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Abusive Families
An abusive family is one whose member or members may be suffering physical, psychological mistreatment and even sexual abuse inflicted by other members of the family. Sadly, some children grow up in these families thinking that such atmosphere is normal.
218 Questions
Why are children physical and emotional abused?
It all comes down to the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would have others treat you. In other words, if you beat someone, you need to expect and accept that someone will beat you.
Because beating hurts.
Because if your child goes to school and tells a teacher about it,then the teacher will call DCF and your child will be taken away to foster care and you could get arested for assulting a child
I have a good answer.
Kind of.
There are so many reasons why parents shouldn't beat their children- assuming those parents want their children to become healthy and happy and what not. If the parents want their kids to suffer- beating them is probably a good idea. It's hard for me to explain why kids suffer when their parents physically abuse them. For one thing it causes the abused child to find ways to cope with the issue, and often the child adapts behaviors that don't help to create a good life, such as becoming afraid of people. There's a relatively complex psychological explanation, but it's actually a loaded question- as in there is a lot of room for discussion of the answer. So if you really want a decent answer for this question, read some books. Maybe a red book I've looked into before called Bradshaw on: The Family. Or some other books about psychology and childhood.
Additional answer
Firstly, the third answer from the top does not suggest why it's wrong to beat kids - just that you don't want to get caught doing it!! Weird!
Secondly, I've not seen the slightest evidence that slapping a child is bad for it. When people talk of beating they make it sound as though you are setting about the child with clubs. That IS bad. But a slap ain't.
Parents abuse their children because they themselves were abused when young. Their brain is wired from such a young age to be violent. Now as a parent themselves, they treat their children the same way they were treated by their parents, by beating them up. While a child grows older and begins to develop his or her personality, it triggers inside of the parent rage, because it threatens their ego's. They sabotage the child's development to keep the child subservient.
AnswerThere is something in Jungian Psychology called the negative mother complex. It describes the situation. The abused child is most probably the one that has a desire for independence, the one that is healthy and can move on without her. The negative mother wants a constant control over her children, to the degree that she had whilst they were young. As they grow older, and prepare to get jobs, go to college and have families, she becomes angry and jealous. The child becomes abused both emotionally and physically by the mother, so that she can further control them and their lives. Many children do give in to mothers' like this, and report back to them several times a week. They will always remain 'children' to the mother.
AnswerI'm not talking from experience because I came from a very happy home, but I do have friends who have been abused. Often it's the weaker child, the child that has some small handicap that is abused. It could also be that the abuser recognises faults of himself/herself in the child. Finally it could be pure jealousy. Whatever the reason it is the abuser who has the problem but unfortunately the damage is done before the child is old enough to realise this.
AnswerI would suspect that the mother has a chemical brain imbalance or other possible mental problems. The child she singles out for abuse may be a difficult child, or they may not LIKE themselves or their spouse and that child REMINDS them of that person they hate. There are many reasons why parents do what they do to their children. Whether or not you are a member of that family, you should contact an agency in your state that deals with abuse. It is the FAULT of the mother, NOT the child. Sometimes the mother may convince the child that they are "bad" and the child may not even realize that such treatment is WRONG. Help if you can, for everyones sake.
AnswerTo divide her children so that she will always have an ally. By doing this she knows that she can rely on support from one of the other siblings to help abuse the isolated child. This person(the abuser) has their own problems wether it is emotional or mental, some people just get off on being mean. If there is a willing sibling(witness) to the abuse, an older and stronger family member, preferibly another adult, have them take note of the abuse. Many times nobody will say anything for the fear of retalliation. You will need solid evidence and the deterimination of the other members of the family to make any action work. This is a seroius situation that can't be committed without the intention of seeing all the way through. Reporting this to the right authorities would be the thing to do.
AnswerThere are many things that would make a mother abuse only one child in the family. Sadly, I can speak from experience and although it is painful to speak of I will do my best to enlighten you. Sometimes, if the mother and father split and/or now hate each other she may take her anger out the child/children; or if the parents do split if one child favors or acts more like the other parent she will beat them. Also if the mother/abuser is currently or has been abused themselves she may just subconsciously think of it as a right of passage and may just be passing it on to their children. There are is also a disease or disorder I'm not sure that makes the mother want to abuse her children. The mother my also have emotional disorders such as paranoia and anger issues some of which may be genetic, that will make her want to abuse her the child that makes her the most angry. If you are being abuse please tell someone, get help. I did and it made me feel so much better about myself and released me from the prison i was in. You don't have to be afraid, there is always a way to make things better. Please go get help.
