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Narcissism
Narcissism refers to a mental disorder which involves excessive admiration and love with one's self. It is also characterized by a need for admiration and attention from others as well as an exaggerated sense of self-importance.
2,116 Questions
Is an egomaniac the same thing as a narcissist?
A narcissist is ALWAYS an egomaniac
But an egomaniac may not have the traits necessary to be a narcissist.
amoral/conscienceless
authoritarian
care only about appearances
contemptuous
critical of others
cruel
disappointing gift-givers
don't recognize own feelings
envious and competitive
feel entitled
flirtatious or seductive
grandiose
hard to have a good time with
hate to live alone
hyper-sensitive to criticism
impulsive
lack sense of humor
naive
passive
pessimistic
religious
secretive
self-contradictory
stingy
strange work habits
unusual eating habits
weird sense of time
The way narcissists (and psychopaths) interact with others makes them extremely potent manipulators. How potent? So potent that their powers of manipulation are spooky and seem downright magical.
How does the way they interact with others make them such expert manipulators? Because practice makes perfect, and they have been practicing the art of manipulation in every interaction since birth.
Indeed, in playing to the mirror of your face, that's what they're doing, isn't it? Manipulating you. Everything they say and do is entirely for effect, to get the reaction they want from you. That IS manipulation.
They're regulating, manipulating your reactions. But you aren't like them. Your reactions come from within. So, what are they ultimately regulating and manipulating? Your thoughts. Manipulation is mind control.
Manipulation is a subtle thing. So subtle that we are usually unaware of being manipulated, unless the manipulator blows it and breaks the spell. So, manipulators are putting thoughts into our heads that we think are ours. A very dangerous thing.
Since a narcissist isn't acting on normal human premises, since all he is doing is playing you for the reaction he wants, truth is irrelevant. Truth or lies - it's all the same to him. Whichever works. Usually that's lies.
It would be more correct to say that there is no such thing as truth to a narcissist. Because there is no such thing as truth when playing Pretend. That's why narcissists and psychopaths beat lie detector tests. (In fact, so do many people from "shame" cultures where lying to save face of oneself, one's family, one's tribe, and one's religion is considered morally necessary and expected.)
Psychopaths are known to get so good at manipulating people that, by the time they're teenagers, they routinely fool and manipulate mental healthcare professionals, judges, prison officials, parole boards, and social workers who know they are psychopaths, are on the lookout for attempts to manipulate them, and should be immune to manipulation.
It isn't a matter of intelligence: it's a matter of practice, experience. This is because most of what transpires in interaction happens too quickly to think it through.
In playing to the mirror of your face, the narcissist receives a steady stream of your feedback to the steady stream of words and body language he sends. He continuously reacts to every nuance of it in "real time," if you will. A sideways glance from you might make him alter his choice for the next word in the sentence he is saying. Or his facial expression or tone of voice. Or it might make him take a step closer to you.
So, no matter how cunning a manipulator is, he isn't consciously analyzing your every slight reaction and fine-tuning his act to it. I say that because he can't be. That would be impossible, because no one could think that fast.
He must be relying on a lifetime of experience at this game, reacting habitually in certain ways to certain things he observes in you on the fly. In other words, this manipulation must be rather like the act of hitting a forehand in tennis.
You cannot consciously think your way through the stroke. Too many things are happening too fast. In fact, you will botch your stroke and be lucky to even connect with the ball if you try to consciously think your way through with "Watch the ball ... bend your knees ... keep your arm straight ... keep your head still ... step into the shot ... et ad infinitum." Well, that's exaggerating a bit, because there are only about 100 instructions I could list for hitting a forehand ;-)
You can't think that fast. No one can. So, you must practice that stroke enough under varying conditions to program the unconscious centers of the brain to execute it virtually automatically. When you net your shot or hit it out (provided you note how far off the shot was), your "program" is revised to get the bug out.
This phenomenon is called Natural Learning. It's how we learn to walk and talk.
That "program" isn't just a fixed set of muscle commands from the brain. It's an interactive program like a computer program. Because no two forehands are the same. Yet the more you practice, the better your forehand program, and the more effectively it faithfully produces a good forehand under widely varying conditions. You have only to make the major decisions, such as where and how to hit the ball: speed, spin, and placement. But Natural Learning is so powerful that even tactical decisions become virtually automatic in advanced players. Hence the best players in the world do very little conscious thinking while the ball's in play.
