Cheating

"Lust" really means to crave for or to want badly, so in a way it's a form of selfish greed.

It's not necessarily bad that he doesn't tell you he loves you in front of his friends; he may just be shy, or embarrassed. But does he treat you differently in front of his friends? If he treats you like dirt in front of your friends, but is always such a gentleman when you're alone, there is a problem. Ask him why he's acting so differently, but make sure you don't sound too desperate.

It just means that your afraid to lose him. And if you feel like that, don't worry it happens to many people in relationships. Just show your guy how much you love him, and even mention him about those dreams and how you feel about that. It might make him think and he will show you that dreams are just dreams.

....Well assume that they are , pay close attention to your husband what he does, the explanations he gives, his routines, etc. That way you might be able to spot any odd things and verify the mistress's statement. If you are absolutely sure they are still having an affair, perhaps you should hire a private detective just to confirm or go ahead and move on with your life and make a decision that suits you.

If he takes things slowly and doesn't rush you at anything. He asks you questions and seems genuinely interested. Respects you. Come on it's easy to spot a player even though girls are attracted to the players though...shame

ANSWER:

You can tell if all he wants is sex from you. I guess I will say just use common sense and if you can all the sign that he do or did will be clear. When a man becomes close to you and you can really tell because he will make you feel special and you will be the center of his attention. A man will be happy just to be with you. He rather talk and get to know you in a lot of ways. He will be interested on where you came from, your dreams, your life schedule and many more. Don't get me wrong he will be thinking on how it will feel just to kiss you. But over all he will be happy just to hold you.

If all he want is sex the second time the two of you meet, he will start giving you hint, or maybe talk about little things when it comes to sex. Just use your better judgment and you will see a wonderful result.

if she comes to you broken hearted asking forgiveness, forgive her. If not, dump her, tell her to take a permanent hike and don't look back. Be the man.

tell her that she has hurt you really bad and that you feel like you should have some time apart.

Because the weight of all this is on your husband's shoulders and he can form the words 'no' to cheating on you and it's HIS free will. The only time you can go after anything is if he leaves you for her, or files for divorce.

Here is a good story that should make you feel better. Back in the 1960s my father saw an ad in the paper where someone was selling a 60 foot yacht for $1,000 and my father considered it a misprint. I told my father to go see it out of curiosity (because he built smaller boats himself as a hobby ... cabin cruisers) and he refused to go. Well one of his friends at work didn't refuse; went and indeed this yacht sold for $1,000. Why? Because in the husband's Will he stated that he wanted his wife to sell the yacht and give the money to his MISTRESS! That the wife did! LOL Smart lady!

Answer

In some locales, there are laws regarding Alienation of Affection. However, it may not be worth your time or energy if there is no money to be had and you don't want him back anyway. See related link.

i may not be bipolar, but i myself cheated when i was utterly hopeless for any help from anyone, and i had given everything i had for 13 years. It seems that when a person's sense of stability and hope are threatened, we act quite differently than we normally would. People with the "bi-polar" you mentioned might have much more serious issues of stability and hope than others...yes?

I feel it could be any one of these reasons:

1.) They see in her what they would like to have in a Woman.

2.) Want what they "can't" have.

3.) Want to be the hero and "save" her from who she's with at the moment.

4.) She has the experience.

5.) Just likes what he sees and wants to say I had that!

Forget it. Whatever happened it is "water under the bridge" and life goes on. You need to realize the mistakes that were made so you don't repeat them. You can not "make" a person love you, want you, or even like you. Move on.

aside from the routine snooping, observe his body language and look -- tho don't over do it -- for discrepancies between his words and his body language including his actions. at some point, voice your suspicions and ask him directly if he's cheating. most liars are not hard to find out if you're paying attention.

The first battle of the American Civil War was the Battle of Fort Sumter in 1861. With dwindling food supplies and no chance of winning against the Confederates, Fort Sumter was surrendered. It marked a turning point in the war, as Americans no longer thought the Civil War would either be quick or easily won.

You shouldn't lie then you wouldn't be in this mess!!!

Having an affair with a married man, leaves some kind of dirt on your conscience. Everyone knows it's wrong. No matter what the circumstances are. He is just married to someone else.

He loved or loves his wife, then there's you.

In the middle unfortunately.

You don't have to be responsible for letting the wife know of her husband's terrible mistakes, though unless you are quitting this affair with him.

Otherwise telling the wife about it just because you want to 'see' her hurt is unfortunately not spiritually or intellectually productive for your growth in this world.

