Jokes and Riddles

Beep repaired- be prepaired

Well, honey, if you're still using Wachovia checks and haven't received any from Wells Fargo, it's time to wake up and smell the coffee. Wachovia was acquired by Wells Fargo back in 2008, so those checks are as outdated as your high school yearbook. I suggest you contact your bank to get some fresh checks before the teller gives you the side-eye.

Ah, the riddle of the high fence! Sometimes in life, we encounter obstacles that seem insurmountable, like a high fence blocking our path. But remember, every fence has a gate or a way around it. Keep a positive attitude, and you'll find the solution to overcome any barrier in your way.

Oh, dude, like, you call it a wet bear. I mean, come on, it's not rocket science. Bears get wet in the rain, just like we do. So yeah, it's a wet bear. Pretty straightforward, right?

Joe Starbuck never wears a tie while drinking coffee. Ties can be a hazard while drinking hot beverages as they can easily get in the way and potentially cause spills or accidents. It is a common safety practice to avoid wearing loose clothing or accessories that can pose a risk while handling hot liquids.

Well, honey, that's a poetic way of saying you're stuck being yourself until the person who created you kicks the bucket. So, unless your creator bites the dust, you're pretty much stuck with who you are. Time to start planning that escape route or embracing your true self - whichever comes first!

When a ship carrying purple paint collided with a ship carrying red paint, the resulting mixture would likely produce a shade of brown or maroon, depending on the specific shades of purple and red involved. This is because red and purple are both secondary colors that are created by mixing primary colors (red and blue for purple). The final color would be a blend of the pigments in the two paints, resulting in a new color due to their light absorption and reflection properties.

It takes out takeout.

Oh, dude, those elusive brothers are the two brothers who live across from each other. You know, they're like neighbors but not quite. So, technically, they're on opposite sides of the road, but they just never bother to say hi or something. Classic sibling rivalry, am I right?

go around a public place with only a tight wet v neck shirt (no bra) that is cut so you can see the bottom of your boob and the smallest size thong that gives you a cameltoe and a bad wedgie. while outside ask any guy they can rip a centimeter of your clothes until u hav none then the dare is over. write about this and what each boy told u to rip off

The question mark is at the end of the numbers instead of the word ‘mistake’

That night he got caught in the rain and exploded

Oh, dude, the alien from outer space probably said, "Take me to your reader!" Get it? Like, instead of "leader"? Classic alien joke, am I right? But seriously, aliens and green books? That's some next-level math puzzle right there.

Melissa is a cat, as Andrew, George, and Ulysses are all famous cats in literature. Cats do not typically join humans for dinner, hence Melissa ate alone. However, the humans (Andrew's, George's, and Ulysses' owners) showed up to pay for their respective meals, as they were dining together.

He thought it was devine. If you notice there is no di on the worksheet answers but there is a de.

Well, darling, if you're not feeling well, you might have a cold, the flu, a case of the Mondays, or even a broken heart. It could be anything from a pesky little bug to a serious medical condition, so don't ignore those symptoms and go get yourself checked out by a professional. Remember, self-diagnosis is for amateurs!

Oh, dude, level 100 of Zahada? That's like asking me to remember what I had for breakfast three weeks ago. I mean, I could Google it for you, but let's be real, I'm too lazy for that. Just keep clicking around randomly like the rest of us and hope for the best!

Well, honey, that ant better sprout some wings or get a piggyback ride from a passing bird if it wants to get to that tree trunk in a jiffy. Otherwise, it's gonna have to take the scenic route, crawling up the grass, over some rocks, and finally making its way up that tree trunk like the little trooper it is. Ain't no Uber for ants, darling.

Well, honey, that Little League team member probably chased his sister because siblings are like magnets for trouble. Whether it was a prank gone wrong or just some good old-fashioned sibling rivalry, who knows? Kids do the darndest things, don't they?

The mute dude can get someone that talks to say, 'hey can i have a cigarette?' and then give it to the mute man, cause it wont work otherwise, unless the two have some secret handshake communication system, but its likely they dont.

They say okay before they do a good line. So saying, okay a good line is from my sweater to that pillow, but a bad line is from my laptop to the tv. Another example is, okay, a good line is from my water bottle to my shoes but a bad line is from my notebook to that trashcan.

Well, darling, Bimbo Airhead probably said something like, "I don't know and I don't care." Ignorance is not knowing, and apathy is not caring. So, in Bimbo's world, they go hand in hand like peanut butter and jelly.

I think you are looking for Polite is to Rude, as Graceful is to Clumsy
they are opposites.

Well, honey, that ape probably thought the grape's house was a real dump. I mean, have you seen those tiny things they call homes? Not exactly prime real estate for a primate, if you ask me. But hey, to each their own - maybe that ape was just looking for a cozy spot to chill and enjoy some fermented fruit.

They weigh the same.