The power of Natural Learning is also illustrated by comparing experienced drivers with young drivers. Young drivers have no experience, so they must think their way through problems. Result? Crash. But with the same problem an experienced driver has no problem. He or she spontaneously makes an intuitive, instinctive move faster than the speed of thought. Result? No crash.
When playing to the mirror of your face, that must be what a narcissist is mostly doing - relying on a lifetime of experience that allows him to react instinctively to every bit of feedback he gets from you. That's how he fine-tunes your reactions into the feedback he wants. Rather like turning the knobs on a short-wave radio.
This is manipulation. And it's occurring faster than the speed of thought, because a narcissist has had so much constant practice at drawing the look he wants that most of his "moves" are virtually automatic.
This is why, I think, narcissists seem like machines with their knee-jerk reactions to things. But those reactions aren't knee-jerk reflexes: they are learned through experience to the point that they become habitual as second nature.
This is also why, I think, we tend to overestimate the intelligence of narcissists, psychopaths, con artists, and other manipulators like dictators who con their way to power. We think they must be brilliant to be so manipulative. But even a stupid narcissist I knew was extremely manipulative. Their skill is the fruit of constant practice at manipulation in every human interaction.
But it doesn't pay to underestimate them, either. That same practice makes them extremely observant and perceptive. Over time that will improve their intelligence, at least some aspects of it.
In fact, they are much more observant and perceptive than they seem. That's because all they're interested in is what they can use. So, though they block out much, what they do choose to see, they see very well. They are interested in your reactions, not you. So, they probably are more aware of how you react to things than you are. But the only information about you they're interested in is what that can use to exploit you. The rest they filter out of consciousness = forget.
So, never think that you are too smart to be manipulated by a narcissist, psychopath, or con artist. You aren't. And you surely can never beat one at his own game.
That's nothing to be ashamed of. It just means that you are an innocent who hasn't spent his or her whole life practicing the black art. So, you won't win that game.
What are the first signs of a psychopath?
There are many and various first signs just as there are many and various human personality traits. For example, in a psychopath who has a propensity for stealing, the first sign might be the appearance of items on the person's body or in her/ his room that logically don't belong to her/him. Another sign might be flimsy lies intended to explain the presence of those objects. In a psychopath who has uncontrolled and/ or irrational rages, the first sign would probably be a display of this behavior. Some psychopaths show no signs at all of their psychopathy. In about 2002 a man who had been suspected of being a serial murderer of women was arrested after investigators assigned to the case finally collected the evidence they needed to arrest him. He was indeed found guilty. The most shocking facet of the case that emerged in court was neither the number nor the visciouness of the crimes committed, but the fact that the murderer was a happily married family man, the father of two daughters who were adults by the time of the arrest, a pillar of his community, a deacon in his church, and much respected by all who knew him. For a detailed description of a psychopath who remained a functioning member of his community after attacking and leaving for dead two teenage girls who camped in a campground near his town, I recommend Terry Jentz's "Strange Piece of Paradise". The author was one of the victims. Rachel Jacobs California
What is antagonistic behavior?
When someone constantly pushes your buttons in a negative way provoking anger and conflict all the time some people get off on doing this to others it's an avoidance/ evasion tactic it's also hurtful remove yourself from the person as fast as possible they are sick
Simple. In two words: Frightened and Threatened. Narcissists are often originally drawn to confident people with high self-esteem. That is because they need to use them, rest in their light for a while so to speak, then they suck the life out of them when they are not always receiving the adoration they need. If you criticize just once, you pay. The attacks start, and the narcissist is then on a road to lower your self-esteem to make you dependent and frightened so you do not leave them. The thing is, they are the ones dependent on YOU! They are frightened that if you are gone they will not be able to draw their Narcissistic Supply from you .
Never, worry about the Narcissist. They survive in spite of acting like they won't (it is a ploy to manipulate and control you). They will play the victim for a while, but all the time they are just looking for another source of supply. Sadly, they will find some unsuspecting person who will be drawn into their web for a while and the cycle will repeat.
