Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence

Even once is too many times! Abuse in a relationship, whether physical or psychological, is unacceptable at any level and to any degree. She should leave immediately and not return unless, and until, he seeks and undergoes "successful" professional counseling. To others that are not physically/mentally abused the answers seem so simple, but aren't. The abuser is crafty and takes all confident and independence away from this woman. All races, cultural backgrounds, the poor, rich, successful and average person can be caught in an abusive relationship. It has nothing to do with the victim being needy, no confidence, lack of education or lacking guts. Sometimes if there are children involved the abuser can use the children as ransom. Abusers are crafty enough to win their victim over and little by little gain control, so the victim is basically blind-sided. The victim is terrified, and where does she/he go? There are Abused Women's Centers for the victim to go (no returning home once you go there) that will protect her and her children and a counselor that will even go to court with her/him. There are also Abusive groups for men who are abused mentally/physically. The laws in the U.S. and Canada don't protect particularly women to a great degree. In British Columbia the RCMP are working closely with Domestic Abuse. The problem is, unless these women have some place to go (especially when they have children) they often will not press charges against their abuser when the police come to door if the incident was reported by a neighbor. The abuser will usually only be in jail a day or two to cool his heels, but once out the abuse is even worse. In British Columbia the RCMP have the right to arrest a man or woman who is abusive if they are suspicious and place them under arrest, hand-cuff them and put them in jail for a couple of days. Women abusers are more likely to back-off if they are arrested, but males are not likely to back-off. The laws are changing slowly. Women should go to their local Abused Women's Center and if they don't know where it is you can go to your local mental health and they will put you through to the proper channels. The cure is TO GET AWAY FROM THE ABUSER! The victim of abuse needs a lot of counseling to get on her feet. She needs to learn the tools of survival, how to spot another potential abusive mate and to learn she has more strength in herself and more confident than she has realized (because she's been brain-washed.) Once she surfaces to work there are times the abuser can stalk her or at least cause her some problems, but most don't bother and have simply moved on to find another victim. If there are children involved the abuser is more likely to make trouble (not because he/she loves the children) but knows that is the weak point with the victim. This means court and custody set down by the rules of the court system! I would respectfully disagree...the answer really is simple, and it is exactly as Marcy says, "The cure is to Get Away From the Abuser!" What's not so simple is recognizing that one is in an abusive relationship in the first place. Initially, most of us don't want to admit that what we're experiencing amounts to abuse. It's easy to see the problem as a temporary reaction, resulting from external forces such as losing one's job, etc. We're also apt to accept some of the blame for the abusive behavior ourselves and think that if we respond differently, the behavior will change. However, once the reality of an abusive relationship is recognized, either through one's own self awareness, or with the help of others, there is only one solution...and it really is simple. Get away from the abuser.

abuse and love may be often equated, because love can hurt a lot and as for abuse also hurts (obviously)

?? An accusation ?? Unknown what the questioner is looking for.

Abusers, male or female, nearly always come from families where abuse was the norm. That is also true of people who are attracted to abusers.

People from abusive backgrounds find themelves attracted to that sort of person because they have characteristics with which they are familiar, and that make them feel comfortable. We tend to seek out mates that mirror our parents, whether we try to or not, and we usually end up behaving as they did, as well.

One of the characteristics of abuse is that it tends to become more severe as relationships progress, and often does not show up until there is stress that triggers it. Then the abuser, not having been shown other ways of dealing with what he or she perceives as an otherwise insurmountable problem, falls back into the ways that the family of origin behaved.

If you find yourself involved with more than one abuser, it would be a good idea to extricate yourself from the situation, and perhaps speak with someone about why you seem to be attracted to that sort of person.

We can assure you that not all men are abusive.

I'm hoping this is with a willing participant (even if he claims to be reluctant). If you haven't gotten here yet, start with that.

First of all, you should both agree on what you're hoping for at the end of the process. Does he want to look like a boy in a dress for a lark for some party? Is he wearing a costume? Does he just want to look as much like a girl as possible? Will he be out in public or just there with you?