ANSWER
I think every case can have multiple dynamics and there is not just one reason or element for cause. Speaking from personal experience, I was the child that was abused by my Mother. It started around the age of 5 and lasted as long as I could defend myself...around age 15. In my case I had the misfortune of resembling in appearance and mannerisms that of her father. She was abused by her father (My Grandfather). I don't have to speculate on this because my own father told me that was the reason when I confronted him about it as an adult. He informed me that she could hardly stand to look or talk to me because I reminded her of him so much. I think the key to end the cycle of abuse is to get counseling of some sort for the victim as soon as possible. My mother never visited a counselor to address her issues with her father until she was 58 years old. I was fortunate enough to work through the abuse issues with a counselor in my 20's.
My daughter and her kids are being verbally abused..What can I do.?
Go to her with a few other family or friends and have a intervention sort of. If her kids are small have someone else with kids have a play date and get the ball rolling on getting her to realize the damage it is causing her and will cause her children. She probably has low self esteem and no confidence in herself. See if she want all of you to talk to the abuser, this is not something to let go because verbal abuse is a precusor to violence, if it hasn't already happened. Bring booklet/articles with you about the effects this has on adults and children. Bring some meeting area's she can go to for herself. Bring some that can be suggested to the abuser. Support her and help her, ask her what she would like to do about the situation, take her to abuse meetings so she can hear others stories and what happened to them and what they did. In the phone book their are numbers for abuse hotline, get them to mail her a questionaire so she can see it with her own eyes, if you can get ahold of one at the local womans shelter or the like. Please don't give up, the only hope she has are people like you that care.
Who is more likely to be a victim of physical abuse?
* People from actual enemy countries, such as Germans in Allied countries in both World Wars. * 'Outsider groups' - that is groups that are not seen as fully 'belonging' to mainstream society. There is often a lot of ignorance about them and it is easy to demonize them, for example, Jews, gypsies, gays. This is particularly true if there are long-standing prejucides against them.
How do you help your son who is being emotionally abused by his wife?
If you just do not like how your ex-husband talks to your son, that might not be a form of abuse that would be legally recognized. It may just be a matter of some difference in philosophical opinion between you and your husband. Perhaps (for all I know) you are a Republican and he is a Democrat, and you interpret this as mental abuse. However, if your ex-husband is truly abusing your son, you should be able to obtain a restraining order from a court, that will legally prohibit him from talking to your son or even getting close to him. Failing that, you can still talk to your son yourself, and help him to understand what is going on. There are not always easy solutions to these kinds of situations and you may just have to do the hard work of preparing your son to deal with mentally abusive people - and we all meet such people in the course of our lives.
Dave pelzers mother is a sick, messed up woman whos desprate and to get rid of her anger is to be drunk and child abuse Dave pelzer and divorce man and hurt Dave she made Dave drink drugs like ammonia and breath gas and play a devil game called gas chamber and Dave pelzers mother stabbed him and trys to burn him and make him strave to death.
How many people suffer from domestic violence in a year?
Estimates range from 960,000 incidents of violence against a current or former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend per year to three million women who are physically abused by their husband or boyfriend per year.
What do you do when your family hates you?
Unfortunately you can't pick your family but family is all you have when push comes to shove.I dont know what your history is ,maybe you have a right to hate your family but if its only a petty thing try to make things right.All families need a hero,someone to step up and do the right thing.Life is short I have firsthand experience with bad choices ,family and death.Step back and look at your situation.Maybe you need to talk to a professional to help you or maybe someone you trust.
GOOD LUCK
While I agree that it is a good if you can get along with family, the truth is that sometimes a person's family is too toxic to continue to associate with. IT'S A MYTH THAT ALL FAMILIES ARE GOOD. In my job, I see many families that I wouldn't wish on someone. Really horrible people that only care about using others, conning others out of money, physically abusive, criminals etc. If you have a family like that, you have to distance yourself. It's a myth that everyone can turn to their family in times of trouble. Sometimes, their family IS their trouble and they are better off taking their chances alone instead of allowing negative, destructive people invade their life. Sometimes healing means moving on.
i know how it is but i have no idea wat to do.i get really sad and insulted but dont have the guts to speak up, so SPEAK UP AND LIVE YOUR LIFE.