The best way to improve your self-esteem is to get awayand continue your therapy. Let your therapist help you gain the strength to leave or you will NEVER, EVER get your self-esteem and self-respect back. As long as you stay with the narcissist he will chip away at you. He will remind you of your "sins" against him which is what he will consider your therapy. He will pretend he is supportive, initially, because he is too cowardly to fight you. But underneath he is furious and very FRIGHTENED that you will figure him out and leave him, and he will not have you to insult or belittle anymore in order to boost his own ego. And, after you stop your therapy, he will get even more aggressive in his attempts to beat you down. Narcissists are always plotting to emotionally destroy those closest to them. It is their basic trait.
I would like to add this:
I could not agree more on what is said above. Your therapist is your best ally on these situations, they are trained on all aspects of the human mind, so to speak. And yes , they know exactly how the narcistic person operates. Never fear.
PS: I am psychology major taking advanced courses. ! Hope I have been of service.
What is the difference between a pathological liar and a psychopath?
A pathological liar could be a psychopath, but statistically speaking he is probably just narcissistic and/or ASPD (sociopath). Psychopaths are the extreme version of ASPD. Essentially it is someone who intentionally causes trauma to another.
Are pathological liars aware of their condition?
No, typically pathological liars are not not aware of the fact that they are lying constantly. And, often times they believe their own lies. However, we can't mix pathological liars with diagnosed disorder with a person who lies to protect himself/herself.
What signs are there for pathological liars?
Signs of pathological liars may include consistent lying without guilt or remorse, difficulty distinguishing between truth and lies, manipulation of others for personal gain, and a history of deception and deceit across different situations. It is important to note that only a mental health professional can diagnose pathological lying.
Can rigid behavior pattern lead to personality disorders?
Yes, rigid behavior patterns can contribute to the development of personality disorders, such as obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. These patterns can restrict flexibility in thinking and behavior, resulting in difficulties in adapting to changing situations and relationships. Therapy can help individuals develop more adaptive coping strategies and increase their ability to tolerate uncertainty and ambiguity.
When dealing with a narcissistic adult child, setting and maintaining firm boundaries is essential. This may include limiting contact, seeking support from a therapist or counselor, and focusing on your own well-being. It's important to prioritize your mental and emotional health while also recognizing that you cannot change someone who is not willing to change themselves.
Should you ignore your narcissist when he is abusive?
Yes, you should ignore him or anybody who is abusive. The truth is: nobody is perfect and sometimes we need people to teach us a lesson. Ignoring him is the best thing you could do for him and for YOU. If he really loves you, he will eventually realize he made a mistake but this would only happen if you ignore him long enough, and this means, ignoring his first attempts to contact you, it is hard but at the end it is worth it. Good luck =)
What makes a person sociopathic is a long and hard question to answer. In truth, there probably isn't a correct answer. There are some theories, which I will outline, briefly, here. But one must remember psychoanalytic theories are difficult, if not impossible, to prove completely via scientific method. The reason for this is that, unlike many chemicals, personality is mutable and difficult to define. The way mental illnesses affect people is also quite diverse. In each individual a mental illness most likely will run a course different from that in the next individual. And personality disorders, such as antisocial personality, can range over a broad spectrum when considering its similarities and differences in different people.
The most commonly accepted predeterminant of sociopathy would be a grave degree of early parental neglect. If anything, this seems to be the most diagnostic factor in forming antisocial personality. A person, even an animal, needs some form of just post-natal bonding with another person or animal in order to form proper relationships with others as he or she ages. When this is not provided, all h-e-double-toothpicks, as they say, breaks loose. As an aside, it does not matter the race, age or sex of the individual with whom the baby must bond. In the animal kingdom, a duck may bond to a dog, a penguin to a wildebeest. As long as the elder animal is nurturant, the animal does well. In the animal world, this bonding is called imprinting. In the human world, the lack of such bonding results in something called "mental illness."
Other considered factors are problems with the cortex and, possibly, heredity. A theory I find of interest is that very low or very high intelligence may play a role. Risk-taking behavior is more a symptom than a precursor. I am unsure where upon the spectrum would fall impulsivity. Is it a cause of sociopathy? Does the psychopathic personality just gravitate to problems with impulse control? Of course, substance abuse is always mentioned. But sellf-medicating substance use or abuse is a component of all mental illnesses.
As an aside, when people refer to sociopathy, they are referring to one or possibly more of the following. These are different, but largely by degrees. Learning about sociopathy, psychopathy, asocial personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, disocial personality disorder will further your enlightenment, such as it may be in the darkness, about the others.
