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Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence
An abusive relationship is a relationship in which a person is victim to the use or threat of being physically or psychologically abused. Here you can ask questions about abusive relationships such as how to spot it, and how to get yourself or others help.
3,885 Questions
Can a narcissistic love their children?
Can a narcissist truly feel love for his children? Indeed, it is not possible. Not in the way "normal" humans interpret the word "love"... Based on my book "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited" (c) 2007 Lidija Rangelovska Narcissus Publications ---- Would anyone like to elaborate on what love is,in the way normal humans interpret?. I think I am narcissistic, but perhaps I am wrong in perceiving the analogy between 'the story of Narcissus' and the way I relate(/do not relate) to another. I think it could be argued, only because I am narcissistic I could ask such a question as to elaborate on what love is in the normal way. So,if I should give my definition of love, 'Doing favors equals loving'. What all does one consider as favors?, it could be anything I guess, but all I think I know is 'that which is similar between myself and another', and 'the way another differs from myself similar to the way I differ from that other'. I relate to another when I see in them what I see in myself. Do self proclaimed non-narcissists think 'You relate to another without seeing in them what you see in yourself'? _________________________________________
Its true that a narcissist can not love in a normal way a parent loves his/her child.
From what I read and experienced (my father is a narcissist) they will only love at their own convenience. When they need that person they will love and do everything for them, but if they don't need them they are distant. This goes back to how everything only revolves around them. But in a way they only care about themselves.
Why do people fight so much in relationships?
i notice that people who love each other fight a lot, because they are to used to each other and need to get away sometimes. take my mom and my step dad for example, they fight more than ever!!! other wise sometimes people just fight because both people refuse to communicate, and sometimes a certain person can be stuck with their ways and don't want to change their ways, and the other person can be like that to.
However, if you are in a relationship with someone who is physically abusive (regardless of whether the abuser is a man or a woman), please leave that relationship; this kind of "argumentation" is not normal or safe.
Because every human being regardless of their sex has the right to not be abused. I wonder why you would you ask that question.
Why someone maybe more likely to be abused?
When a person's emotional development is stunted, which can happen for a variety of reasons, it leaves them more sensitive to their environment and more likely to engage in certain behaviors that are easily recognizable to abusive individuals looking for an outlet. Sensitive people tend to try to please everyone, they openly share personal information with people they've known for a relatively short time and they are overly-appreciative and overly-apologetic.
Abuse is a hard cycle to break. Knowing what is attracting it is the first step. The most successful and sought after treatment for emotional difficulties is called 'dialectical behavior therapy.' I can attest to it's effectiveness personally. Stopping the vulnerability can be self taught with therapy workbooks that can be purchased online. They're not expensive and I highly recommend it.
Who are the people most likely to be abused?
This may sound to simple and easy, but its the people who are afraid to speak up for themselves, the people that have personal problems and certain people take advantage of their problems, the people that dont want to be noticed because they are either to shy or dont like their personal image, because the people that abuse them know that know one else will ever find out about it because they will be to afraid to speak up and to defend themselves.
How do narcissists handle abandonment?
this is truly the hardest feeling to deal with. first you have to allow yourself to grieve the loss of dreams you had about your future with the narcissist. then you have to find support for the feelings you have about the time you spent with the ex then you need to find youreslf again, do the things you remember that brought you happiness go to the places that made you feel good lastly you have to let him/her go. release a balloon or butterfly throw photos away you have to let them ooze out of your system and PS they'll return to dampen your happiness so ignore them and move on good luck writing into faqfarm is a start.
RecoveryCongratulations on being NARCISSIST-FREE! Darling, one day you will look back and celebrate! You will ask Hartz Mountain to make a Narcissist Collar!By the time he leaves, you have already cried enough. But you are so right that there is a period of recovery ahead of you. Here are a few suggestions from experience.
1. Surround yourself with sane trusted friends; you may soon realize that others have seen through him long before you did. It is okay to 'bounce things off' loyal friends since you'll likely discover that you have been lied to--a lot!--and need to compare notes. The truth will set you free.
