Cheating

So what? Girl honestly. You're during the same thing right now. If he's talked bad about you its for comfort and validation. Same thing you looking for. Either you let him go or let it go knowing who you truly are. That's all you can do. As much as i would like to say dump him. I wont. Cause i dont advice people things. I only give them SOMETHING to think about based off my experience. What yo dude did. I did to my ex and everyone sided with me. Cause they know the truth about him even if he makes you out the bad guy. And not to mention there are things about him you don't know. As far as him calling you crazy. So what!! Thats the first thing men are ready to holler when they screwed up. Other than facing the fact they brought out those reactions and that they are responsible for everything you question in them as you are the same.

Let him run to his friends. But if he cant be honest with you. He's fake. Simple. Either you accept he's fake and rub it in his face, or not. Or simply call him out on it and keep moving. I talked mess about my ex but at the same time i told him to his face. About every single feeling. However he was secretive and honestly maybe a free spirit ( you all know what i mean by that). I didn't trust him. And being a women who also been called crazy. I didn't trust myself. Cause he provoked me. In many ways. But what i learned. If he lack communication. Giving him complete silence is a thing that hurts... They dont know what to expect or how to respond. And if he think YOU crazy. Just see how he'll react if he truly loves you. Call it mind games or call it the game. All i know is. What his friends think of me is not my concern. What he thinks of me might be. But if he's not willing to open up. Its simple reasons why. He know he provokes you, he know something you dont, he recognizes your worth as a women to him, his insecurities, and or he simply playing a game. Basically he's getting something usefull out of you... And honestly if it's sex you can shut it down cause it has a mental tole anyone. But if you can move pass it. Do so without being emotionally involved. This the world we live in sadly. And it may or may not be clear to us. But what it is. You can control or exclude. They say crazy women give the best sex. So he call you crazy but not letting go. Guess what?. You is to your advantage. Then you'll see. If all those things he say is true and if so you'll see your leverage

Short of murder (I don't highly recommend this LOL) there isn't much you can do because it's your husband's choice to see her, and it's his butt you should be kicking and not hers. He's a jerk and is non-caring about what he is putting you through and how you feel. Kick the slug right out that door! There are other men out there that would treat you far better and the way you should be treated. The harder we fight between the husband and the mistress the closer together it brings them.

I was married before to an abusive husband. I caught him cheating with two women at one time! Although they were not in the throws of sexual embrace and I caught them cozied up in a popular pub, nonetheless I caught them. I confronted him right there and then and when he said, "What the hell are you doing here, get home and iron" I am ashamed to say I lost it! I am 5'6" tall and 130 lbs., and I never knew I had the physical strength I did. I picked up that heavy round table he was sitting at with those two grinning idiots he had picked up and held it in the air and dumped every single glass and pitcher of beer on all of them! Even the bouncer of the pub said, "No way am I going to get in between that one!" I went home, locked the doors and refused to let him in. He had to move in with his mother (that should have told me a lot right there.) Although this wasn't my usual style of dealing with a problem I have to say, it sure felt good! Later, I filed for divorce. I've since met a wonderful man and we've been married 33 years.

Kick this guy as far as you can. Don't lower yourself by trying to get to the woman. That's what she wants! She wants you to retaliate so she can cunningly go whining to your husband and tell him how terrible you are to her. This only reinforces all his lies as to why he's left you.

NO MAN OR WOMAN IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR WHEN THEY CHEAT!

Good luck Marcy

ANSWER:

Wow I wish I did, but Im afraid the man I married might get mad and disappointed if I lay my hands on her, after all he has deep feelings for her and she is such a good Christian woman.

No.

Getting involved with a married man is selfish on both the married man and whoever he cheats with parts. The married man is being selfish because instead of working on improving his marriage he is risking it all to be with someone else. Remember, honesty is the best policy. Also, the person he is getting involved with shares the fault. Nobody should ever cause the pain that affairs do. People need to stop thinking only of their selfish wants and remember that a married couple includes two, living beating hearts that are capable of feeling pain and embarrassment.