Figure out appropriate clothing, and where you can get it. Hopefully you're similar sizes, or at least you have some items that are loose enough to work. Otherwise you need to go shopping. Get a wig if his hair is short. Don't go too outlandish with the clothing unless that's your goal. Avoid sky-high heels unless you want him to fall down and break his neck. Think about what you're planning for makeup, and whether he'll need anything of his own (sharing eye makeup is gross). If you're going for a realistic work, might need some level of shapewear.

Then have him sit still and let you work your magic.

My first time as a girl, my friend picked out an above-the-knee A-line skirt, blouse, and sweater, with tights (I didn't have a ton of leg hair, but I wasn't ready to shave) and some low wedge shoes. I was close enough size wise to wear her things.. I started by putting on my girls undies, some spanx for shape, my bra, and a robe. She started with my nails, then did some light makeup (foundation, blush, mascara, lipgloss). My hair was long enough for some teasing and a floral headband to make it look girly. Then into "my" skirt for the rest of the afternoon. We both really enjoyed it.

violence happens for a reason as in people fighting between one another because of what they did or said.

Also for what they represent. As in beliefs or what they stand for.

Or sometimes racial despiutes

Well, when people get bullied they usually think of negative stuff.. like for example wanting to kill themselves... They give there values away to people like for instance their friends. They do bad things like drugs and alcohol...

But for me, they should really stick up to themselves because it really works.. It did for me.

Everywhere unfortunately.

Sadly the two can overlap. Kids are in a captive audience in the school system and things go on normally, that dealing with an adult audience, would be laughed out of court! Kids can be subjected to various forms of physical( corporal) punishment that would be unthinkable outside of say the B-Block in the Big House. Imagine getting Knuckle soup for a parking violation! There are some things called status offenses ( Hooky, underage smoking,etc) that would not even be considered CRIMES if done by adults. Finally there are certain academic situations that are virtual hot-beds for child abuse, such as music classes. Practice rooms are usually sound=proofed and often in basements well away from windows. Kids usually have these classes on a personal basis- no witnesses! really a sour chord.

• Man doesn't so much destroy nature as takes the space that the nature we know exists now for his/her own activities. Nature will go on regardless of what man does whether the result of our handiwork is good or not.
• The people burn forests, throw garbage and pollution around and do crazy stuff.
• Well that's what happens when the top predator dominates the kingdom.
• We haven't completely destroyed nature. Man was meant to be made this way. I mean if bears were the top predators I'm sure they would do the same to us. We can take over habitats because well, we are by far smarter than any species on Earth.
• Man is destroying nature by depleting natural resources and polluting the environment with waste materials.
• Man is not content with taking what he needs but all over the world man has exploited nature. Logging of natural forests and overfishing are good examples. In many cases what has been taken has not been replaced, again logging is a good example.
• Many species of animals are extinct because of man's activities. Hunting animals for sport and destroying habitats are examples.
• Humans are destroying nature by cutting down trees and using the land for pasture, also people capture endangered animals and sell them on eBay or other sites on the Internet that sell things if you do see an endangered animal on eBay please alert Greenpeace, WWF or another wild life saving service. Do some good for mother nature.

You should definitely try to talk your boyfriend into seeking professional help first and foremost.

Secondly, do not blame yourself, he is apparently going through some type of inner struggle and you are not to blame for anything because you did nothing wrong.

Talk with him about his problems (if he cares to talk about them) be supportive and understanding. If he starts to take it out on you, try to explain to him that you are not the one to blame, and he should find a professional to talk to, to find out why he is having these feelings.

We've all got problems, things in our lives that we are dealing with emotionally/mentally.

Sometimes we all need a little help, and there is no shame in seeking that help from a psychologist/therapist or support group.

In fact it makes you a stronger person when you face your problems and realize and understand that you need help.

And you yourself also need to consider a support group or just sharing your feelings with your friends and family if you already haven't.

