to be with him. You can go into 'why?' of your own accord, it needn't be mentioned that he's been abusive, he'll probably clock onto this. And you don't want to enrage him any further, his calmness is on a tight rope.
- Remember! throughout this break-up that he only wishes to be with you so that he can continue abusing you. Ignore any attempts he may make at winning you over - flowers, a card, apologising a trillion times - unless you want to be stuck in this horrible, fearful relationship forever, it's MANDATORY THAT YOU REMEMBER HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU, he only loves what HE CAN GET FROM YOU!!
- Once you've told him you no longer want to be with him, leave. Don't listen to his speech. If he begins to get aggressive, your friend will be there to ward him off. Make sure you continue to leave the area, get into your car with your friend, and leave. No more conversation with him.
- DO NOT TELL HIM WHERE YOU ARE GOING. and MAKE SURE no one in your family does. Stay somewhere with other people, don't go somewhere alone, ideally. If this isn't possible, make sure you're either in a hotel he is not familiar with and that you check-in under a fake name [pseudonym - so that he can't come in and ask if you are here.]
- If it is not possible to stay at a hotel, considering your lack of funds, find out about the nearest Woman's Shelter, these are free for you bunk in and come with accomodation and protection.
- Now, onto the issue of collecting your belongings. ALWAYS, ALWAYS make sure you do not go alone, bring 2, 3 or even 4 friends or family to come and help you retrieve your belongings. If possible, don't go at all, send your friends or family round to get your things. This way you won't have to see or hear your abuser speak.
- Then we have the issue of children. It is a probability that you're abuser is not the best of fathers, this means you must take your children with you. I know this isn't as easy as I am making out, but it is important. If you have more than 2 children, call your family/friends to help take care of them, I'm 100% sure they will be willing. If you're going to have to take your children with you, on the odd possibility that your family are unable to help take care of them, then take them to wherever you're staying and tell them, openly and clearly, what is happening. The last thing you want is for your children to be confused, most probably they will be aware of the abuse and thank you for saving them. If they attend school, and you are worried about their safety to and from it, then perhaps you could organise for them to walk or be driven to school with another classmate and another parent. When coming from school, you could organise for them to go home with another child, each day of the week with the easiness and safety of you picking them up from there, or of the classmates parent to drop them home.
- If you have no income, then try your best to obtain some. For example, working in a corner store - anything. You must have income and money to survive, if your abuser has any shred of humanity, they will be concerned of their children's wellbeing and send money; although this is very unlikely. I know it will be hard to gain a stable income, but it's very important for both you and your childrens lives that you can provide for yourself and them. If you have problems with getting a job, call a job center that will help you with getting a job, receive benefit and help from the state - or even result to selling un-needed posessions on eBay [anything to get money!], but of course, please don't turn to prostitution [as little as I know of your struggle, I know a lot about prostitution and the lives women lead - so if this is the only alternative for income and being able to survive, you must not result to it and continue to search for work. If this search is taking too long and you are out of money, begin to talk to your family - ask them for help!, contact your child's school [the school will be involved with the child protection programme and it is within their right to become part of the process to give your child a healthier upbringing]. Or, if worst is worse; as painful as this may be, give your child up for adoption, although this is a far-stretch for what will make you happy, you and the child may be better off.
- If your abuser is continuing to contact you via email, phone, mail etc, make sure to change your email address, phone number and whatever else he can reach you through.
- If the abuser is continually pestering you, in an aggressive or manipulative way, get the police involved to keep track of what is going on. They can be on tap if your abuser is becoming threatening, do not hesitate to call them for help!
- And in time, you will be free of this abuser and able to live a happy, fulfilling, safe life.
If none of this is helpful, please let me know.
I don't mean to assume your situation, or tone it down because I realise it is incredibly hard to leave and start anew by yourself [or with children] if you have no or little resources to survive and an abusive person is on your back = making you scared and vulnerable. It's fundamental that you remember you are not deserving of abuse! Albeit if you have to search and search for work and live with your parents or friends for a while, or if you have to sell your favorite posessions etc, if you want to get out alive [which I know you do] you will unfortunately and unfairly have to make sacrifices. Your life is precious, and you don't deserve to be hurt!
There is a light at the end of the tunnel!
All the best of luck and all the hope and love in the world,
Dr. A
Answer: c'mon girl! Apparently he's not so comfortable with his new "lovey-dovey" life. And calling you takes his mind off his new preassures and lets him to relax remembering how comfortable he was with you. Call him and just ask if he wants to talk about anything on his mind. Keep it casual, eventually he'll spill the beans!
What if your girlfriend wants to break up with you because of your actions?
A: You move on.
B: DON'T try to CHANGE the PAST, but try to be BETTER in the PRESENT.
C: Appologize, but do not repeat mistakes.
"An error does not become a mistake, until you refuse to correct it."
Why does your ex narcissist spy on you?
It pisses off the N if you move on and are fine without him. He wants you to be miserable without him.
In order to test the waters. Remember you are an object, not a real person who is entitled to their privacy. You (the object) will always be an extension of the narcissist in the N's mind, so they feel it is their right to keep tabs on you for years, if need be. It also contributes toward the feeling that N's think they are omnipotent and omniscience. It may also be that they have no new NSS on the horizon and cling to old NSS for dear life.
Want to mess with your spying N? Purposely give out fraudulent info to throw them off your scent.