It is very wrong to get involved with any married person unless you are the person that he or she is married to.

It also depends on the relationship between the man and his wife, and your desires in the relationship.

If you desire a long term relationship then you may wish to evaluate his current actions (being married and having an outside relationship) and consider if that is acceptable to you, either as a long term girlfriend or as a possible future wife.

Since you believe that he willing to go outside this marriage, it is certainly possible that he would go outside his next marriage too.

• Marriage counseling is a good thing because the counselor is not their to blame either spouse, but to give the tools so they can gain good communication skills; learn how to react to certain problems in the marriage. Example: If one or both partners just argue about a problem and yell at each other the counselor will give them tools as to how to sit down calmly and listen to each other and come to an amicable agreement. Marriage is about respect.

Because you love yourself more than you live your partner.... cheating is an unrivalled display of selfishness.

The wife or widow of an Earl is called a Countess, as is the wife or widow of a Count.

Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary 7th Edition.

We normally talk about girls and girls and girls. once in awhile we will talk about school or sports but usually its our fantasies about girls in our grade our just girls anywhere. Airsoft, electronics, movies and music . oh yeah and girls

Being faithful is a decision a man must make on a daily basis. While today's society makes it significantly more difficult to be faithful, it '''can''' be done. This may depend, though, on your definition of "faithful," which has also been mutated by society. If you demand that a man never even look at another woman, then you're out of luck ... it probably will never happen. A man looking at a woman, though, does not mean, necessarily, that the man is unfaithful, or the woman is imperfect. Men are visually cued. That doesn't mean, though, that a man must carry through with his thoughts, or whatever thoughts you may think he's having. If they don't live in California or New York, it's quite common. The image portrayed by Hollywood says no, but there are many men and women who are faithful for their entire lives.

Sometimes.

Depends. I'd say mostly on the victims state. If they have constantly backed down and forgave the abuser, chances are the abuser will come back and try to suck them in, ya know, being sick enough to take advantage of a vulnerable person or of a particular vulnerable quality.

However, if the victim started standing up and confronting the abuser, showing signs of independence and that they aren't going to thke the abuser's crap, then more than likely the abuser won't come back, because they view it as a threat.

Only if they can regain CONTROL. Show them that they can't control you and they will regroup and find their next victim. Of course they will have already tried every trick in their bag up to this point. It's just like a drug user that can no longer get their drug from the same source. They will scramble in vain to find the next source. CONTROL is the drug of an abuser - their lifeline of existence.

In my experience, YES.

BUT I imagine if there wasn't a pay-off or reward on their return (ie contact, forgiveness, honeymoon period etc) and, instead, a calm, CONSISTENT "NO" to their approaches (followed up by police intervention if need be), they would back off.

However, I think much depends on the person you are dealing with in terms of how persistent they are in returning.

Police, a restraining order and police called to my home subsequent to my obtaining a restraining order DID NOT deter the man I was involved with -- he was on my doorstep 10 days after I obtained a restraining order.

However, I was also the fool that kept taking him in and listening to empty promises (counselling etc).

Nonetheless, it's disturbing that he would ignore the law and probably even more disturbing that despite all, I would take him back rather than contact the authorities while he pathetically pleaded at my door.

But, I loved him or had some kind of emotional bond, so I found it extremely difficult to follow through further with intervention and found myself relying on hope that "this time" things would be different.

I wouldn't wish this nightmare on anyone.

In my experience, yes. My abuser neglected a school suspension to come to school and try to get me back. He also violated a letter of harassment to yell at me in the hallway, several times and now has community service as a result. So basically, whatever restraints are put in place, he violates and then waits a bit til more restraints are administered, and violates them too.

I think though, that it really depends on the person. I've only actually called him out once to talk to him, which I shouldn't have done. It's better to avoid, avoid, avoid. And hopefully, they'll eventually go away. Though I haven't gotten that far yet, so I really don't know.

Yes!