Is it illegal for your step dad to hit you?
United Kingdom
Nobody should hit you. I'm not sure where you live, but in England, its not illegal to strike a child, but it is to leave a mark. If your over 12, it's actually assult. Its likely that if you were to report this to someone, social services would become involved and monitor the situation at home. I'm assuming your mum lives with you? Have a word with her when your alone. Tell her how it makes you feel. If you don't get anywhere, don't suffer in silence. Talk to a teacher..or an adult you trust.
United States
Generally, yes. Generally, a step parent has no legal rights regarding the child and that includes physical punishment. The biological parent should handle punishment.
Physical punishment should never be administered by a step parent unless both biological parents have agreed to allow the step parent to mete out physical punishment. When a biological father has objected to a step-father striking his child against his wishes he not only has the right to object but also the right and obligation to report physical abuse to the proper authorities (the family court with jurisdiction over the case). If the situation is serious enough it may result in a change of custody once the court has reviewed the situation.
It should be noted that legal rights and step parents don't become an issue in most blended families and society in general is casual about the relationship between children and step parents. The issue arises when the legal rights of a step-parent are questioned due to some circumstances (such as the one brought here) and found wanting. A step-father is not a legal guardian unless he legally adopts the child. He has no right to impose his view of parenting and physical punishment on another parent and child, especially over the objections of the biological parent who has parental rights.
What are the statute of limitations in Va for filing domestic abuse?
I arrested my husband this weekend for assault which happened 12 days ago. I was afraid that it would be too late. However, the policeman told me assault charges can be filed for up to a year. Obviously, if you have pictures and/or witnesses, it would help your case.
Is calling someone a thief considered abuse?
- If you can't prove this person actually stole anything then yes, it's abuse and it's also slander! If that person gets tired of you accusing them or spreading the rumor they have stolen they can take you to court. It's called "Defamation of Character."
- Unless you actually witness someone stealing it's very difficult to prove a person has stolen anything.
Can you break an apartment lease agreement if there is domestic violence involved in the household?
This will depend on one, whether or not you live in public housing (section 8/HUD) and two, what state you are in.
If you live in public housing, VAWA allows you to break your lease without any penalties.
If you are not in public housing, this will depend on your state. You may want to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline. They can direct you to an advocacy group in your state that can help you with the process and answer any questions.
Be it a man or woman it is called a simple term of 'woman hater.' Generally people who are women haters have been hurt once or more in their past by a woman and they tend to zero in on that trauma instead of getting past that trauma and going forward into the future knowing there are good women out there and not all are bad. Both women and men can be woman haters.
Answer:
A misogynist is a person who hates or has contempt for women or girls. The term comes from the Greek words misos (hatred) and gynē (woman). Some people can exhibit the same type of condition but directed at men or boys, this is misandry.
If you hate your father because he really bothers you what will you do?
* Hate is a very strong word. If your father does not constantly verbally attack you or physically attack you in any way and only asks that you abide by the rules of the home then there needs to be an adjustment on your part. Parents put a roof over their children's heads; feed them; make sure they have good medical care; have them educated and give them love, but set standard rules of: doing your homework and getting decent grades; telling you who you can have as friends and what friends are a bad influence on you; warning you about sexually transmitted diseases; drugs (alcohol included); to punish you when you are disrespectful (cheeky) towards parents; asking you to do chores around the home does not constitute any father to be labeled as a poor father, but a father that loves and cares for his child or children. Did it ever occur to you that you bother your father? Instead of fighting with your father try sitting down with your father and express how you feel. Especially teens are between boy and man or girl and woman and these are tough years because the teen feels they are mature enough to handle themselves when their parents, from their own wisdom know they are not. Remember, your father was young once too and his father probably had many rules for him to follow. Give your father a chance and ask him to tell you stories about when he was growing up and you just might see there are some similar feelings between you and your father. Be mature enough to try it.
Trust is something that doesn't happen over night. It takes time to build up. The amount of quality and quantity of time spent with someone is key to building trust. Go out of your way to help the person. Prove to them you care.
