Improbable History

Despite Alekums claims below, the plashooms are members of a secret organisation with many branches throughout this world and beyond. Some of the earliest operations carried out by the plashooms have been attributed to the knights Templar and the Illuminati which has brought the plashooms in to the public spotlight. In order for the society to remain operational it is imperative that we remain anonymous.

We have been persecuted during the last 2000 Millennia for being green....."it's not easy being green" has been quoted by many of our members over the years and such quotes as this one and similar are being seen in the general use in the media relating to "climate change".
We are deeply offended by the allegations of biological association with the haggis as we look nothing like those ugly short haired bandy legged screechers and have in fact been at war with them for over 5 centuries due to a shortage of suitable hills in the Highlands of Scotland, forcing us the seek refuge around the world and beyond. And we don't have shifty eyes, they're just very pale purple which some find off-putting.

We would be happy to hear from the many Plashoom tribes around the world and we can be contacted in the usual ways.
Here are a few lines submitted by Alekum:

" Us Plashooms live a simple life. We work our fields, thinking that it's gonna be alright. Then we get this notice from the government, saying that our land's been restricted. Then things turn bad. Our prayers are never answered. But our crops still die. Eventually, it reaches the point when we can no longer keep the truth from our families. "

We are aware that this is a common folk song, that is sung by a break off sect of the Plashoom family who can be likened to the Amish, the favourite people of human society. They became extremely popular some 5 centuries ago after a disagreement with the Plashoom Higher Council (PHC) over how truly great they were. Some considered an attempt to measure their greatness an act of sacrelege.

Although we have previously asked for Plashoom tribes to get in touch, we would especially want to hear from the particularly great sect aforementioned. We're not their friends, but we really want to be, due to how great they are.


A Plashoom is a small mammal, a close relation of the haggis. It has a roughly spherical body, attached directly to a head with no neck. The head is fairly flat, with two small, shifty-looking eyes on the front, with a flat nose between. They have two pairs of legs, and one leg of each pair is shorter than the other. With males of the species, the shorter side is the left side, and vice versa with females. Biologists theorize that the Plashoom and Haggis both originate from the part of the Eurasian plate of Pangaea that would later become Scotland and Northern Island, and that their differently-sized legs are the result of millennia of evolution on the Scottish highlands and the hill-lands in the north of Ireland. Due to the fact that Plashoom taste horrible, and are mostly inedible, Plashoom have never before been of much interest to man, and are only studied now by biologists who aren't imaginative enough to do anything else. However, Plashoom have been sought by eccentric collectors over the past century, and due to this forced migration of some Plashoom, they have become spread out across the world, and their have been sightings in all of: Devon, England; California, USA; Puebla, Mexico; Zaire, Angola; Red Ruthenia, Poland; and Thrace, Greece.

PLASHOOM is spelt all in capitals not in lower case.

PLASHOOM!!!

Dream On!!!!!

Answer:

As soon as they learn to fly.

The man whose job it was to take that reading (Farnham J. Groves) couldn't get to work that morning.

He was involved in a court case concerning the salvage rights to the alien space ship he had found crashed there four months previously.

He was an employee of both the US Parks Department and the Canadian Meteorolgical Office.

Under Canadian law he was entitled to claim salvage rights on any vessels he found at the bottom of the lakes (he worked all five Great Lakes, but only four are shared by both the US and Canada).

However, under American law he was only entitled to salvage rights on any boats or ships which he found.

He was claiming that the American government was acting illegally in denying that the alien craft was a 'ship'... his attorney made the claim that all science fiction of the time called alien crafts "space ships", but the Attorney General counter-claimed that the correct term was "spaceship" - and thatword was not in the temperature-taker's terms of employment.

