Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence

All hell breaks loose! An abuser wants constant control in order to control the environment around them (they feel safer.) Putting two abusers together is one giant tug-of-war not to mention being dangerous is a bad idea. Both parties should seek psychological help for their abuse problems. Marcy

It is not an easy task. Unfortunately, there is no prescription to fit all situations. It depends on your strengths, weaknesses and support systems. Sometimes it requires professional help (therapy) to start you off on the path that is right for you as an individual.

First, you have to have time out for yourself and get to know yourself. You are a strong person and you have to realize that. Once you do (with the help of psychiatrist) then you're ready to go on with your life and onto healthy relationships. Don't ever let anyone drag you down to their level. You're stronger than you think.

They feel they have power (king) if they have control over one that is more timid, or smaller, more fragile than him/herself. It is more likely for this to happen if the abuser was him/herself abused prior to their current mindset. The first obvious answer is "because otherwise they wouldn't have a victim", but there is no one reason, not even that one. Some need to control in response to some kind of inner sadism, which seems to sometimes be an abberative drive like pedophillia, unrelated to trauma. Many need to have control because the alternative is to be afraid. Some abusers see the world as a hostile, dangerous place. They seek to control it in order to avoid the threats that they believe lurk everywhere. Many abusers fear intimacy (for a variety of reasons). By controlling their partners and the relationship, they "calibrate" how close they get. Other abusers are narcissists or sadists and enjoy exerting power over others.

I've had that happen to me many times in my previous abusive relationship.Every single time they made me feel as if i was the one to blame to the point that i was beginning to think that i was going crazy! After some time i realized that it wasnt me.Also the isolation required from my partner contributed and aided this abusive behavior.

That is the exact MO of an abuser. I too was in an abusive relationship and heard those exact words your questioned. Like the person who also answered this question...I too thought I was the one to blame and was being to think I was crazy. That, however, is part of the ploy.

Red flag!!!! Leave and don't look back.

My husband is verbally abusive and physically abusive. We are separated because of a protective order. In his opinion, I provoked him to call me a "f*cking bi*ch", and other vile names. He says that I just can't let it go and stop talking. He says that my mouth gets me in trouble. He says if I just shut up everything will be fine. So yes to answer your question, verbal abusers project everything on to you when you confront them, tell you that you pushed them too far and that you are the cause of their behavior. They never take responsibility for their behavior, it is always everybody else's fault. In my case it is the courts, the DA and police, and finally his crazy, irrational wife. Although it is really hard to hear the things that a husband or significant other, who supposedly loved you said to you, you also have to realize that he won't change. And you need to take control of your own life. It only makes us stronger. If you have a chance please read: Verbally Abusive Relationships, and Controlling People by Patricia Evans. Also see her web site: http://www.verbalabuse.com/2.shtml

Yes. That's part of their "trap" that they set to bait you in. I dated someone that did this all the time. Most abusers, like my ex, fear confrontation because they know they will lose. To better arm themselves when they are forced to confront, they revise things and blame you for everything so they can railroad the discussion and avoid the blame being all on them, even they know they deserve it. If they'd only channel their energies to something more positive in life..........

You can't share premises with a physically violent abuser (batterer) and avoid harm altogether.

You can either confront him (usually involving the police and the courts), succumb to his demands (short term, inefficient, and counterproductive solution), or contract with him (which works intermittently).

Get items that cannot be replaced (photos, heirlooms, cherished Christmas ornaments, anything with sentimental value) out of the house and into either a storage unit or a friend or relative's house. This will take away much of the emotional involved in N's threats to destroy these items and help you focus on YOU and your own safety during confrontation. Keep a cell phone charged and on your person at all times when home with the N. Get a voice activated mini-recorder. Use it when N rages, and at least let N see that you have it. Mention (lie if you have to) that the last time he threatened to "[repeat some threat N made to harm you]" you got it on tape and will not hesitate to call the police and have him removed from the house should he get out of line.

The answers to this question vary as much as the degrees of the abuser's feeling of safety in doing harm or the depth of his fear. I am presently involved in this situation. Mr.B.'s fear is that society will learn he is not the man he portrays himself to be in the public eye. While I was submissive and tried for years to explain the effect his behavior had on me, now, I'm verbally combative any time he attempts to get my attention. I try to keep him confused and off-balance. He doesn't know the "safe" approach. He is confused about this new person and he fears that I'll focus the public eye on the reasons for my exit. Where I contributed to his N supply before, today I focus on diminishing his power in exactly the opposite way, in order to make the experience so totally in contrasting opposition to my normal behavior, that he has become very wary of what I might say next...or to whom. He's in unfamiliar territory. He suspects I may be capable of emulating his behavior back at him. As long as he is confused and unsure of his own safety, my bluff keeps him away from me. It's a downhome bluffing remedy. Baffle them and keep them off guard until you get out the door. Intimate exposure of their true self without directly stating a threat...which would foster competition and a real battle. I am challenging his bravado and depending on his real cowardice to get me through the next few weeks. So far, it's working to my advantage.

There are too many variables in such cases to give any single answer. It depends on the severity, the resilience of the victim, whether or not it caused Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, if the victim received competent and timely therapy or not, etc.

Some victims might recover in a few months after getting away from the situation, some victims may take decades to recover, and some may never completely recover.