- 13 years old is a difficult time for the 13 year old and the parents. At 13 teens try to be independent and do as they wish, but they are far from wise enough to make their own decisions in life so the parents will try their best to keep you from making mistakes or getting into trouble. In other words, you are a young bird using their wings for the first time. Also 'sibling rivalry' (you and your brother not getting along) is very normal and you may think your little brother doesn't like you, but it's not true. Your parents love you very much and sometimes when they feel they are always having to get after you for something they get frustrated and say things they don't mean. Many young people (even when I was your age) have heard their parents say, 'There are times I wish you weren't born.' These words are said out of frustration, but literally not true. It is time you started to behave yourself and realize that your parents and little brother have feelings too. There is no doubt that your little brother looks up to you so you should spend a little more time with him such as playing sports with him; take him to a movie or playing video games at home with him even when you may not feel like it. Try doing chores around the house for your parents; don't be rude or mouth off to your parents and realize when they are disciplining you they love you enough to do so and keep you safe and out of trouble. Don't worry so much; your parents and brother love you, but it's you that has to change. Start with 'I'm sorry and I'll try to do better.'
Why do dad hurt mum when they go to sleep?
- Your dad is not hurting your mother when they go to sleep. That's private time for parents after the children have gone to bed. They may discuss certain problems either they have or are concerned about their children or they may use this time to simply cuddle up together.
Catherine Roerva Christen Pelzer was Dave Pelzer's mother, who passed away in 1992.
Catherine was an alcoholic who had been drinking from the age of 13. Brought up in the Mormon community of Salt Lake City, she would hide in the outhouse during Prohibition to wince down bootleg whiskey. Her parents were divorced, which made them outcasts in that religious community, and Catherine was frequently locked in a closet, denied food, and told how despicable she was.
Catherine suffered from alcoholism and was mentally ill. Her mental illness was Borderline Personality Disorder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder ('Witch'), which is characterized by an irrational fear of rejection and abandonment and self-hatred as a result of surviving a childhood that required complete submission to a hostile or sadistic caregiver (pg 131) Christine Ann Lawson of 'Understanding the Borderline Mother'.
For a picture and more information about Catherine, see http://thequeenandking.blogspot.com/2009/08/did-dave-pelzers-mother-from-child.html
How do you call someone in a different state?
Find out the area code of the state dial "1" the area code then the person's number. If you do not know the number you can call directory assistance, 1-411 for both local and national numbers. THEN EAT YUMMY CHOCOLATE
How can you runaway and not get caught if you are only 13 years of age?
- If you are sexually or physically abused then you can make a phone call in the United States to Child Aid and in Canada 'Child Welfare' (just phone the operator to direct your call. They will come to your parents home and discuss the matter with them; check out the living conditions; perhaps talk to the neighbors and if Child Aid feels you should be removed they will take the you and put you in Foster Care. If a 13 year old simply wants to run away because they are spoiled; do not feel they have to abide by the rules of their parent's home; not do their homework or their parents are not happy with some of the friends he/she hangs around with this is no reason to run away from home. If it turns out you simply don't like being told what to do and think the streets are a good place to live then think again! The streets are 'mean streets' just waiting for a young person like yourself as there are predators out there that are into pornography; prostitution and other unfavorable things that can happen to a young person. Two days and nights on the streets would have most young people coming from a good home running back to their home as fast as possible. If you leave your parents have the right to phone the police and look for you. If you are mature you would realize that your parents love you; want to keep you safe and give you rules to abide by so you are a healthy well adjusted young adult that is confident in life and they would be worried half to death if you ran away. If you are not treated poorly and continue to run away then the police have a record of you being a 'run away' and eventually the courts will decide what to do with you and you won't like it!
What form of abuse is when your mate is always saying he does not remember anything he says or do?
tisting his words, lying, cheating. Depends what he lies about really...
What would you do if your stepmom abuses you?
It depends on how badly but if its really bad call the Police!
2. But if you are of school age, then a school counselor will help.
Another adult relation may be of assistance, but this will need caution.
But you need be sure that the 'abuse' is unusual in your peer group.
Discussions with school mates may help, but again be cautious.
In Kentucky is it mandatory to report spouse abuse?
- Spousal abuse is almost always hidden by closed doors and family and friends may not be aware of what is going on. Therefore it is not mandatory in Kentucky or any other State to report spousal abuse, but, the victim should report it to the police.
Do father mostly sleep with his really daughter or step daughter?
Fathers do not sleep with their daughters.