Stalkers and the Borderline Personality

The Borderline Personality

In recent years psychologists have learned about and done case studies on a new personality disorder which the DSM-III-R classifies as an Axis II disorder- the Borderline Personality . This classification includes such personality disorders as the Anti-social Personality, the Histrionic Personality and the Narcissistic Personality. Several psychologists (including myself) diagonosed my stalker as afflicted with the Borderline Personality. Characteristic of the Borderline (derived from research done by Kreisman & Straus, 1989) are:

a shaky sense of identity

sudden, violent outbursts

oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection

brief, turbulent love affairs

frequent periods of intense depression

eating disorders, drug abuse, and other self-destructive tendencies

an irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone

Not much research has been done on the Borderline Personality, and for many years it was difficult to diagnose- and to treat. A Borderline often feels as though his/her life is marked with a distinctive emptiness; a void in which a relationship often acts to fill. Many times the Borderline is a victim of an early dysfunctional family situation and/or emotional/physical abuse by those he/she trusted early on in childhood.

The Borderline is psychotic , in the original, psychological meaning of the term: he/she is not in control and not in touch with reality. To the Borderline, a softly spoken word of advice can be construed as a threat on his/her emotional stability. An outsider's viewpoint that the Borderline is not in touch with reality often ends in a bitter and irrational dissassociation from the outsider on the part of the Borderline. Often, the Borderline ends up very much alone and victim to his/her disillusions.

The Borderline stalker is very apt to see his/her actions as perfectly justified; he/she has paranoid disillusions which support these-often with disturbing frequency. The Borderline often has brief love affairs which end abruptly, turbulently and leave the Borderline with enhanced feelings of self-hatred, self-doubt and a fear that is not often experienced by rational people. When the Borderline's relationships turn sour, the Borderline often begins to, at first, harass the estranged partner with unnecessary apologies and/or apologetic behavior (i.e. letters of apology 'from the heart', flowers delivered at one's place of employment, early morning weeping phonecalls, etc.). However, the Borderline does not construe his/her behavior as harassment- to the Borderline he/she is being 'responsible' for his/her past behaviors.

The next phase of the Borderline Personality develops relatively quickly and soon he/she feels suddenly betrayed, hurt, etc. and seeks to victimize the estranged partner in any way he/she can Strangely enough, this deleterious behavior is always coupled with a need to be near or in constant contact with the estranged partner . While sending threats to the estranged partner, it is very common for the Borderline to begin to stalk his/her estranged partner in an effort to maintain contact. This effort is motivated by the excruciating fear that the Borderline will end up alone and anger that [the estranged partner] has put him/her in this position. We are finding, in many cases, that a great deal of stalking behavior is associated with Borderline or related personality disorders. Earlier research did not incorporate the Borderline Personality in stalking profiles; research now is beginning to focus on the Borderline in such disorders as Erotomania, etc.

• The statistics for a married man leaving his wife for his mistress is extremely low. Most married men either will lose too much by leaving their wives; embarrassing any children they may have or, some men just want the attention their mistress gives them as well as a new sexual relationship and eventually some cheat on their mistress as well; these type of men do not like to be tied down to one woman and may have several women on the string.

"With who? Why would i wanna be with anybody else than you right now anyways?"

"Why would you ask me that? How do I know you're not cheating on me!"

Ask your parents or friends for help.

Get more answers from Wiki...

That's generally Elementary School reactions by boys or girls. Not actually hurting the person, but a light punch on the arm, perhaps going 'ugh .. get away from me.' Kids of this age don't know about love, but they do know when they are attracted to someone so, some boys or girls that are shy will lightly hit or shove or make a remark to that person as if they don't really like them. If you are in high school, college or older, then hitting is not acceptable in any case. A fun shove is OK if you are joking with a friend or a partner, but no hitting!

You know because he is always there for you and calls you beautiful instead of hot and makes you the number one person in his life thats true love

ANSWER:

It depends on how bad the betrayed spouse was hurt. Most of the divorce couples who end up into divorce end up having a hard time starting all over again. But for those who divorce because of the affairs, the spouse who did the wrong will end up regretting what happen. Some will continued fooling around to prove that he or she can still attract the opposite sex.

