Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence

I would find a group in your area. One that focuses on sexual abuse. It is very important that you talk about it and get the right help. Not from friends or family. They won't be able to offer the help that is needed. It is important that you talk to a professional because it will effect you the rest of your life, with ever relationship you or the person attempt to have.

Sorry to say hope is very low. Narcissistic Personality Disorder While grandiosity is the diagnostic hallmark of pathological narcissism, there is research evidence that pathological narcissism occurs in two forms, (a) a grandiose state of mind in young adults that can be corrected by life experiences, and (b) the stable disorder described in DSM-IV, which is defined less by grandiosity than by severely disturbed interpersonal relations. The preferred theory seems to be that narcissism is caused by very early affective deprivation, yet the clinical material tends to describe narcissists as unwilling rather than unable, thus treating narcissistic behaviors as volitional -- that is, narcissism is termed a personality disorder, but it tends to be discussed as a character disorder. This distinction is important to prognosis and treatment possibilities. If NPD is caused by infantile damage and consequent developmental short-circuits, it probably represents an irremediable condition. On the other hand, if narcissism is a behavior pattern that's learned, then there is some hope, however tenuous, that it's a behavior pattern that can be unlearned. The clinical literature on NPD is highly theoretical, abstract, and general, with sparse case material, suggesting that clinical writers have little experience with narcissism in the flesh. There are several reasons for this to be so: -- The incidence of NPD is estimated at 1% in the general population, though I haven't been able to discover the basis of this estimate. -- Narcissists rarely enter treatment and, once in treatment, progress very slowly. We're talking about two or more years of frequent sessions before the narcissist can acknowledge even that the therapist is sometimes helpful. It's difficult to keep narcissists in treatment long enough for improvement to be made -- and few people, narcissists or not, have the motivation or the money to pursue treatment that produces so little so late. -- Because of the influence of third-party payers (insurance companies), there has been a strong trend towards short-term therapy that concentrates on ameliorating acute troubles, such as depression, rather than delving into underlying chronic problems. Narcissists are very reluctant to open up and trust, so it's possible that their NPD is not even recognized by therapists in short-term treatment. Purely anecdotal evidence from correspondents and from observations of people I know indicates that selective serotonin-reuptake inhibitors, such as Prozac, aggravate narcissists' grandiosity and lack of social inhibition. It has also been suggested that self-help literature about bolstering self-esteem and getting what you want out of life or that encourages the feeling of victimization has aggravating effects on NPD thinking and behavior. -- Most clinical writers seem unaware that narcissists' self-reports are unreliable. This is troubling, considering that lying is the most common complaint about narcissists and that, in many instances, defects of empathy lead narcissists to wildly inaccurate misinterpretations of other people's speech and actions, so that they may believe that they are liked and respected despite a history of callous and exploitative personal interactions.

To stop violence so many things must be put in place and the government must be the basis to the solution of this problem. 1. employment must be giving to the youth who mostly are the instrument for violent act. 2. good and quality education must be given to the student. 3.they must ensure that life is suitable for an average citizen. In other words food and materials should be made available and afordable for all.for this to be effective the inflaction of goods and services must be control. 4.Payment of taxes must not be equal. 5.politicians who allows these young people to work for them thurgs should stop it in other to help the society. 5.More importantly, the youths involved in this act should change and get themselves occupied with something reasonable. 6.To crown it with an adage that says train up a child in the way he should go so that when he grows he will not depart from it. This is applicable to the parents and guardians. Mercy Olo Anyekemah Edo state, Nigeria.

