Breakups

First off, if it is not really a relationship then what are you ending. Second is sounds like this guy is keeping you around for his own gratification and ego. Third, why are you being a door mat to some guy who doesnt seem interested? Dont you think you deserve to live a life with someone that cares about you and has respect for you. Well, if you don't, Im telling you that you do. There are many great guys out there that are looking for a smart, beautiful girl that has what you have to enjoy their days/nights with and will treat you like a queen.. Do yourself a favor and don't worry about getting him mad, just come out with the truth and stick to it and hold your head up. Say,"Listen, I don't know exactly what it is that we have here but I need to move on with my life and not be kept on hold, so after today, unless I call you or you have a emergency that I can help you with, this is over. If he gets mad, then too bad and tell him" You can get as mad as you want, I have the right to be happy and this isn't cutting it....See Ya...

Dont believe any of it. From my guess he did something wrong and because you might force it upon them to say that the only way of saying I LOVE YOU is by doing something wrong maybe the love is not true.

I had 2 friends as a teenager that went through break ups and felt like killing themselves. One is now happily married to a man that is kind and handsome. The other did end her life and the boy that had liked her all through their friendship cried the second he had heard her knews. He blamed himself for believing she would reject him when she liked him too. He truly loved her and she made that mistake. Her ex boyfriend hardly teared up and it shows what she had and what was to come. Don't do it. For the sake of you your friends, and that special someone that will drift in soon.

it means they don't like you anymore..

yes, yes they do, if both parties make an effort.

just move on and forget about him! If he was never yours he was never worth it.

Only you can decide whether or not you should forgive someone for breaking your heart. Forgiving someone can be difficult, but it can also be healing.

It means she's not commited to you but she wants DA D!!

They dont show you the attention you deserve, and would rather be with someone else than you.

pressure her make sure she makes one dicession

He will still feel feelings for you but says he just wants to be friends and that's what friends do .Right?

Baffled.

one billion people.

If you keep being overbearing with this you are just pushing him away. Accept that talking about feelings for guys is uncomfortable and allow him to express his feelings for you when and if he wants to - he may express them without words also. If you keep bothering him with this it could cause more problems or even the end of your relationship. If you want to continue to be with him accept him and be happy in your relationship and try not to be so overbearing with feelings as men are not the "mushy" types and most times just want to be with you without always having to express themselves. It makes you seem very needy and that can be a total turn off for guys.

Don't worry, I've been in that same situation before. Okay, what I did was that I told him that I only liked him instead of just loving him. He was sad a little bit but he was actually okay with it and understood what I was going through. We talked about breaking up and I felt bad. So we just took a break and then through out that time...I actually missed him and ventually wanted to be with him again. So I talked to him about it and we got back together. Now we've been goin out for about 2 months and I've never been happier. So basically what I'm saying is to just tell him and talk about how you feel and then talk about what you guys are going to do after that. Because who knows, maybe you may actually like the guy back while you two are together. It's just like the saying, "You don't know what you have until it's gone." So just talk to him about it and I hope that you two will work things out. :)

Have them sit down with you to talk about it, ask them what's bothering them about it, and if you can do anything to help them.

Tell them that him/her wasn't meant to be with them, and to have a positive look on a new start with a new partner. Nearly everyone has to go through several relationships to find the right partner, but they will eventually find one that will love them forever, live with them until the end, and hold their hand through the tough times. There's always someone out there who is perfect for you, so not to worry; you'll find the perfect match eventually, keep trying, and never give up.

Well im not lesbian but i might be able to help.

If you have done something like cheated on her then you can't get her back. If you were just an absolute moron then there is a way to possibly get her back.

You need to remind her what it is like to be with you.

Help her find the old you that she loved.

Sweep her off her feet and make her feel good about herself.

That's all the advice i can give you really.

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I guess it's possible where you can be together and he doesn't make a move. So why didn't you? Some men are just shy, or he could just consider you his friend. The best way to find this out is to have asked him out on a date. It's possible for opposite sexes to be friends. I have several. Sometimes it's easy to just know you are friends, and sometimes it isn't. If you are in a sexual relationship then some men will tell you anything to have sex with you. I left a post awhile back pertaining to this sort of thing. Just because you go to bed with a person does not mean they love you. Sex is an urge in all of us and it can be nothing more than that, so we have to be on our toes. Sometimes men date young women who aren't ready for sex, and although they may love that young woman, they "gotta have it" and thus, they may go out and get it from someone else. If you are (not accusing you) going to bed with him, then I am sorry to say he does not respect you and has proved that by dating another. If you haven't gone to bed together, then wait it out and see where his relationship is going with this other girl. It could be nothing serious, and if he ever stops dating her, then you ask him out. Good luck Marcy

Yes

give it another try.... but if you have hatred simply through him to the curb....

