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Breakups
It takes two to make it work, but only one to break it up. This is the place to ask questions about the pain, healing, and possible solutions to relationship break-ups.
8,665 Questions
Is it true when they say Time will Tell if its meant to be?
I believe so. The more you're with somebody, the more you can tell about them.
From Sugarhoney:
Also, if you really want to know something, or you cant quite remember something and you want to find it out. You may remember it in time.
Or if you have asked your parents for something and they say "only time will tell...".
That means that they may be getting you what you have asked for, but first they have to think about it and dicuss it with each other.
Am i making sense? Hopefully i am, lol.
I hope, me editing this answer has been helpfull.
Peace out, Sugarhoney. x
I think he still wants to be your friend and maybe he's a little upset and just can't believe you aren't together anymore. He wants to hang on to you as long as he can.
* If you've taken your ex husband back then you're going to have to learn to trust him. It's apparent he wants to be with her and she's moving so it sounds like the relationship is over. He probably feels he at least owes her moving her furniture. If you are nervous about him being around her then try getting one of his friends to go with him to help lift some of the heavy furniture.
He is scared to let go, because he is afraid of the unknown. If he lets go of you and moves on to someone else, she might not want him. You are his safety net! Everyone wants their cake and eat it too. He wants to keep you, just in case no one else want him. He knows you will always be there for him.
Why does your ex start a fight with you when your trying to be nice?
Usually when your being nice, she might think your up to something.
What do you do if a girl loses feelings for you and you didn't do anything wrong?
All I can really tell you is that it hurts alot. But soon you will move on things like this happen and you will find someone who deserves you. = )
It's probably because you have lots of stress.Just cool down and relax.
she probably got sick of you, no offense.
What is the definition and spelling of the word smitten?
Smitten means that you have a crush on somebody and you're going to grow out of it.
Try talking to him,that's the only way to know if he still has feelings for you. You must start slow and show him that you really are less stressed. Forcing someone to fall in love usually backfires because love should come naturally. You can start by going to somewhere you both have a good memory of and see how it goes. Let him know that the ball is in his park and you would love to earn his trust and love back.
How can your heart mend once deceived?
When your heart is decieved, it will probably never mend in some way. It will always hurt, but you could easily heal it if you find someone else. I thought my crush loved me, but he apparently loves someone else. I was so hurt, i couldn't stop thinking about it for ages. Until I found someone else. He healed me, and i never think about the person who broke my heart ever again.
It will hurt, but if you find someone else, your heart will certainly mend.
If he was abusive then I would suggest that you having been with him,you know best what to do in order to keep him from getting aggresive with you in a violent way.If he wants to flaunt her then compliment her and them as a couple then go about your way.You may also consider informing her that he is an abuser.You should consider yourself fortunate to have been able to get out of that relationship.His flaunting her in front of you could be a sign of a couple different things but since he was abusive I won't get into all of them but most likely he had been cheating on you.If you have any more questions feel free to contact me at mrcriss1@juno.com
My husband threatens to take my kids if I leave?
Go toa women's shelter with your kids, they are anonymous. He can't find you guys, but turn your cell phone off. Tell the school not to give your information out, just let your family know! Thanks, I've been there. Get out now!!!
How can you get your wife to leave?
- You are trying to get out the marriage way too easy. If you want your wife to leave then file for a divorce and she will probably seek legal advice and the lawyers will decide who gets what and if there are children what the custody arrangements are.
- Life can be a bitter pill for many, but it up to each person to find good things in life. There are great things in life, but it depends on what that individual is looking for. If humans didn't know sadness they would not know happiness; if they did not feel pain then would not know what is was like to feel good; if they didn't go through the heartache of feeling rejected in any aspect of their life then they would not learn wisdom to better themselves and to be far more choosy as to who they let into their lives. Some people find solace in getting away from it all on the weekends such as camping; hiking; fishing and seeing the beautiful creations all around them. Other people may take up a hobby such as painting; writing songs; writing novels or poetry, etc. Every human should take time out for themselves to do something they enjoy no matter how small it may be. It is far easier to slip into having a 'pity party' within their life, but another to get up and get going. Volunteering is a wonderful thing to start off with because giving to others less fortunate and bringing a smile to their faces makes one feel warm all over. Technology such as the computer; iPods, etc., with many individuals has taken away the individuality of that person to the point where they no longer know how to communicate face to face with another person. Humans need all five sense which are sight; sound; smell; taste and touch. If we do not keep this in our lives and live through a computer then it is a waste of a beautiful life.