An excellent book on this subject is "The Mask of Sanity," by Hervey M. Cleckley, MD. Although it was written in 1941, it is still highly relevant today.
I read this (linked) article and agree with the premise that sociopaths are born sociopaths. The "third ingredient", essentially being abused (as a child), is what triggers the violent tendencies later in life that make a sociopath be noticed by other people and/or themselves (manifestation).
Are compulsive liars also sociopaths?
Not necessarily. Compulsive lying can be a behavior associated with various mental health conditions or personality traits, including but not limited to sociopathy. Sociopathy, also known as antisocial personality disorder, involves a pattern of manipulative and deceitful behavior, among other characteristics. Compulsive lying on its own does not indicate sociopathy.
While virtually everyone may tell a lie at times, for various practical reasons, a pathological liar is a mentally ill person who feels compelled to lie even when the lies do not serve any useful purpose. Such people also may base their entire strategy of survival upon an endless series of lies. Pathological liars typically appear to be very sincere when they are lying, and may be very deceptive. They feel no embarrassment about what they do.
Intelligence can be subjective and difficult to measure definitively. However, Austin's intellectual capabilities may be better understood through observing his critical thinking skills, problem-solving abilities, and knowledge in various subjects.
What percentage of people in America suffer from narcissism?
- There are no specific statistics to give you because a large percentage of Narcissists refuse counseling.
- 11% is what I read. It is supposed to be relatively rare, which is odd because it seems like there is a huge victim community out there.
What are the statistics on Narcissists and marriage and divorce?
Unfortunately you will never get correct stats on this. The label "Narcissist" is used too widely and a person could simply be ego-tripping, a perfectionist or a perfect poop, but not necessarily a narcissist. It would take a therapist to label such a person and many people never feel the need to seek out psychological counseling so true stats will never be on this one. this is a deep question. we will never know the answer to that. So many victims cannot speak up and so many abusors, Ns or not fail to seek help. IT does seem pervasive by what i HAVE read on clinical studies that N's seem to DEPEND on having a long term "mate" around with which to feed off. Not a true marriage as in love honor cherish etc. Well, just read some of the posts and better yet articles of actual diagnoses.
What is the frequency with which narcissism occurs?
Most stats say approx 1% of the population. This likely refers to those who are Malignant Narcisists. To varying degree all humans have some narcissistic traits at some point during their development, however they would not be classified as having NPD.
I spoke with my theropist about this. In her opinion that number is wrong. Theropists rarely see Ns because they rarely go for help because they dont think they need it. She said she would put a zero behind the number at least 10%. They do however see alot of the victims of Ns. she went to a siminar about this very disorder. And were told to be very careful if they take one as a patient because they will do u like everyone else. suck u dry and move to another theropist. some will go as far as accusing theropists of misconduct and so forth so they can be very dangerous to deal with. She and other theropists discussed this and they have gotten calls from people saying they have been diagnosed with this and make appointments and never show up this happens alot.
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New answer
A narcissist is always this way. There is no occurrence. The only time they put on a different face is when they need something from you.
What are the characteristics of male person with NPD?
In my view someone with npd has fundamental low self esteem . Take my last boyfriend, he left 3 times and each time he came back saying he made a mistake. He would start arguments and blame me. He always referred to me having problems that he is trying to sort out and when I go to him for comfort he would run away. He told me everything I said was wrong starting each sentence with "no" (watch out for that it is a sure sign ). Let me tell you it is a slow chipping away at your confidence. I don't think he meant to do it and that's the sad part you can't stop someone acting in a certain way if they can't understand the way they acted in the first place. It gets worse but for me the worst part was blaming myself for a failed relationship but it's not until you are out and on the road to recovery can you look back and say "wow" that was close!
I suggest reading as much about the disorder as possible, some web sites are better than others most write npd as a lost cause, to truly understand you have to go back persons childhood
What are three-level model in human behavior of Milton?
Milton Rokeach's three-level model in human behavior includes individual personality (internal factors), interactions with others (interpersonal relations), and participation in societal structures (social systems). Rokeach believed that human behavior can be understood by examining how these three levels interact and influence one another.
