Grief Loss and Bereavement

First forgive others. Meditate and if the person you hurt forgives you try to understand that it is fine. Everything will be right. If you believe that God has forgiven you and so has the other person then it shouldn't be so hard to forgive yourself. We are only humans. We make mistakes all the time. But if we take that mistake and learn from them then everything gets better. Not trying to make an excuse to any bad behavior, but we can't help that things don't go as planned all the time. We need to learn to let somethings go. Let go and let God. When everybody learns to do that this planet will be in a lot better shape than it is now.

Clonazepam (Klonipin), like most benzodiazepams, is not very lethal at all. While human LD50's are indeterminate, the rat LD50 is around 4000mg/kg. Extrapolating that up for humans indicates a huge amount.

The initial dosage of clonazepam is around 1.5mg TID (three times a day), so anything over this is technically an overdose, although it most likely will just make you sleepy. But the amount required for an acute, lethal overdose is undetermined.

In my personal opinion, "Panic Away" is the best program for most people who have panic attacks and general anxiety.

Grieving involves coming to terms with the loss of something a person holds as important or special. Although grieving is mostly associated with the loss of someone who dies people also grieve when for example a relationship ends because their partner leaves or where a parent disowns a child and vice-versa. A good example of this is a question posted on this very forum under bereavement about how to deal with a broken engagement.

Everybody deals with grieving differently and the best way is to take ones time, be surrounded by positive people and take each day as it comes and finding reasons to be strong and understand that some things will happen outside of ones control.

'Grieving' is the word you are looking for.

Yes.

Dreams about loved ones who have passed away are entirely normal, particularly while you are mourning or feeling lonely. Such dreams reflect your own love and grief. Usually, they do not tell you anything about the deceased or mean that that dead are trying to contact you.

"How does society control emotions and what are some examples?" Dear friend, If you asked people what they thought about Mc Donalds. If you asked them what thought came to mind when they thought of Mc Donalds here is what some of them might say: "I think of children and think of Joy and I think of children playing, and baby's and happiness, and laughter. You may even hear people say that Mc Donalds reminds them of Innocence. Almost like Santa Clause. Mc Donald is a man who dresses up in a red suit and is full of laughter; he is a clown, which would signify children. Why would restaurants have feelings? Society controls our emotions by advertising things they know we will like. If McDonalds didn't have a clown, or toys to give out to children or even on the ocasion a jungle gym to play in. Do you think that parents would bring there children there? They control our emotions by advertising the things they know we like in order to make money. Our feelings are all controlled to make money in some way or another. Or in some ways they create advertissements for things they know parents will like because it keeps there children busy. This can result in bad and good situations, what would mcdonalds be if it didn't have a feeling or a mood to go with it? If you would like another example dont hesitate to say so:) GIRA

To console someone listen to the person, let the person cry, don't interrupt the person, give him or her a hug if you were close prior to the person's loss. Give him or her a smile and nod silently to let them know you understand and verbally tell the person you are available for talking, listening or getting the person out of the house or taking him or her to someplace special or the grave site if there is one.

Give the person a nice card that says you will ready to talk and give the person your phone number and offer to help with difficult tasks, then follow through on your offer.

Let the person know what you will miss about the deceased person. Tell the person you wish he or she was still here.

Avoid these cliche lines:

I am so sorry for your loss.

He or she was such a good person.

You will get over this with time. Ugh most grievers want to slug the person who says this.

It will be all right.

You are better off or He or She is better off.

Don't feel bad, He or she is in a better place now.

Things will get better.

That was a wonderful funeral.

It is better to tell the griever you care about them and are wanting to help them and that you will miss the deceased person. If you are a believer pray for the person too.

because they have known u for a long time so they want to see other people but they still love u in their heart

1. Denial and isolation (denying the loss and social withdraw)
2. Anger (resentment to the inflicter even if deceased, or the world or oneself)
3. Bargaining (negotiating with God to do something so the pain will go away)
4. Depression (feeling indifferent and unresponsive even though anger and sadness is felt deep within)
5. Acceptance (when anger, sadness & mourning have passed, one finally accepts the reality of the loss)