Abusive men are all about control. I swear they have never come out of the caveman stage. Gone are the days of man hunting and the woman chewing hides! LOL Some men don't get it and it's learned from either the environment they were brought up in, or if they've had a problem somewhere in their adult life such as a woman or women controlling them in the past, or perhaps even losing a job or missing out on a promotion. Some men are just plain mean to the bone. Abusive men are actually weak and, in ways they are to be pitied because their emotions are out of control like a locomotive. They actually do know something is wrong, but often don't know what to do about it and most never will go for counseling because they consider this a weakness. They need to feel safe in their own little world and the only way they can attain this is by controlling those around them in the privacy of their own home. Abusive men just don't abuse their wives, girlfriends, but also children and sometimes the elderly and yes, even pets! They are smart enough to know that they can't get away with this behavior at work or out in society. Abusers will seldom act out while out in public for fear of retribution from another male. They are afraid to face someone of their own strength! When they assert their dominance and authority it's to control their situation to make them feel safe and secure. Oddly enough, all the things they blame the victim for are the very things they feel weak in. EXAMPLE: If they blame their victim for being weak and needy and they can't get out on their own and wouldn't survive without them, it's actually the opposite. Many abusers actually love their mate and are so fearful of losing them they will try to scare them and also brain-wash them from leaving. It's the only tools an abuser has. Abusers have always been around since the time of man, but it was acceptable behavior in olden days, then in the mid-30s up it was hidden (the woman felt ashamed and there was little help at that time) but, since the 60s women are fighting back now. There are many women out there that have formed groups such as "The Abused Women's Centers" and "Transitions Houses (safe houses), programs, taking self-defence courses and laws are slowly, but surely being changed to protect the victim. Young women of today should actually know there is no reason they have to stay in an abusive relationship. Good luck Marcy

To be honest time is what it's going to take to get over him I know what you're going through me and my ex have been broken up for over a year and we were together four years and we still have mad love for each other we are in the process of trying to get back together so I guess what I really should tell you is if you love him and you really love him and you feel like you gotta chance take it you may never stop thinking about him but for the time being maybe you should try to talk to someone else or just get out and mingle with other people to help you get over your ex but really it's going to take time time heals all things and prayer does too!!

The first thing you must do is avoid him. Once your brain is not getting input and feedback on him, pretty soon it will find other avenues to channel its energy. If you don't see, talk or ask anyone about him you will become bored of going over the same old things in your head. But if you continue to hang on it will just drag it out.Also get out and meet men. That's another way to replace the thoughts of him. I think it takes about 6 months then your over the worst then after that it dwindles quicker and quicker to indifference.

Report abuse to any person that you trust completely.

There are many reasons why a person would talk about you in positive and negative ways, for example...

-They are jelous of something you have or are

-They heard something about you and are spreading the rumor

-They want to make you angry

-They like you

-You have something on your face or on your butt ect

-You are too loud and obnoctious

-You are too quiet

-They suspect that something is wrong

-Or they are planing something

There are many other reasons why someone would talk about you it is natural and it happens to everybody.

You shouldn't have to handle them. The only contact you should have is for the childrens visitation, school and medical decisions. Bring someone with you as much as possible when you have to be around them, abusive people tend to back off when they have witnesses. Write down what they do that is abusive and go to the judge that handled the divorce and see what they think...Let the abuser know in no uncertain terms that you will not tolerate their ways anymore, scream it at the top of your lungs, with some supportive family and friends present. Give them a taste of their own medicine, see how they like it...

according to amnesty international...more than 70% of women get killed by their fathers, brothers, husbands, relatives & other unknown men/strangers. but almost all females get abused by men verbally at some point in their lifetime.

Probably. If a guy hits once, he tends to hit againa and again. ANSWER I would not give him the chance to hit you again. I would leave, run, drive, as far away as I could, file charges and never talk to him again or even listen to what they have to say. The first time a guy hits you it is not your falt but the second time is.

Fomenting one part of society from the same society to terrorise

Flat out leave the guy. Tell him no and that you know he won't change. If you stay strong, he will know you mean it.

Keep in mind, even if he does know you mean it, just leave and don't stay. Controlling relationships can quickly become abusive, and then it might be too late. The sooner you leave, the better.

A note from Mythology0000:

Another thing you should try to do is work it out. Be nice, give him a chance. If he's still not cooperating, then do what Mooper64 said.

you might want to use something more nice and respectable l am girl my self and sweet things a guy could say is for example , l love you more then anything in this world , u mean the world to me , l will always love you , your always the first thing l think about when l wake up and so on ..... Hope that helps =)

There are numerous factors that may make a person more susceptible to abuse. The factors include if one has low self esteem or self worth, if they have had abuse before, nobody to protect them, and the mentally ill.

