Narcissism

if the poor person'significant other'is the only person with the narcissist on a regular basis..yes.
outside angels..inside DEVILS..as they say

it all depends who they have drawn into their web...one or more than one.
apart from that...no......the disorder is pervasive.

B: I think I get what you are asking. My ex was only Narccissist to her significant others and exs, people shes been or in relationships with. She had only a small group of friends and she kissed their Bs to keep them. SO Yes they can only treat their lovers like crap or ex lovers.

Some are, but some are heterosexual men who simply like to dress in womens clothes.

Answer

Not necessarily. A gay person is a someone who is sexually attracted to members of his or her own sex. A transvestite is someone who wears clothing which was designed for the opposite sex. Two entirely different concepts. Some gay men may like to wear women's clothing, but in general most male transvestites are straight.

Answer

No. They are people who prefer to wear clothing of the opposite gender. Mainly from male to female. In respect of sexuality approximately 80% of men that like to dress as women are full blooded heterosexual males. Being someone who cross-dresses is no indicator of homosexuality although a percentage will be and or Bisexual just the same as the population of men that don't choose to swap their trousers for a frock.

Madame Beau

If narcissism is that extreme form of self-love which totally over-rules any attraction to members of the opposite sex, it is extremely unlikely that narcissism could ever be passed on to future generations.

'Personality' is the product of genetics, environment, experiences in life and, to some extent, personal choice (free will).

These factors contribute to any narcissistic tendencies a person may have or exhibit. Similarly, the degree of narcissism will also be influenced by those factors. This being so, narcissism, to a greater or lesser degree, may be inherited, but not necessarily.

To some extent, a measure of 'self-love' is natural; it is a feature of being human. But experience and maturity generally ensures that self-love does not become a person's predominant quality.

(Note: Narcissistic Personality Disorder is something that can only be identified by a mental health professional who has examined the person in question. Other than that, "narcissist" is a word meaning "loves oneself excessively" and is susceptible to varying interpretations.)

1:

A Narcissist is someone who takes their self-esteem from the way others view them. Their personality will therefore center around how he or she is viewed.

Narcissism looks like this... Your partner treats you and perhaps your children very different in private than in public. In public he may ignore you giving all of his attention to others, or pretend to be the perfect husband or father, while in private he may be sarcastic, haughty and insulting. He may put people down behind their back. He may have a very inflated sense of entitlement and ego, thinking he deserves things that he hasn't worked for or earned and he may manipulate situations for attention, acting a bit too good to be true. This can fool people and so few of them will believe how he talks to his family in private (I say 'he', because I write from our experience, but there are plenty of abusive women with narcissism). He may also show little or no regard for your well being or your feelings.

2:

Unfortunately that's not all...

He may lie about you or paint a bad picture of you to gain sympathy from others and to justify his own bad behaviour. You probably have no idea of all of the lies he is telling you and the bad things he may be saying about you to others ...

If he makes fights when you try and talk about money he may be hiding credit cards or money transactions from you and his narcissism will cause him to pretend these fights are your fault.

Many narcissists are obsessed by the fantasy of an ideal relationship that is 'perfect' (and therefore fantasy!) and are skilled liars. So if the above symptoms of narcissism describe your partner, you should also be aware that he may habitually have secret crushes on other women, be having affairs, using pornography habitually, and/or conducting 'cyber' affairs (while lying that he is single) all without you having any knowledge of this. If you notice that your partners mind is often somewhere else, and they show narcissistic tendencies, this could be the reason. This obsession with his own inner fantasy life is part of what makes him unavailable, impatient and cross with you. It is a major symptom of the disorder.

Not all people with narcissism are physically abusive, but it is also a significant indicator that you will wind up being part of a domestic violent marriage. The physical abuse is not always perpetrated by the narcissist either. It is normal to become very angry with someone who manipulates you and puts you down. It is normal after years of this treatment, (especially if you discover that they have been lying to and cheating on you) to even want to kill them or wish them dead, so getting the right help and support is very important, and can be very hard to find.

There are very few people who understand narcissism or believe there is any cure, and those who say to 'leave and have no contact' are giving you very dangerous advice. If you want to leave, please get advice first on how to do it safely.