My N (my step-father) who I ran as fast as I could from when I was old enough would track me down and call me and act like I was his best friend. Totally weird (considering how mean he was to me at home) and WRONG (nature of the phone call, usually sexual)!! I'm sure you can figure out why I ran and never looked back.
Yes, first posting was correct! He wants you to be miserable, mine really got off on that! We have been split up a year now and i used to call him only to be rejected and hurt more, yet I could tell he loved it and was getting off on it. I decided to never call him again and I moved house (he couldn't use my landline) even though he never actually called me when we were over, he knew me well enough to know I would! Once i had stopped about 2months he would ring me on his mobile at my shop and leave his phone on so i could hear him talking to his sister and hubby about his 'great achievements' another time just banging on the phone and the third time just silence. Trying to make out his phone must have been unlocked and dialled me, and that happened 3 times in 3 weeks! I didnt talk to him by the way or phone him back (which im sure was the reason of his little exercise). Bottom line of this is I m not worth spying on, he's not interested to, however he does want to remind me he is still out there a kind of 'yep its me, do'NT forget me, i want to know you cant cope and hurt you and i do miss that'. all your ex narc will be interested in is hoping you are not coping without him and he is just looking for clues!
Can someone post the lyrics to let the feelings go by annagrace?
Please remove if this is a copyright infringement ...
The lyrics are
Even when your heart is aching
Even when the clouds are fading
I won't let u down
I will be around
You gotta let it go
Let the feelings grow
Don't need to run away
You gotta understand
I'll be here till the end
I'm here to stay
Chorus (2X)
Let the feelings go
Let the feelings go
When the music starts
Cuz it feeds your soul
When the moon is bright
Then the feeling's right
Deep in your soul
Even when your heart is aching
Even when the clouds are fading
I won't let u down
I will be around
You gotta let it go
Let the feelings grow
Don't need to run away
You gotta understand
I'll be here till the end
I'm here to stay
Repeat(4X)
Oh…
Uhhh…
Chorus (REPEAT 4X)
Let the feelings go
Let the feelings go
When the music starts
Cuz it feeds your soul
When the moon is bright
Then the feeling's right
Deep in your soul
Oh…
Uhhh…
What does flex in on your ex mean?
To "flex" is a slang - meaning to strut, or physically show off something - usually the body. "Flex in on your ex" suggests that whoever this is said about intends to do this to you ex partner (e.g. I am going to flex in on your ex, he is going to flex in on your ex, she is..., they are..., etc). Basically - that the person who is going to flex is going to make a move on your ex.
What if your ex has a partner but he also wants you back what should you do?
It really depends on what happened for the break-up to happen. If you broke up with him cause you felt like it and you thought he was the love of your life, you should take him back. But if he broke up with you for some other girl and still wants you back then say "No I have moved on." and walk away. Same thing goes with the girl. Well either way you should always give him/her a reason why they want you back.
How do you tell an ex you like yhem?
Be honest and just come out and tell them the truth what do you have to lose
it may mean that even though he left you he wants to stay on friendly terms. It may also mean that he's using you for his own gratification either way just tell him your'e not interested and move on. explain to him that you loved him once but he broke your heart and even though you've forgiven him you want to move on with your life.
Why does he blame you for his behavior?
There are many reasons why he blames you for his behavior. He probably just cannot deal with the fact he is wrong.
How do I get back my exboyfriend if he is in another girl's arms?
Tell him you want him back and if he doesn't want you after that then find someone else.
I think the question here that should be answered first is 'Do you adore your husband in the same way he adores you?' If you do then under no circumstances meet your ex. If you don't adore him, then be prepared for whatever can of worms you will be opening if you do meet your ex!!! Maybe you think the grass is greener - don't go looking for trouble unless you are prepared for the consequences....It doesn't sound like you don't love your ex from this question!
it doesnt matter...if he broke up with you in the first place, then you are not meant to be. If he really loved you and wanted to be commited to you then he would have not broken up with you in the first place and you guys would get along better. Move on!
AnswerI don't want to be negative but maybe he loved her since way back..However, you can tell him that he is being mean by telling you how much he loves this new girl. That's just not right!!You can talk to him about your feelings.Or give him a taste of his own medicine. Find a guy go out with him and do the same. Tell him how much you love this new guy and see how he feels. If he doesnt care then move on.. He isn't worth it. Live your life. Bigger love is waiting for you somewhere. Enjoy your life.Well, what I would do is talk to both the girlfriend and him explaining all you want is to be friends that spend time with each other and talk. Nothing more. If she still insidts on not trusting you, confront her and tell her, "I'm sorry you cannot trust me, but I would like to continue the relationship with my ex as a friend. I'm sorry you feel differently."
Could a man who is in love with his ex but say he wants to love me keep the relationship going?
Almost every man is still in love with his ex to some degree. They had something that they probably won't ever forget, and it would have included some good times, even if there were plenty of bad bits.
This is especially true if they recently broke up, or if the relationship was very long or important to them. If this is the case, give him time to get over her. Be there for him, and be a friend, but don't be the rebound cushion. Keep enough distance for now.
If you love him, and he loves you, then there is no reason why you can't try to make it work in the future, once his feelings for the ex have subsided and his feelings for you get stronger. Your presence will make both processes happen a lot quicker too.
Just be there and wait. It'll work out if you both want it to.
Should you call a guy even if you haven't talked to him in 4 months?
if he is a good friend call him and say srry you havent been calling. if he isn't really a good guy and you barely talk to him in person then no you shouldn't