If he confessed then I guess he loves you more than the other woman and thus ended it for your sake or maybe he doesn't want to pay alimoney. Either way since he broke your trust for 4 years, then its best you be a little carefull and I doubt he'll blame you for it. So hire a private detective Or bug him (as in put a tracing unit in his car or jacket) like in Veronica Mars:) but then you'll be constantly monitoring his movements (with no time to do the things you want to do). So either trust him and play the part of the loving wife who wouldn't question his loyalty or hire a private detective or you bug him. This is strictly my own opinion, but, I'd leave the relationship. Your husband had a 4-year relationship behind your back and I doubt he came clean with you on his own. Marriage is suppose to be about honesty, loyalty and trust and he's broken all those vows. Why waste time worrying and tracking down your husband; sit him down and tell him it's over and you at least want a separation. Perhaps that will give both of you time to think things over and if he doesn't realize he's in love with you then file for divorce. I was married before to a husband that cheated more than once and I filed for divorce immediately, but we owned no property together and there were no children involved.

It depends how bad the situation is with his wife. A man who wants to cheat can show lots of sign, but if you knew this man for a long time, your the only one that predict if he is cheating on you. I could give you all the sign and what to look for in a man if he is cheating, but it's you that can say if he is or not by his behavior and action..

Either kick him to the curb and realize that she doesn't need a cheating scumor if she really loves him. try to work things out and possibly see some type of counseling. May I assume that your husband is presently involved in an affair? May I also assume that your husband had a number of affairs? If this is the case, then I would suggest the following question to him: what is lacking in our relationship that makes you look outside of it for fulfillment? You need to talk, talk and talk more! If he tells you that you do not fulfill his sexual needs, ask him what those needs are. But be warned beforehand: some men feel that their sexual needs can only be fulfilled by new experimentation. If you're hooked to this kind of man, kiss him goodbye. All of us want to get a some personal fulfillment out of our relationships. Yet never forget that you are also entitled to get some of your needs fulfilled. So, talk to him and see what he has to say. Read more about 'mutuality' in relationships in Meyer's "Marriages, Shack-ups and Other Disasters." Also visit Kpopp's website for more information.

You don't say if you still are in love with him.Well anyway be honest with him.You both probably loved or still love each other.Don't you think if he means that much to you he deserves to know the truth.He might even suspect that you cheated on him and telling him lets him decide to move on with or without you.He will be hurt but I think he will be hurt more by lying to him.Someone said it's better not to know,but they've probably never been cheated on.And it's better to be honest.Marty

If you even have to ask that question it's kind of obvious that you don't love her! Spend more time with her and show her how much you care. if you don't feel comfortable with her any more you need to tell her how you feel. Communication is really important in a marriage.

If you are newlyweds you might have gotten married to fast. If it is a long term marriage you may be a bit bored. try to spice up your love life. It'll probably help a lot.

Hope I helped!

• It depends on the individual. Youth 'sows their wild oats' meaning they are free; young; energetic and the world is their oyster. So both young men and women can either be faithful at all times to a mate or some may just feel the need to 'sow their wild oats' while young. Both men and women that are older can over-come cheating, but both are generally set in their ways if they cheat more than once. A small percentage will learn that cheating never pays off and may have lost their mate for good and lost the respect of their children and therefore their next relationship the man or woman may never cheat again.

Just an observation about the post that mentioned at first they might go on about how much they do NOT like the other person. I have found this to be true. Often when someone is attracted to someone they can try and not like the person by trying to convince themselves and those around them just how undesriable they really are. You 'feel' it in your heart. But you KNOW it in your spirt. Ask him and look in his eyes, you know when he's lieing. I agree, we do 'feel' it...our 'gut feel' really works...we get this nagging feeling that something is not right, or unusual...you see this in his many actions. He would talk about an officemate...first he would criticize her, like how bad her hairdo is, how she looks and walks like a man or a horse, how very few friends she has in the office, how she could dare to go somewhere alone without her family...then later on he would appreciate her, like how good she did in her tasks, how fair her complexion is, how good a wife she is to her husband (yes, if she's married!), that despite the fact that he knew she kicks her daughter when she's angry and how impolite her children are!...later on you would catch some text messages between the two of them which are not like the types a boss would send to or receive from his employee. You would 'feel' that something so unofficial is going on between the two of them. You would listen to brief conversations on the phone and hear how sweetly he calls her name and how low his voice would be. He would keep his phone inside his pocket all the time, or with him inside the bathroom when he takes showers--when he used to just leave it around, now he keeps it! Then you would then hear from other people that the two of them are spending much time with each other in the office, oblivious to many people walking in and out or pass them. Change in lifestyle, yes, he becomes conscious of his looks and his clothes and you get to learn from the girl that they share the same health regimen..oh, it goes on and on and on...he may deny it and even fly in rage that you're "accusing" him of it...but what is in your heart?