How do you say goodbye without hurting on my part?
We are only human and break ups hurt - all you can do is take the time that is needed to get by it.
He probably still wants to talk to you, because maybe he is still a little bit interested in you, or he just wants to be friends...
First, you have to consider, would he even want to be friends? There is probably a reason that he is your "ex." What are your reasons for wanting to reestablish contact? Do you just regret the split up and now are looking for an in? Were you genuinely friends and you don't want to lose that part of the relationship? If you want still have a friendship for the right reasons, you then have to consider, will being your friend cause your ex grief in his new relationship? If it will, you may be a better friend to just let it go. Your best bet is to just openly talk to him, and maybe even her. After hearing your side of things, he will most likely let you know one way or another.
Well that depends. There's a lot of information missing here. Is the issue so big that it justifies him not speaking to you? And are you sure that you are right about something or are you trying to force your personal opinion on him? If you were right about something but somehow hurt his feelings in the process, yes, apologize. Or at least be willing to compromise on your views, in order to keep the peace. If you were right about something that is glaringly apparent and he's mad at YOU because you are proving that something is a certain way (something he is in denial about) and he's pouting and acting like a baby, then no you should not apologize. In fact, you should evaluate your relationship. Normal, healthy relationships don't break up just ecause someone is right or wrong in a discussion. ~ T
If there is frustration in communication with a mate is it a valid reason to break up?
Hi again
Yup, we gotta teach these guys to communicate. They are still in a primate stage! Didn't you know they swing from trees? LOL I think the problem with your relationship is you've been friends for a long while and you are both like a pair of good old worn in slippers. I think if you go away on a vacation for a week or so, or move out for a bit it may shock him into realizing just how much he misses you. Why not give it a shot? I do think he loves you, but he's taking you for granted.
I just had to communicate my feelings to my husband of 34 years. I have been working my butt off (and so has he) but, he hasn't been taking the time to sit down and have those talks over tea we usually have. I'm willing, he says he's too tired and is going to veg out in the den. Yeah right! One of his friends phones about fishing or going to a hockey game and you can't shut him up. Since my husband turned 60 I said to him "I feel like a blasted ghost around here!" Of course he denies any part in it and so I said, "You know what ... I'm trading you in for 2 good looking 30 year olds!" Of course I wouldn't do it, but sometimes you feel like just saying to heck with it and moving on. It never seems to go away and it appears the woman is going to always have to kick their cute little behinds to get their brains working. LOL
I wish you luck hon.
Marcy
- Hi again Marcy! Thank you for your kind help! Haha, swing from trees! LOL! You are very astute.. how did you gather all that from what I just wrote? Amazing! How did you know he loves me? And yes, the vacation thing works, i think! He has too big of an ego, and wants me to do everything.. initiate conversations, pamper him emotionally etc, and he doesn't want to reciprocate. And when I give him the silent treatment like he gives me, he gets all sad and sulky. I like what you wrote about your hubby and you. You have such a great sense of humour :-D.. But I'm afraid of confronting him.. he might just withdraw and never come out again...Thank you Marcy!Lynn
Hi there
Oh boy! You have a hard one on your hands. Unfortunately, there are men out there of few words. It isn't that they don't feel love or care about you, they may have come from a family that didn't talk about these things and he has no idea how to talk you. You are going to have to teach him, like I had to teach my husband (and I'm still working on it. LOL)
Learning communication skills is not about arguing. Ask him nicely to sit down and that you want to talk to him. If he starts to get up and move into another room then say, "Please come back and talk to me, because if you don't, the I'm leaving this relationship!" I have no doubt he's call you dramatic and with a huff sit down and be rather belligerent about it, but at least you have got half his brain willing to listen and that's a start. Tell him how you feel and how he hurts you by not communicating. If he just sits there then ask him how he manages to work. He'll look quite puzzled and this is when you zip in "Well, you have to communicate at work in order to do your job and listen to orders or give orders, so why does your mind shut-off the minute you walk into the house?" You've got him! I've never met a man that can answer that one. He may fumble and say, "I have tough days at work and I just want to come home and relax." Don't buy it! He can sit and communicate with you and then relax. If you can teach him that taking an hour over a cup of coffee, even a drink and touching base with each other the rest of the relationship will become much smoother because you'll both know where the other stands in certain situations.