If you are personally a victim of domestic violence, the best solution is to get away from whomever is being violent toward you; just leave. It is sometimes possible to reform people and to get them to behave better, but that is rare. Violently inclined people will in most cases continue to be violent, no matter what promises they may make. If your concern is of a more theoretical nature, as to whether the entire phenomenon of domestic violence can be ended everywhere in the world, well, that would require extremely large changes. Since it is possible for the human race to become extinct, it is also possible to end domestic violence.

I arrested my husband this weekend for assault which happened 12 days ago. I was afraid that it would be too late. However, the policeman told me assault charges can be filed for up to a year. Obviously, if you have pictures and/or witnesses, it would help your case.

Answer There is no way for us to know the answer to your question as not everyone reports abuse.

I say the ages 4 years old to 12 years old.

Short of cutting off communication, the only thing we can suggest is to hang upimmediately every time he does it. Keep a diary. You might need the information later. u should call the police every time

Avoid him altogether and have absolutely no contact with him. Change your phone number, email, consider moving if you can do so. Ignore his requests for contact; if he threatens you, notify the police. Put as much physical distance between him and your family as you possibly can.

If you can afford to (especially if there are children involved) discuss your situation with a trained counselor. Do not attempt to appease your ex or persuade him; by maintaining contact with him, you allow yourself to remain open to his mechanisms and being manipulated by him.

Answer Totally ignore the narcissist. Have only contact that is mandated by the court. Do not speak with the N unless you have to and then only provide as short an answer as possible. Do not answer phone calls, e mails, US Mail, text messages. Do not talk about the N to others (he will assume that you still care if you are speaking about him). Avoid any third party contact with the N. I cannot stress enough that you need to REMOVE any narcissistic supply that you provide to the N. NO CONTACT. NO CONTACT. NO CONTACT. Have absolutely no reaction to his outbursts, remarks, acts of kindness or any other type of attempted contact he may make toward you or persons close to you. Once you take away ALL NARCISSISTIC SUPPLY, the N will move on to find other sources and will eventually leave you alone. If you must have contact because of children, keep it as minimal as is possible. Do not say "hello" or "good bye." Provide yes or no answers and if possible let the N know that you have totally moved on and are no longer even the slightest bit interested in him or anything to do with him. If it kills you, do not engage at all with the N. When the time is appropriate, you should tell children the truth about the N and at all costs, provide the APPROPRIATE EXAMPLE for your children to follow. Teach your children empathy, even empathy for the N...

How do you deal with it?? You don't.. MOVE ON.. IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE. They will eventually get the message and find a new victim. Celebrate when they are gone ...... When God removes someone from your life -- that is for a reason -- do NOT run after them....

tell someone who can help. A teacher, a friends parent, an abuse hotline, department of human services, a doctor or a policeman. keep talking to people til someone helps you.

Stay mentally strong I was also abused when I was a kid it wasnt easy I felt depressed

If you are in a relationship GET OUT!!!!!! because it can only get worse as for him sexually harassing you...you need to tell someone. I'm pretty sure that sexual harassment is against the law. If it comes to the worst,... call the police and if he tries to rape you beat him up and kick him in the huh huhs u know whats. If he tells you he will kill you or your family if u tell dont listen to him i have had someone tell me that b4 and i told anyways and they got into a lot of trouble if he comes back and does it again do watever it takes to make him stop (idont mean murder) why dont you try threatening him? Tell him that if he doesnt stop you going to call the police and if you need someone to talk to you can talk to whomever sometimes it helps to talk to a complete stranger(a counselor) your parents or a friend i wish you luck and write back if any of these work but b4 you try any of these rell him no very loudly and agressively if he doesnt listen try to get him to stop by doing anything ok i rlly hope you can make him stop i hate boys like this and cant stand them hope the best 4 u :) :) :)

On a additional note; if he is sending you email etc or something that (he thinks) can't be traced, the police can trace it. Sexual harassment is illegal in every form, whether it's in person or online. Talk to your parents.