Trying to diagnose someone with a disorder is not a really a good idea when there are many who will then say that you must divorce them and have no contact and that there is no cure.

If your partner displays this behaviour it is not important to figure out the correct diagnosis, what you need to do is take steps to protect yourself and save your marriage before it is too late.

My husband was diagnosed NPD and yet still he got better and we have a great marriage now. We help partners of narcissists save their marriages too.

3:

WRONG. The correct answer is - you can not recognize a narcissist. At least not a smart, experienced narcissist. It is a matter of survival for them to not let anyone know there true nature. (See note at top of page)

A narcissist is ALWAYS an egomaniac

But an egomaniac may not have the traits necessary to be a narcissist.

amoral/conscienceless

authoritarian

care only about appearances

contemptuous

critical of others

cruel

disappointing gift-givers

don't recognize own feelings

envious and competitive

feel entitled

flirtatious or seductive

grandiose

hard to have a good time with

hate to live alone

hyper-sensitive to criticism

impulsive

lack sense of humor

naive

passive

pessimistic

religious

secretive

self-contradictory

stingy

strange work habits

unusual eating habits

weird sense of time

The way narcissists (and psychopaths) interact with others makes them extremely potent manipulators. How potent? So potent that their powers of manipulation are spooky and seem downright magical.

How does the way they interact with others make them such expert manipulators? Because practice makes perfect, and they have been practicing the art of manipulation in every interaction since birth.

Indeed, in playing to the mirror of your face, that's what they're doing, isn't it? Manipulating you. Everything they say and do is entirely for effect, to get the reaction they want from you. That IS manipulation.

They're regulating, manipulating your reactions. But you aren't like them. Your reactions come from within. So, what are they ultimately regulating and manipulating? Your thoughts. Manipulation is mind control.

Manipulation is a subtle thing. So subtle that we are usually unaware of being manipulated, unless the manipulator blows it and breaks the spell. So, manipulators are putting thoughts into our heads that we think are ours. A very dangerous thing.

Since a narcissist isn't acting on normal human premises, since all he is doing is playing you for the reaction he wants, truth is irrelevant. Truth or lies - it's all the same to him. Whichever works. Usually that's lies.

It would be more correct to say that there is no such thing as truth to a narcissist. Because there is no such thing as truth when playing Pretend. That's why narcissists and psychopaths beat lie detector tests. (In fact, so do many people from "shame" cultures where lying to save face of oneself, one's family, one's tribe, and one's religion is considered morally necessary and expected.)

Psychopaths are known to get so good at manipulating people that, by the time they're teenagers, they routinely fool and manipulate mental healthcare professionals, judges, prison officials, parole boards, and social workers who know they are psychopaths, are on the lookout for attempts to manipulate them, and should be immune to manipulation.

It isn't a matter of intelligence: it's a matter of practice, experience. This is because most of what transpires in interaction happens too quickly to think it through.

In playing to the mirror of your face, the narcissist receives a steady stream of your feedback to the steady stream of words and body language he sends. He continuously reacts to every nuance of it in "real time," if you will. A sideways glance from you might make him alter his choice for the next word in the sentence he is saying. Or his facial expression or tone of voice. Or it might make him take a step closer to you.

So, no matter how cunning a manipulator is, he isn't consciously analyzing your every slight reaction and fine-tuning his act to it. I say that because he can't be. That would be impossible, because no one could think that fast.

He must be relying on a lifetime of experience at this game, reacting habitually in certain ways to certain things he observes in you on the fly. In other words, this manipulation must be rather like the act of hitting a forehand in tennis.

You cannot consciously think your way through the stroke. Too many things are happening too fast. In fact, you will botch your stroke and be lucky to even connect with the ball if you try to consciously think your way through with "Watch the ball ... bend your knees ... keep your arm straight ... keep your head still ... step into the shot ... et ad infinitum." Well, that's exaggerating a bit, because there are only about 100 instructions I could list for hitting a forehand ;-)

You can't think that fast. No one can. So, you must practice that stroke enough under varying conditions to program the unconscious centers of the brain to execute it virtually automatically. When you net your shot or hit it out (provided you note how far off the shot was), your "program" is revised to get the bug out.