It literally means "I don't care."

He's probably messing with you. How exactly did you two break up? Take that in account in contrast to his actions now. Maybe he wants you back just because you've moved on. People like that feeling of self-satisfaction when someone likes them, regardless of whether the feelings are mutual, and something begin to show interest only when the attention is taken away from them. Confront him about this and whether you want to ignore him or give him a second chance is up to you.

Taylor Lee from Tallahassee, FL!

My lovely 'narcissist' had an extremely annoying habit of not apologizing or contacting me whenever there was any disagreement or arguement. Because of his behavior, I would opt to leave but he would try to 'block me' (pushing his puffed up chest against me like a gorilla). My leaving was also accompanied by angry rage, shouts of 'I don't care about your feelings', 'you've already been replaced', I'm going to see ____ (so and so - fill in the blank: an old girfriend he slept with whose back in his circle of friends - newly divorced - of course, she was married with a small child when they got it on before in their 20's, etc.).

There never was a halfway-sane or humane disagreement: It always had to turn into a nasty event with him mouthing off (and leaving me increasingly dissatistifed and doubtful of our future). But, for reasons I couldn't explain, I always returned: I was so bothered my no contact and had such withdrawl (wanting to again be 'validated' by him, needy...) that I called. He was almost always 'nice' and 'giving' when I called him back. This usually lead to , 'well, I'll call you tomorrow?' 'Let's start slow again' 'I miss you', etc. I've recently figured out this is a 'trauma/betrayal bond' from my past revisiting me: I was trying to get it right with my parents this time around: Playing the 'martyr' and being as absolutely understanding as possible, thinking this time I could 'get it right'. Well, being nice to him only caused him to lose respect for me and treat me like dirt! But, I'm not the type to play his charades anyway. He'll have to get someone else for that!

He always insisted he was monogamous, but his constant jealousy of me (totally unfounded) and his references to sleeping with various women whenever he didn't like anything I said or brought up, makes me really wonder if he wasn't doing things on the side. Perhaps sexual, perhaps not. He LOVED to tease women: At first, we had an amazing chemistry - then, he began to withdraw and become very dissinterested in any kind of sexual or romantic contact. We discussed it, scheduled 'special times' (which he ALWAYS seemed to destroy with an outburst!). Eventually, I got sick and tired of it. He claimed to his AA group that we were 'married' as a front and I'm sure was superficially friendly to women he know had interest, only to constantly tease them with his 'I'm married....' BS. And, he liked to let ME know that so and so said this or expressed this or that kind of interest. He even stated that an aide for an elderly customer he worked in the building of would prefer me 'dead' (of course - JOKINGLY. I SHOULDN'T TAKE THINGS SO LITERALLY - HE WAS JOKING!!! lol) because she has serious, long term yearning for him. What a prick. No other word fits him quite abptly...

I love to dance: He didn't want me dancing with 'any other man' or even with him (he 'hates crowds' and the 'loud music'). He tried to bully me (and make me feel guilty) about going to a beautiful, outdoor Swing Night with my alumni group one night in July. I got sick of his old routine and simply, calmly stated 'I can't dance with you or without you. I'm not going to listen to this anymore. Goodbye'. And hung up. He called back twice (almost surely loud, angry messages threatening infidelity, etc.) and I just deleted the voicemails. I didn't contact him and he made no effort to contact me - all summer long (three months).

So, if he's leaving you alone - He most likely has other 'sources' (perhaps the always-there secondaries - like my ex's old girlfriends that he felt so 'sorry for' because they were both bipolar and on meds...). He knew when I started questioning and asking where the relationship was taking us. He knew the moment I would not tolerate the crap he kept dishing and would not (like 'everyone else he knows' supposedly) accept a simple 'I'm sorry' (didn't happen all the time anyway) and shrug my shoulders because 'I know that's just how he is'. DON'T CONTACT HIM - Keep working on YOURSELF. FIND OUT THE REASONS YOU ARE JEALOUS (i WAS DEEPLY AFRAID OF ABANDONMENT - that 'terror bond' that he used so skillfully kept me returning!!!! and work through them so you NEVER get yourself into this kind of situation again!!!!!! hugs - me (I'm a survivor! )

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