2. He has probably done things to confuse, intimidate, humiliate and undermine you. You may need a good therapist to help you get your confidence back and to find yourself again. Once your narcissist has done his number on your head, you are probably questioning/blaming yourself about a lot of things. For example, if something goes wrong, you may immediately assume that you are to blame for the mishap, or that you are responsible for fixing it. You need to disrupt this habit of instantly looking inside yourself for the fault when things go wrong. Drop that piece of baggage, because it isn't yours--it's his. You were carrying it for your N because he's too weak to admit he's wrong about anything. Again, here is an area where a therapist may be able to help you.
3. Flush his poisons out of your system by doing the things that YOU enjoy. Avoid activities that were 'his'--that is, the things that you did primarily because he enjoyed them. Watch funny movies; go dancing; work out at the gym; catch up with friends, pursue a favorite hobby. If you have a neglected talent, pick it up again and shine!
4. Get back in touch with someone you have been missing. You know who that person is? IT'S YOU!! If you've been involved with a narcissist, it's yourself that you've been missing the most. You are a genuine person; he is not. He has no use for a genuine person. He wouldn't know what to do with one.
5. Don't be alone, but also be cautious about starting another relationship before you've gotten a good start in your emotional recovery. Don't be surprised to find that yet another N has begun hanging around and trying to charm you! "Narcissist #2" might find you attractive soon after this breakup because he senses your vulnerability. However, do not give in to your feelings of neediness! A narcissist has nothing with which to fill you, ever! He is looking for an ego meal for himself, always.
6. Also don't be too surprised if (when his narcissistic supply runs out), your ex comes sniffing around again in the role of his old charming phony self. What you do then is up to you. Just keep one thing in mind: the attractive, dynamic person he presents to you has never actually existed and does not exist now. He is an empty shell and he wants to fill himself up by sucking the life out of you. His charm is like a flashy fishing lure, and you already know what happens if you bite.
7. If the N has a key to your place, change the locks immediately. Yes, I understand that he is the one who just dumped you! But when he realizes that you will never, ever let him back into your life, he may become furious and vindictive. If you live in a building with a doorman or superintendent, let them know that your ex didn't just "lose his key," and that they are not to let him into your apartment. This suggestion may sound extreme, but even if your N has never shown any violent tendencies, he will exploit any opportunity to keep you off balance. A narcissist is at his most creative when he is out for revenge. This single precaution alone may save you untold grief. You are not dealing with a normal person.
8. If any of his stuff is still in your home, put it out of your sight. Do not phone him about it; he should have the courtesy to contact you about picking up his own possessions. If there is a lot of material to be gotten rid of and it is becoming a nuisance, send a message through an intermediary. You will accommodate him at your own convenience and not at his. (Never again miss work, school or a friend's party for his convenience.) If possible, do not be at home when he comes to pick up his stuff. However, he mustn't have the run of the place either, so you will need to recruit someone his own size to be present in your home to supervise. Tell your brother or buddy or your trusted friend exactly where the N's stuff is located on the day of pick-up (for example, the middle of the livingroom floor in a cardboard box) and that's all he's allowed to take. Under no circumstances should he be given an opportunity to "look around" and thereby gain access to your drawers, closets, medicine cabinet, car glove compartment or any other private areas. By the way, it's best not to let him drop off anything while he's in your home either. He must be watched every minute he is on your premises. Then, once you've rid your home of his residue, it's a good time to re-decorate.
9. Evict the N from your life in every way. This is harder than it sounds but it must be done. A narcissist "on a tear" can create an amazing whirlwind of chaos that could take you months to straighten out! Do not initiate any contact with him if you can avoid it. Delete his number from your auto-dialer and if possible filter out his calls. If you had been letting him use your computer, back up your own data/apps and then re-format the hard drive. Change all your passwords. If he has access to any of your credit cards or banking information, contact the banks and do whatever you can to secure them.