We just had a question on this site asking "How do you tell your brother to calm down?" which was answered in some detail, beginning with the statement that it is emotional abuse to tell someone to calm down. So it would seem that if someone is telling others to calm down, you could cite that answer, or ask them to look it up themselves under the exact working that I have quoted. Of course, people will not necessarily be convinced, just by reading something on the internet, however, it is still better to be able to refer someone to a published opinion rather than just your own opinion.

beacuse their to weak . all they can do is hurt women beacuse they know we cant hurt them so when a man who protects us knows he will get hurt . And they have no respect for woman so they stumble and eventually fall

Wear a long sleeved shirt put a bunch of ketchup packets underneath the sleeve(make sure you can easily cut the packets open with a knife) grab a knife, get your parents or friends attention and yell suicide and cut the ketchup packets so the ketchup explodes everywhere.

Yes, children can develop Stockholm Syndrome in situations where they are taken from one parent to the other. This can happen due to the child's perceived dependence on the taking parent for their survival and safety, leading them to develop a bond with that parent as a coping mechanism.

It is not appropriate to use the term "retarded" to describe someone's intellectual abilities. If you are concerned about your friend's cognitive functioning, it may be helpful to approach the topic with sensitivity and seek professional advice from a healthcare provider or mental health professional.

Do narcissists ever let go of a victim? The answer yes and no. As long as the narc feels you have any intrest in them and you can be manipulated by them such as guilt tripping, feeling sorry for them, will allow them to conjole, or cause any emotions in you whether anger, sympathy, empathy or any attention they will not let go or write you off. Narcs are users period. As long as you are a source of supply for anything they will try and add you to their list of suppliers. The only way to be written off by a narc is if you are replaced with a better source of whatever they were using you for, such as money,sex, service to immediate family members, friends or someone they consider a trophy to enhanse their public image. When with a narc, you will feel like yard dog, taxi driver, money supplier, dildo with a heart beat, door Matt and for all you supply to them will be taken for granted. They are ingrates and feel entitled to all they can get and have no remorse or gratitude.

Abusers enjoy abusing others because the abuser likes the control they have over the abused. Meaning, when they are hitting a man/woman/child/etc, they feel powerful and controlling, which is what they want. The abusers are usually people who crave control in their life and know they can have it by abusing others who are "weaker", not only physically but mentally. This is especially true when it comes to men abusing women (which is more often); the man wants the control over the woman, so he beats her, some men even get pleasure out of it, some men are just raised to feel that women are no better than dirt and should be treated as such, sometimes its in the culture, etc. It all boils down to how they are raised. If they grew up in an environment that had abuse in it (mental, physical, emotional, etc) they are most likely to grow up and show signs of that. Overall, its all about control with those people.

The number of hours for anger management required by the court typically varies depending on the specifics of the case and the judge's discretion. It is best to consult with your attorney or court official to determine the exact requirements for your situation.

Both Anger Management the movie and psychology focus on understanding and managing anger in a healthy way. They both explore how anger can impact relationships, communication, and personal well-being. They also emphasize the importance of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and effective coping strategies.

To avoid being an aggressive person, practice active listening and empathize with others, manage your emotions through techniques like deep breathing or counting to 10 before responding, and communicate assertively rather than aggressively to express your concerns and boundaries clearly. Additionally, seek professional help or therapy if you struggle to control your anger or aggression.

Maslow's Hierarchy of needs states that we all have the desire to be accepted, needed and loved. These needs have to be met. When we lack the physical and emotional connection with others it makes feel like no one really cares. Doing things for people less fortunate sometimes helps. We ALL have purpose and meaning even when it doesn't seem like anyone cares. If you feel desperate or if you feel like you might hurt yourself intentionally... PLEASE go to this web site. You are NOT alone and you shouldn't feel that way. http:/suicidehotlines.com

No, it is never ok to pick on or make fun of individuals with intellectual disabilities. Everyone deserves respect and kindness, regardless of their abilities. It is important to be understanding, empathetic, and inclusive towards all individuals.

The term "retarded" is considered outdated and offensive. Instead, it's important to focus on understanding a person's individual strengths and challenges through proper assessments and evaluations conducted by qualified professionals, such as psychologists, to determine if they have any intellectual or developmental disabilities. Using person-first language and respectful terminology is crucial in fostering inclusive and respectful communication.

Advice for anyone in a relationship is not appropriate unless the person asked you for advice. If this person asked you, then the advice would be, if you are being exploited you must get out of the relationship. A relationship should be mutual. Exploitation is harmful and you must remove yourself from the position that is vulnerable to that harm. Exploiters aren't interested in your welfare so no discussion with an exploiter is necessary.

Two defense mechanisms squid use is their ink sac, and also their ability to camouflage. Squid can also move really quickly through their siphon, and jet propulsion.

It may be helpful to express your concerns about their partner's behavior, using specific examples, and suggest that they seek professional advice or counseling. You should approach the topic with empathy and support, and be prepared for them to react defensively. Ultimately, the decision to label their partner as narcissistic should be left to a mental health professional.

Drug treatment usually consists of a controlled setting where a drug addict can deal with addiction in a safe environment. There are several models for drug combined with length of stay. Several options with duration of time in drug and alcohol treatment centers. Most common is a anywhere from 30 to 90 days followed with some sort of aftercare and relapse prevention plan. There is a commonly excepted idea that the longer the stay in treatment that there is a higher rate of success.

Personally, I would stand my ground and let God handle it. But that is up to the individual. The last time someone tried to hurt me an angel violently tured him around and sent him on his way. That was a sight. The Lord has protected me all my life so I don't worry about this kind of thing happening to me. If you are close to God as he wants you to be in His way through Jesus His son, you don't have to worry about this. If not, you're on your own.