Please don't feel alone. The biggest complaint I hear from my girlfriends is their mates don't communicate. Some of them have allowed this behavior and some of us have never accepted it and work at it. Although not 100% perfected (never will be) it's better than nothing.
Yes, if your partner doesn't communicate it will ruin a relationship. We're human and our partner (married or not) should be not only your lover, but your best friend. If they aren't willing to discuss things with you then it's time to move on.
Good luck hon Marcy
- Hmm Marcy.. teach a guy? I wonder if they like to be taught.. I mean, why must I teach him, why can't he find out for himself? I don't know, but he can talk to his friends for quite a long time! And when I attempt to talk to him, he wants to go to bed, or says he's busy. Especially on the msn messenger. I agree we should be best friends and lovers too. You see, we have just 'started', even though we have been friends for close to 8 yrs. I feel he is my soulmate.. but he frustrates me to no end because his negative qualities are so similar to mine. I am thinking of opting out and forgetting about it.. because I cannot take it any longer. Sometimes in life we aren't meant to be with our soulmates right? Especially if their behaviour and lack of communication hurts us.. *sigh* i don't know. Thanks for responding though!
Unfortunately, the male and female species will always battle with good communication skills. Men seem to keep things simple in life and understand their own species because they keep things simple and understand each others grunts and groans as a response. LOL Women tend to get a little too flowery or upset over matters that sometimes can be quite simple. So, the question is, "Who is at fault and where does one begin?" It's no one's fault. Women are emotional (due to frequent hormone changes and a good brain in their head) while men keep things simple and try to not let things affect them. Women have brains like steel traps, while men are forgetful at times and in most cases doesn't stand a chance with a woman when it comes to a debate over something bothering them.
Here is an example: Both of you decide to have guests over for the evening and one of the guests is obnoxious and almost ruins the evening. Your male partner will be annoyed to some degree, but his answer to this problem is to grunt at you "That guys a jerk (putting it nicely here) and don't ask him back!" and then he forgets it and moves on. After guests are gone, the female will tell her mate what a creep the guy was and go on and on about it and will often continue the conversation in bed putting a wet blanket on any aspect of a romantic night together.
Communication takes practice and my husband and I have been married 34 years and our communications skills are pretty good, but not 100% and they never will be. I have come to realize that men can improve on communication, but will never truly change enough to please us women. I too can get very frustrated when my husband doesn't communicate well. We both are on tight schedules, so communication is right up there on my list. I like things, neat and clean because it uncomplicates life. Men think they get it and do their thing, but let's face it ... the poor guys can't win for losing.
Is lack of communication a reason to quit on a relationship? Absolutely not! It takes time and practice, but, if you have a partner that isn't going to listen and is stubborn and doesn't care, then it's time to move on. My husband and I go for quiet walks to discuss some things. It's soothing to walk along the river or a beach or even through paths in a wooded area. Nature is calming. Many of our problems are resolved by taking long walks. We also will discuss our day with each other over a cup of tea when he gets home from work. The TV is not on, nor music ... it's just him and I, and this way we each focus on what the other is saying.
Talk to your mate and express how you feel. If you are a woman then try to keep things in perspective, don't get too flowery about the subject and don't go on and on about a subject (us women have a habit of doing this.) The man wants to discuss it once in most cases and a resolution to the problem and then move on.
If you leave this relationship because of lack of communication you aren't going to find too many guys out there that are much different. At first when they date they may really strain themselves to appear that they are listening to every word you say, but after a few months together this effort will soon drift away.
Good luck Marcy
- Hi Marcy, thank you so much for your detailed answer.. What I meant actually was if the guy does not talk, and whenever I talk to him he quickly wants to exit the situation. It is frustrating me because we are not communicating. I want so much to talk to him but he doesn't want. And lack of communication spells the dearth of relationships right?
What does it mean when a young man tells you you're not on his level?
He's either very arrogant and I think he is or he would have been diplomatic enough not to say such a thing to you, or your interests in life or maturity levels aren't the same. It's import as well no matter what age that you have a partner that can meet your intellectual needs.
Don't despair because this guy sounds like he's full of himself and he's a product of his own imagination. Tell him to take a hike! You will become wiser as you age and don't let anyone EVER put your down in this manner!