10. Don't try to rush the process of emotional recovery. Give yourself time.
These things are not easy to do, but there is a wonderful reward waiting for you. Soon, you will unload this burden and stand up straight again. You may have to repeat some of these actions over and over, until you have separated yourself from his craziness. But one day your re-found sanity will 'click' and you'll wonder what you ever saw in him.
All the best!
Are pathological liars dangerous to their kids?
Pathological liars -- people who habitually lie to get their way -- are usually either sociopaths or suffer from antisocial personality disorder, which is very similar (some specialists do not differentiate). They lack an understanding of the way their behavior effects others, and have no compunction about doing whatever they must to get their own way and to facilitate what passes for enjoyment in their lives, which usually involves manipulating other people.
They are dangerous to everyone who associates with them, because they are only reliable when it suits their purposes. They will disappoint, use and abuse others to get what they want. Living with or around one is especially hard on children, who are programmed to trust the adults in their lives and who suffer enormously when their expectations are not met. Since they tend to blame themselves instead of the adult, dealing with a pathological liar can have devastating and far-reaching effects on them.
I trust this was not too vague.
Most abusers firmly believe that their abusive conduct is proof and indication of deep love. In their thwarted minds, abuse, intimacy, and love are inextricable.
The saddest part is that many (but not all) abusers really ARE in love (whatever that means, it's such a subjective term) with their partners, and deep inside are quite horrified by the abuse they inflict.
Domestic Violence can be broadly defined as a pattern of abusive behaviors by one or both partners in an intimate relationship such as marriage, dating, family, friends or cohabitation. Domestic violence has many forms including physical aggression (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect); and economic deprivation.
How much does domestic violence classes cost?
most online classes are free. It can cost from nothing to a thousand dollar.
What do you o if your husband is beating you?
Mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. You might want to discuss this with him if he is unaware of his actions towards you. You might want to seek counseling or shelter to help you understand this is not because of things that you might have done.
Can you please provide me with pictures of abused kids from all over the worl?
* Only for professions such as doctors, psychiatrist, psychologists, etc. It is illegal in the U.S. and Canada to show the face of a minor to the public. Pictures may be shown as evidence in a court case.
How do you fight against bullying?
Well if everyone is bullying you then tell your parents, they can pull you out and go into another school and start a new life there. It would be better for you, since if you stay at that school or whatever, you could get hurt.
What term describes the damage of false statements to a person's reputation?
Libel and slander are terms which describe the damage of false statements to a person's reputation. The first-mentioned designation refers to falsities in writing while the second references those in conversations and speeches.
Who is entitled to the husband's pension the ex wife or new wife?
The answer to that question is both. Most states have held that retirement funds and pensions earned DURING the course of a marriage are equitable assets subject to distribution by the courts. Those pension benefits that accrue after the divorce is finalized are not available to the ex-spouse but rather would be those of the new wife. The main factor is looking what what was (and was not) earned during the course of the marriage.
Addendum:As relates to military pensions, this is somewhat complicated, as the pension is based on the highest rank attained, not as much time served or investment in a fund.Some courts have divided the pension between an ex and current wife by 50/50. Still others have divided it by the number of years each wife was married to the deceased. Still other courts have determined that the only spouse entitled to a military pension is the current spouse. It really depends on the state and the judge who decides.
Why does my boyfriend hide and lock his phone?
He's not hiding the phone (unless of course he fears that it would be stolen), he's hiding something or someone on it.
i think he could be cheating, or just talkin to the other girls. ide be suspicious. if someones got nothin to hide, they hide nothing.
well ask him tell he says an answer same thing happend to me he was cheatin
soooo dont get your hopes up
Cheating is not the only reason a boyfriend would hide/lock his phone,one reason could be is that you are just a girlfriend and are not entitled to an all exclusive stroll through someone elses privacy unless they allow you to...just as you probably would not take to kindly to a boyfriend looking through your purse,your phone,your jewelry box,your dressor drawers, through a box in your closet or through your emails and snail mail...there are areas of privacy that everyone is entitled to have..even among married couples.This is a basic concept that most women have trouble with, they seem to think that they are entitled to know,see,hear,watch and be involved in every single thing on different levels according to their status of girlfriend,live in girlfriend,fiance,or wife.