Being in a relationship with a person that has a mental disorder and that's often suicidal is extremely difficult on many levels.

Best of luck to you, and your boyfriend.

There are too many to count. We need to teach society about behaviors and what to watch for.

the male power in society lead sexual abuse is male dominant.

Communicating with your abuser is an art form. It is called "walking on eggshells".

If you think the relationship is getting emotionally abusive no need to talk...best to walk and do it fast.

Once the abuse begins in the cycle, it is hard to get out. The longer the cycle has been spinning the more difficult to leave.

well what kind of abuse?

for instance verbal abuse could be recognized by someone distancing themselves or becoming depressed, or even violent.

physical abuse, could be recognized by bruising, scarring, or even long clothing, which could indicate that the person does not want their marks to be seen.

substance abuse is commonly recognized with, hyperactive behavior, or short attention spans, or even look for symptoms of withdrawl in case they go without.

hope i helped!

Just dont think of her. sometimes when u love someone alot u cant just let them go and even though you may not be happy in a reletionship you feel you can make it work but you know that deep down in side u cant so it hurts you alot but sometimes the things that seem to be the best are the worst things in life you just have to find it in you to let it go you can still love the person but it just cant be the love you want it to be just be freinds with the other person Because you love her for eveything she is with good and bad..

It depends on where you live. Most cities will have designated safe places. You can go to them and tell them what is going on and they are supposed to help you. Some McDonald's support this. The department of Health and Welfare will get you help. The police, firehouse, or hospital are all places people could go. In most cities there are also shelters for families or people who have been abused that helps them get back on their feet. There is also a hotline that can be called, and they can send people help. I'm not sure what it is, but it's probably easy to find on the internet or in the phone book. I don't know, but I think the best place to go would be the Department of Health and Welfare or a shelter for people who've been abused.

Abusive relationships are some of the most difficult ones to resolve. THis type of relationship assumes that one partner is abusive and continues to be so because there is no response to the abuse. The difference here centers on "self-assurance." The abusive partner continues his or her behavior because there is no response. I can not suggest how the abused party should respond because in most instances they feel diminished. This situation can only be resolved through extended counseling, if at all.

relationships should never be about control they should be about give and take, sharing your ideas wants and beliefs. If you are like that then there is no need for control. A need to control in a relationship has some under lying issues and should be spoken about with councilor.

Narcissists like to brag about their past and they also collect "victims!" Without actually saying how rotten they were to their former ex's they want you to know how important they are and I bet he/she made sure they added that THEY left their ex. It's about control! When I dated if a guy talked about his former girlfriends in a bad way (unless it was an abusive relationship) I kicked him to the curb because that part of his life should be private and he should think enough of his past ex's to keep it private. I never asked about any of my boyfriends former ex's. I heard a lot of stuff from my N about his ex. According to him, he was a saint and she an evil woman. He told me of some domestic disputes involving the law where SHE was (of course) at fault. I did some investigating after I broke up with my N. It turns out that all the things he accused her of doing were actually done by HIM! Not very pleasant stuff either... Now that we have broken up, he is telling everyone that I cheated on him...(?!) It is not true (of course). Makes me wonder what HE had been doing! People may believe him once or even twice, but anymore than that and people get the picture ... it's him! Just move on hon and thank your lucky stars you are rid of him. You're one smart girl!

When children lie about abuse, they are usually asking for attention. Also if the lie is against a step parent, the child is usually trying to break up the parents relationship;Trying to get their own parent to choose them over the new step-parent. Or the child is thinking, if they break up the current step parent relationship, their own parent will get back with their own mom/dad. Try to communicate with the child, build a trusting relationship, so that they won't try to break up the current relationship.

They can be but some of them can control their anger.

The potential for violence is many times greater, (100x or more), with someone who is angry than with someone who is not.

Violence is always caused by anger, especially when it is used against someone who is not threatening voilence themselves, (such as a girlfriend/spouse)

women look for a man that is attractive, kind, caring, sensual, passionate, a good worker, strong, and that is financially stable..