This is a typical narcisstic behaviour. I have been there too! I am also a Doctor (he is too), we work for the same institution. He was in and out in the relationship ( he did not want to call it a relationship) he would swing from being nice (I would not call it loving) to being mean, rude, and disrespectful. Examples: he would give me the joke of "let's be friends with benefits". He also said that the reason he did not want to show affection, it was because women get spoilled. Each time I tried to get closer he pushed me away, then accused me of not kwoing how to be in a relation. He wanted to control all aspects of my life. He called me the woman "I want to possess". yet I had no saying on what he did, where and how he spent his weekends (when he desappeared he prefered to communicate through text messages). We did not spend vacations together. He was off to visit his "ex". When I asked why we were not spending evening or week ends together, he said he needed his privacy. I was seeing him on his schedule, never on mine. He never accepted to share anything, any aspect of his life with me. I did not know he had a home phone number !! But even when I was able to see him (at his request, which was everyday) I always felt like I was annexed. He was dying to have sex with me. I waited for a considerable time because I felt he was still (very much) in touch with his (ex) wife, I had doubts. The night we had sex at his place (his way), he woke me up in the morning to ask me if I wanted to have breakfast before leaving or leave and have breakfast at my place (it was Sunday and that was my first visit to his place). He also announced that he had been trying to buy his air plane ticket (while I was sleeping) to go and visit his (ex)wife in the next few days. When we met, he said the divorce was filed. It was a lie !!It took me a year to get out of it, and it is taking me 9 other months to overcome. I was still trying to understand the nature of his relationship with his "ex" wife when I learnt about the new woman (not from him). He told me she was an old friend, he was still calling me honey and darling when he started having his affair with her (in 9 months he called me honey twice, darling once, baby once). He drags the new woman to all our professional dinners and meetings. He needs to show that he can love and be loved and that he dumped me. I cut all kinds of contacts expect when I had to be in a meeting. He tried for four months to have me back (as a friend he said). I changed my numbers, went to therapy and read all I could find to understand myself.To the person who posted this question: leave that jerk. You will have your precious self back. It is hell to leave them but hell is the only path to your survival. Take it !! Don't let him ruin you, don't try to keep him by losing your self, he will dump you anyway. It is not about you , it is about him. you said you are feeling insecure, use him to feel stronger and in control. Trash him you will feel good. It is going to be hell, but don't give him that power, take your power back. This is your chance to feel even better about yourself. He will leave you anyway, even if you stick around. He will never be there for you ! He will excell in demeaning you (he is already doing it) whey would you stay. You are a successfull woman, a doctor, it is not a joke. He does not deserve a minute of your time. Give that time to your self, your patients, give it to other women who need your help. it is Ok to Lose him but it is not OK to lose you!!!freewoman

I wrote this question, but need to vent! I don't know what to do for the best! I've been in a relationship for over a year with someone I think is of the toxic NPD variety. It's like an emotional rollercoaster and I just can't take any more of it. I'm the one who has ended up on anti-anxiety pills, yet I find it hard to walk away because I love this man. Also, I got with him just after I moved to the area - I have no family and few friends here, because he took over my life. Maybe I'm just scared of being lonely, who knows... but... the burning issue: does this sound like NPD?

He can be the most loving, caring person one minute, and the next tell me he hates me and wants me out of his life. If I say the slightest negative thing, he strops off - oh yes, he can throw tantrums to rival those of a two year old. We are both in our late thirties. I have worked hard, gone to uni and got a steady job and my own home. He still lives with his mother who caters to his every whim (and who incidentally also appears to have NPD!). He stays with me one night in the week and Sat/Sun nights. All other nights I'm meant to leave him alone to 'enjoy his time off' of me. He puts an awful lot of negative energy into telling me how much he doesn't want me and wants me to leave him, but the next day he will be declaring undying love. I get a Christmas card telling me how much he hopes we spend many more christmases together, then yesterday he was telling me how he wishes I would just disappear out of his life for good.

He swears at me a lot, calls me names, tells me I'm stupid (I'm a doctor!) and thick, and a dozy cow... tells me he can't say I look good because it will make me big-headed (I'm so not! I'm quite insecure which is why I think I put up with his rubbish). If I say the slightest negative thing (even asking to turn the tap off), he 'dumps' me, packs his bags and creates a scene about going home. If I say anything he doesn't like the sound of on the phone, he puts the phone down. he keeps telling me he wants me, then in the next breath I'm told I'm a flash in the pan and he's lost interest.

He spent a lot of time yesterday telling me how he keeps me away from all his friends because they hate me (they don't know me!) and he's scared I'll embarrass him - how i don't know. I hardly drink, am not crass and have never yet said anything to show him up.

is this all just about protecting his fragile little ego? I really just don't know what to do any more. It seems that if he comes to my house, sits for three hours with his arms folded and ignores me, I'm the one in the wrong when I want to know what's going on. I should just 'mind my own business'.

I could go on and on... but really I suppose I'm just looking for confirmation that this is typical NPD behavior, before he sends me completely over the edge and I start believing I'm the one with the problems!