First, go to a counselor. There are plenty who deal with that kind of problem and unfortunately, there are plenty of violent men around who don't understand the concept of PROTECTING their family instead of harming them.
You'll get advice on how to deal with your mother, sisters and your father when you talk to an abuse counselor. Womens shelters are often a good place to start, even if you've moved out of the abusive home, you can talk to those people and get some good advice.
Remember, we aren't all that way and there are plenty of good men who know how to protect their families. Unfortunately, many women tend to be attracted to men who were just like their fathers and seem to be surprised when they find out that their man is abusive. Drugs, alcohol and sexual perversions are all warnings that too many young women do not heed and they end up in a bad relationship. Be smarter than those young women.
Good luck.
AnswerMy father did this too. Not so much to my sisters and mother as much as myself and one of my 3 other sisters. Its awful. It ruins any chance at any self esteem, I can fully understand that. You HAVE to understand it is NOT you, it has never been you. It is there own fault, they were brought up around it, they think it is normal. It is not normal. What happens next, and I then did this too, is you end up with men who treat you the same way. You make poor choices or no choices because you don't think you deserve anything. At my worst I lived with a man so abusive I thought I was going to be killed. I "slept" with a loaded gun and a loony in my bed. I had panic attacks. My hair started falling out. I have 3 children with 2 different men because I cannot deal with life. What finally worked for me was an old friend. One I hadn't seen since high school. He told me I was beautiful, that I was funny, that I was smart. I didn't believe him, but I thought after hearing these things so much, I must not be THAT bad. After a year of this I finally realized it was NOT me. I was not that bad. I may not be truelly beautiful, but I wasn't that ugly either. You HAVE to find a source to talk to. Many is great, but atleast one. A councilor if you haven't got any close friends, or both. You are not a bad person, but until you truelly feel this way any friendship and relationship will only break you down more. You will continue to gravitate toward people who take advantage of you until you realize that you have great value in the world and you opinion counts. It is imparitive that you see that you are wonderful and it does not make you concieted at all, you live only once and you need no regrets.Can you force the truth out of anyone?
In my past experiences i have found that in order to get the truth out of a cheating partner or spouse you have to already know a good amount of the truth. True cheaters never reveal their methods unless caught in the act.
What happens when someone chokes you by putting their hands around your neck?
- When someone squeezes you by the throat tight until it hurts it is physical abuse and you need to get out of that abusive relationship or the next time the abuser may finish off what they started.
Is there a statute of limitations on domestic abuse in Alabama?
Most felonies are set at 5 years in Alaska. If it is considered a violent crime, there many not be a limit at all. The limit can be tolled for up to 3 years if the perpetrator is out of the state.
What to do when you witness abuse in care home?
If you witness an elder being abused call the helpline 1-800-677-1116.
What can one do to help someone who you know is in an abusive relationship?
Start be getting information from this person about the signs and affects of the abuse. See if there are any meetings in your area to take this person to so they can hear first hand about the emotional, physical and mental scars that are left on a victim. Stand by them and support them and ask them how they would like to go about getting away from the abuser and what you can do for them. Do not however let this take over your life. By wanting to help is a wonderful gesture but this person also has to want help. Show them clippings from the newspaper, I just had two in mine today of woman that were abused by ex's and murdered. Sad but true..
AnswerYou could find someone better for your friend in the abusive relationship. Call the police on that abuser. Talk to her and let her know how speicial they are and how they deserve better because their worth more than what they put up with. or last but not least pray for them to see the light and get out of that kind of unhealthy lifestyle.How do you know if a man was abused as a child?
I dont think that there are certain signs that you could look for as they are different in any person. How people react to pain or abuse like i stated before is different in each person. I think the best way to find out is by asking. But make sure you are not crossing her comfort zone when you ask just make sure she is comfortable talking about it. Otherwise it could be extremly upsetting for her and you both.