How do you handle the narcissist who tries to ruin your reputation after you leave him?
you take it and ignore it you laugh it off and agree sarcasticly.. tell him lines such as "what ever" and "suuuuuuure" if you show it dosent bother you he or she will drop it eventualy... DO NOT SINK TO THEIR LEVEL Trust yourself because you know who you are and you're one strong person for leaving this narcissist. I call this "shaking the old apple tree" which means those that choose to believe his lies about you were never your friends in the first place and those that stand by your side are your true friends. Consider it a short-cut in life. Good for you! Keep going girl! Someone once told me, "You know who you are. Walk with your head held high - with dignity." The truth 'always' prevails. If not now - later. Try to trust this universal law. Those who know you - those worthy of your friendship and love - will always know the truth. The rest will eventually, even if you are not privy to it. Going against our instincts to defend can be one of the most difficult tasks before us, but silence can speak far louder than our words. If ever in a situation where you are faced with a "fact" about yourself that is untrue, simply find a few powerful, calm, mature words that will get the truth across, while retaining your dignity and composure. Never forget who you are and walk assuredly in that truth. Best wishes & an end to troubles, AlwaysLearning
Because narcissistic traits are about mind-bending control and game-playing. They've just pushed your buttons! The next time they do this to you say, "You know, you're so right!" Before walking away take a good look at their face. For the first time in a long time they'll be at a loss for words! I know, I've done it! He enjoys gaslighting to make you think you are crazy. Very common with these types. His main goal is most likely is to play with your mind and sit and watch the results like the proud owner of a new prize.
Should you feel sorry for your ex-Narcissist who was mean to you and dumped you?
I would say that if it helps YOU, go ahead and feel sorry for them. Let me explain: First, I am not an expert by any means. If this is difficult for you please get some counseling.I will tell you what has helped me though, with the help of my counselor. A narcissist should not be excused from their bad behavior. I truly believe that they know they are treating you bad. They likely don't care because they are so consumed with themselves and their own need for validation. The thing that made the difference to me was knowing that a narcissist doesn't care because he is INCAPABLE of it. They just don't know how. This is very tragic for them. Just think! They will likely never be able to feel love the way you or I are able. They are at a huge disadvantage in almost every aspect of their lives. They are never happy and they live in a constant state of inner turmoil. I read somewhere, "How can you hate a snake for being a snake?" Same with a narcissist. It is what it is and we can't change it. We can feel sorry for them enough to know that we can't blame ourselves. If this helps you accept and move on, go ahead and feel sorry for them. Just please don't stay with them! No amount of pity will change them. Good luck. You are not alone! Don't feel sorry for him, but learn to forgive. I have on my fridge, "If you can't forgive the person then they still have control of you." Narcissists feel little to no remorse and they will just jump from one prey to the other. They are hunters without knowing it. No counseling will help them because they feel they know more and are more highly intelligent than most people. Good luck I've been feeling sorry for my ex-narcissist for quite awhile now, even though he was the one who dumped me after I found out he was cheating on me with a friend -- who was engaged to someone else, by the way. A real sad mess for everyone involved...But, I'd always remember his sad sad stories of his childhood and forgive him for hurting me so much because he didn't know any better and someone who went thru such traumatic events couldn't possibly be expected to rise above that. Well -- and maybe this will help you, too-- after 8 months of crying over him, therapy, medication, and still feeling bad over his sad childhood, I was given a gift that I believe was no coincidence: I flew on an airplane with someone from his family, who shockingly revealed to me that these sad stories were, in fact, lies. Everything I believed about this guy -- lies. Everything that reeled me in, with my big heart and huge capacity for love -- lies. He's a narcissist, which I only realized after he so ruthlessly discarded me, and that's what they do -- lie to evoke sympathy, which equals Narcissistic Supply. So, think about all of those things about yours that make you sad, and remember my story...
How does a narcissist behave when she is very jealous of a close friend?
They will be very petty snd try to put you down in ways that they think they can get away with (passive aggressive tactics). They will say things that have a double edged sword meant to hurt you. They also chose to do this when you are out somewhere and no one can hear. I once had this friend who was fat. I was very slim and still am. When I was pregnant she wanted to see my stomach and she looked and goes, "oh you don't have very many stretch marks." The thing is I never got even one. She was always saying crap. She was a parasite. I dropped her like a hot spud and ignored her.
AnswerThey will gaslight you and systematically undermine your confidence at every turn. By the time they are finished with you, you won't even be sure about your own name.