____________________________________________________________ how in the world can you stay with a guy like that? He's not a man - he's a nothing! Does it really matter if he has a personality disorder distinguished by the dsm when he treats you like crap!? I don't get it at all. You've pretty much written a case against him yet you're still with him. I think you should see a therapist. He/She can help you understand yourself better and to be the strong person you are meant to be. I hope you come to realize that an abusive relationship will always disappoint you and bring you down. You should be insulted when he treats you like this! I'm sorry if i might sound insensitive but you are a young successful woman and you would throw away all the satisfaction that brings for a nothing? Life is short and you my dear are ALIVE. Live your life with joy and love unapologetically and you'll find you have no eyes for losers like that. god bless -D

yes it is npd,my boyfriend asked me to go stay with him 3 months inTulsa,Oklahoma,i live in the Netherlands,that's Europe i went,the second day we had sex,the day after he told me that he didnt feel like he was supposed to feel about me,so he said our romantic relationship was over,but hewanted me to stay ,we could be friends and i could enjoy my time there!so,i stayed,but then he begins with his push and pull games,ignoring me, when he cames back from work,he started to play games on the PC for hours,on the weekends 13 hours playng those games,i wasnt aloud to answer the phone,if he hsad aphone call and got irritated and i asked who it was, i wasnt supposed to ask anything and so went on and on,but if i said ,listen i am going back to holland he would say,see you are not getting what you wanted so you are kicking and screaming and leaving,so if you go back i wont nothing to do with you anymore!so i stayed,and the hesays to me he would be happy when i am gone,because he wants nothing to do with me,if i tried to hug him as a friend,he says friends don't do that with each other,and besides i don't like you!and a day later he would wake me up in the midle of the night and hug me!believe me i thought i was insane!so i left a month earlier and he doesnt want any contact with me anymore because he says i have a bad caracter and he doesnt want nothin g to do with a person like me,wheni was there i bought all groceries,gave gas money etc and i travelled 10.000 miles to be with him,i am sad ,broke and couldn't understand what went on,but now i foun out out is npd,but still hurts,and stupid me i feel sorry for him,i don't understand myself!yesterday he sent me an email telling me to live my own life,he doesnt want to do anything good or bad to me,only he wants nothing to do with me never again!

meaning tired of it.and sad.

When Jews are in mourning, here's what happens:

1. Mirrors are covered for "vanity" issues

2. Shoes are taken off

3. No work

4. No parties

5. Friends cook, clean, do laundry, and go shopping for them

An individual's total response to a major loss.

• It is better not to do much at all on the anniversary of a friend's husbands death. The only thing you could do is telephone your friend and not mention the anniversary of her husband's death and ask her if she would like to go for lunch; brunch or dinner as this may help to keep her mind off things and she will not feel so alone.

people grieve because there lost ones are gone forever and they won't come back. they grieve because someone that they might have known for many years is no longer there.

grief and sadness

Well i say that he is in a better place that's all i got to say he was the best i loved his songs excpecially My Story

You are just grieving. Everyone does it in their own way and for as long as they need to. As long as you continue with other things I wouldn't worry about it. Your age, how many other people you have known who have died affects how you react to this death. Any death brings up a lot of things. What was, what might have been. You can question your feelings from the past and ask yourself all kind of questions about it. A lot of the grieving process is not so much for the other person, but grieving for the time we will not have with them or for mistakes we may have made while we did have them in our lives.

My personal point of view is to enjoy the time you get or have had with a particular person and don't grieve for some possible future that didn't happen. Behave with people as though you may never see them again and don't do things you will regret later. It's hard to do and you will probably get burned in the process. Most people don't behave this way. If you do, you can feel good about yourself should something happen to someone you care about and you can go on with your life without regrets or at least less of them.

* Wikipedia - Chandrashekhar Azad, often called, Panditji was the founder of Garam Dal. After the Indian Rebellion of 1857, he was first among many Indian revolutionaries to use arms in their fight for independence against the British rulers. A devout Brahmin, he believed that it was his "dharma" (duty) to fight for others. He also believed that a soldier never relinquishes his weapon. Azad was a terror for the British police. He was on their hit list and the British police badly wanted to capture him dead or alive. For his part, Azad had also vowed that he would never be arrested by the British police and that he would die a free man. On February 27, 1931 Chandrashekhar Azad met two of his comrades at Alfred Park, Allahabad. He was betrayed by an informer, the police surrounded the park and ordered Chandrashekhar Azad to surrender. Azad fought alone and valiantly and killed three policemen but got shot in the thigh. After nearly exhausting his ammunition and foreseeing no means of escape, he shot himself in the head with his last bullet. == ==

changing the subject.
The APEX manual describes several examples of practicing refusal skills. These include suggesting an alternate activity or changing the subject.

Go see her anyway. You won't regret it. She loves you and wants to see you. Be brave for her.