Answer

If you marry a man you had an affair with, you'd be crazy and here's why. If he was married and was having an affair with you what's to stop him from marrying you and having an affair behind your back? I wouldn't trust a guy like that if he gave me the moon.

ANSWER:

It depends on the individual, but if he marry the woman he had the affair with the woman will start asking herself if she can trust him. After all this man did betrayed his wife before, so how can she be sure if he will be devoted to her.

• If the mistress belongs to someone in that family she should apologize to the family. If she is not a member of that family then it is 100% up to the husband to apologize. For you to put the blame on him is weak and you are in denial. You could have said a simple 'no.'
  
• No you shouldn't apologize to his family that's his job he's the one who screwed it up now he'll have to fix it! I know what you mean when you said the husband started the affair because the same thing happened to me except i didn't have to apologize to his family. The husbands or their wife will try to put all the blame on the mistress but guess what it takes two to tango. If you would like to talk feel free to contact me.

Behaving Different.

If he/she has a lot of unexpected or sudden events or appointments.

If he/she seems distant.

If he/she doesn't include you in their world as much as they once did.

If he/she is conveniently unreachable when they're away.

Watch the movie, Unfaithful, and see how her behavior changes. It's perfect!

To determine if your spouse may be cheating, look for signs such as changes in behavior, increased secrecy with their phone or computer, or unexplained absences. Pay attention to emotional distance or shifts in intimacy, as these can also indicate issues in the relationship. Trust your instincts, and consider having an open and honest conversation with your spouse about your concerns. If needed, seeking the help of a professional, like a therapist, can provide additional support.

The best way is to find a new boy friend.

Some times this answer does not apply to everyone.

Because,

Some boys cheat and some boys just make fun with other girls but they love only one girl in their life that may be you.!

Try this-----

1. If he cheated? you also cheat him.

2. If he slaps you? then you also slap him.

3. That's it. But don't leave him. hold his hand tightly and say "I love you so much please don't leave me alone"" and say sorry to all your mistakes.

He may change his behaviour if he loves you so much.

Of course no one can obey the third trial because we all have ego. Right?

If you want LOVE then leave your EGO but not your HEART and LOVE on your LOVER.

Another answer: If he is cheating, he doesn't care. End it with dignity and leave him to grow up.

• When a spouse cheats and the other spouse misses the signs that he is having an affair it is because the wife feels she knows her husband well and trusts him as she should because both took vows when they got married. Although the signs of her husband having an affair may be quite clear many wives prefer to ignore them. Some of those signs are: the husband saying he has to work late several times a week; if he travels in his job he may get two tickets to wherever he is going and the extra ticket is for his mistress; lying about phone numbers you do not recognize on his cell; phone calls coming to your home and then someone hanging up or your husband secretly talking to the woman behind your back; perhaps the smell of perfume; the husband fakes being tired instead of having a sexual relationship with his wife; if the woman he is having an affair with is a friend of the couples his actions often give him away because he may well be looking at his mistress and she is looking at him.

Guys always have thoughts of sex but only he can answer if he actually likes you or if he may be just using you for sex.

drop him of at a foster home

Quite simple love, she's probably scared and feeling awkward because she didn't realize and expect that you know or even have her cell number. Now all hell break loose, ( excuse my language) and I bet that your husband probably know already what you have done. If he comes home, be calm act like nothing is going on, then wait if his going to talk to you or not. Just know that his mistress already told your husband what you sent to her. Don't let him manipulate you by telling you that he made a mistakes. Good luck..

Do NOT get married to the military.

I would say its 99% of them time.

I dont care who you are and how much your think your marriage is different from everyone else's. ITS NOT. I am speaking from experience.

I would also say its high, I don't know about 99% but I would say 95% of them cheat. I'm very rare when it comes to the Army, I've never cheated and never will, but almost every single person I know has cheated on there significant other.