This phenomenon is called Natural Learning. It's how we learn to walk and talk.

That "program" isn't just a fixed set of muscle commands from the brain. It's an interactive program like a computer program. Because no two forehands are the same. Yet the more you practice, the better your forehand program, and the more effectively it faithfully produces a good forehand under widely varying conditions. You have only to make the major decisions, such as where and how to hit the ball: speed, spin, and placement. But Natural Learning is so powerful that even tactical decisions become virtually automatic in advanced players. Hence the best players in the world do very little conscious thinking while the ball's in play.

The power of Natural Learning is also illustrated by comparing experienced drivers with young drivers. Young drivers have no experience, so they must think their way through problems. Result? Crash. But with the same problem an experienced driver has no problem. He or she spontaneously makes an intuitive, instinctive move faster than the speed of thought. Result? No crash.

When playing to the mirror of your face, that must be what a narcissist is mostly doing - relying on a lifetime of experience that allows him to react instinctively to every bit of feedback he gets from you. That's how he fine-tunes your reactions into the feedback he wants. Rather like turning the knobs on a short-wave radio.

This is manipulation. And it's occurring faster than the speed of thought, because a narcissist has had so much constant practice at drawing the look he wants that most of his "moves" are virtually automatic.

This is why, I think, narcissists seem like machines with their knee-jerk reactions to things. But those reactions aren't knee-jerk reflexes: they are learned through experience to the point that they become habitual as second nature.

This is also why, I think, we tend to overestimate the intelligence of narcissists, psychopaths, con artists, and other manipulators like dictators who con their way to power. We think they must be brilliant to be so manipulative. But even a stupid narcissist I knew was extremely manipulative. Their skill is the fruit of constant practice at manipulation in every human interaction.

But it doesn't pay to underestimate them, either. That same practice makes them extremely observant and perceptive. Over time that will improve their intelligence, at least some aspects of it.

In fact, they are much more observant and perceptive than they seem. That's because all they're interested in is what they can use. So, though they block out much, what they do choose to see, they see very well. They are interested in your reactions, not you. So, they probably are more aware of how you react to things than you are. But the only information about you they're interested in is what that can use to exploit you. The rest they filter out of consciousness = forget.

So, never think that you are too smart to be manipulated by a narcissist, psychopath, or con artist. You aren't. And you surely can never beat one at his own game.

That's nothing to be ashamed of. It just means that you are an innocent who hasn't spent his or her whole life practicing the black art. So, you won't win that game.

Simple. In two words: Frightened and Threatened. Narcissists are often originally drawn to confident people with high self-esteem. That is because they need to use them, rest in their light for a while so to speak, then they suck the life out of them when they are not always receiving the adoration they need. If you criticize just once, you pay. The attacks start, and the narcissist is then on a road to lower your self-esteem to make you dependent and frightened so you do not leave them. The thing is, they are the ones dependent on YOU! They are frightened that if you are gone they will not be able to draw their Narcissistic Supply from you .

Never, worry about the Narcissist. They survive in spite of acting like they won't (it is a ploy to manipulate and control you). They will play the victim for a while, but all the time they are just looking for another source of supply. Sadly, they will find some unsuspecting person who will be drawn into their web for a while and the cycle will repeat.

The best way to improve your self-esteem is to get awayand continue your therapy. Let your therapist help you gain the strength to leave or you will NEVER, EVER get your self-esteem and self-respect back. As long as you stay with the narcissist he will chip away at you. He will remind you of your "sins" against him which is what he will consider your therapy. He will pretend he is supportive, initially, because he is too cowardly to fight you. But underneath he is furious and very FRIGHTENED that you will figure him out and leave him, and he will not have you to insult or belittle anymore in order to boost his own ego. And, after you stop your therapy, he will get even more aggressive in his attempts to beat you down. Narcissists are always plotting to emotionally destroy those closest to them. It is their basic trait.

I would like to add this:

I could not agree more on what is said above. Your therapist is your best ally on these situations, they are trained on all aspects of the human mind, so to speak. And yes , they know exactly how the narcistic person operates. Never fear.

PS: I am psychology major taking advanced courses. ! Hope I have been of service.