Expert lexicographers were called as witnesses. The US Attorney General called Mr Murdoch Kinnington, of Merriam-Websters, who backed the term 'spaceship. Mr Groves called The Duke of Wensleyday, from The Oxford English Dictionary who insisted that 'space ship' was the correct form. He also produced affadavits from Queen Victoria who stated that under the Law and Language Act of 1494 it was "the Queen's English" she was 'ye Finale and Onlie Arbtier in All Interpretations of ye Language and Her Majesties Law' and that this Act had never been repealed in the former Colonies.

The judge found in favour of Mr Groves - but only after taking a night to consider his judgment. In the meantime, the vessel (and the bodies of the 7 crew 'members' reported to have been aboard) were secretly removed from the courthouse by persons unknown and was never seen since - although there are many rumours that it is in a secret second-level basement of the Smithsonian Institute.

Mr Groves died a bankrupt as he had paid his lawyers in advance and, although he had been paid by a scrap metal merchant for the vessel, the check was stopped before he could cash it.

For the record, the temperature on October 30th 1984 had been 2.13º centigrade - in keeping with the seasonal averages over many years, and on November 1st it had risen to 11.04º centigrade. It has been speculated that this temperature rise was due to another alien craft having come to the lake seeking its crashed colleagues, as the night before he found the first vessel the lake had shown a temperature of 13.76º. No scientific theory can account for the mysterious rise in temperature.

Mr Groves, who had been the first underwater employee of the US Parks Department lost all interest in his work and sank into a depression. He was fired shortly afterwards and the Parks Department ceased co-operating with the Canadians. The Canadians paid Mr Groves a small pension and allowed him to live out his days in the small house which went with his job.

L'Universitie de Quebec continued to take the temperature recordings but refused to release them to the public to spite the US Parks Department.

.......

Note

This is the first time I am revealing what I am about to say. My great grandmother, Mrs Elisabeth Livotney, was Mr Grove's assistant and she took the reading on the night he was unable to take it. She recorded in her diary that "three of the lakes were remarkably similar in temprature (sic) ... Erie - 2,57; Superior - 2.59º; Michigan - 2,58. Huron and Ontario were both 2.41. I only just got to Lake Ontario in time to take the reading as I was delayed by elk on the road and an encounter with a small group of moonshiners."

(My grandmother never did learn the correct spelling of 'temperature'). I am editing her diaries for publication.

.......

Apology

Although the question asks for the 'precise' temperature, the best scientific instruments of the time could only give two decimal places.

The legend of 'Drake's Drum' says that if England is ever again in peril, the drum of Sir Francis Drake should be beaten and a grate wind will blow the invaders away.

another is of King Arthur, that if Britain faces defeat, King Arthur will rise from Avalon to lead his knights into battle once more.

The Hessian s believed that Charlemagne and his knights lay sleeping in Oldenburg, ready to wake when the Antichrist threatens Christendom.

The Spanish say that when the Moores invaded Spain, Saint James himself came to fight for them. they call him Matamoros, which means something along the lines of 'Moore killer'

Of course there was Lords Nelson and Wellington from the times of Napoleon and Sharpe and Hornblower from fiction.

hundreds from the world wars and since.

But who can say who the first one was, how far back do you go, to the Greeks and Romans, earlier than them?

i think you should re-categorize your question

Gilgamesh, known as Bilgameṣ in the earliest text, was the fifth king of Uruk (Early Dynastic II, first dynasty of Uruk), ruling circa 2700 BC, according to the Sumerian king list. According to the Tummal Inscription, Gilgamesh, and his son Urlugal, rebuilt the sanctuary of the goddess Ninlil, in Tummal, a sacred quarter in her city of Nippur. Gilgamesh is the central character in the Epic of Gilgamesh, the greatest surviving work of early Mesopotamian literature. In the epic his father was Lugalbanda and his mother was Ninsun (whom some call Rimat Ninsun), a goddess. Gilgamesh is described as two parts god and one part man.

In Mesopotamian mythology, Gilgamesh is credited with having been a demigod of superhuman strength who built a great city wall to defend his people from external threats and travelled to meet Utnapishtim, the sage who had survived the Great Deluge.

Think he was the first hero in history. Source Wikipedia