Breakups

She acts herself. I don't think that there is any "right way" to act, nor does everyone really "get over" people. They just sorta fall out of each others world. She might act aloof but friendly, caring and warm but nothing more. Probably a simple whats new with you? Some small talk and then walk away, because she doesn't need\want him in her world anymore. She probably wont stick around long. She will act herself and be nice and all that but she will make an excuse to leave. She will be neutral to you. Its hard to say though cause she may just be putting on an act to show how much shes over you. But you should be able to tell. She will start dating again...

well first practice at home make sure that you have the trick down that you want to attempt in basketball and reasure youreself that's that the move you want to do.Once you are confident enough at doing that trick try to play a little gaame like with little kids and try that trick on them so that you get comfortable doing that crossover on people. when your doing a crossover/ankle breaker try to test the person, see what they will fall for if they fall for the test when i say test meaning like a quick jab to your right or your left or a reverse between legs. If they fall for that do that trick again but this time do it for real and forget about what everyone will say if you mess up and f it goes good nice accomplishment but..... if it goes bad find another approach next time or look-up or create a new cross overs. Remeber in basketball always keep your defender off guard so he never knows what you will do either drive a few time even if her blocks you still drive because then he'll think your goin for the drive then h'ell back-up towards the hoop for the drive then you fake as if your going to the hoop the you shoot a jump shot. Peace

Stand strong girl and put this guy through the meat grinder so he'll learn a good lesson. He just stomped on your feelings and you should be angry about that. Anyone that just leaves a relationship without an expanation as to why is selfish! However, life is about learning so give him the benefit of the doubt that he could have made a bad mistake. Don't make it easy for him to come back and you stand your ground and let him know you aren't putting up with his nonsense. People respect other people that shoot from the hip and don't play games. Communication is everything in a relationship and without it there are just too many misunderstandings that end up in hard feelings and hurt hearts. QUESTIONS TO ASK: WHY DID YOU SPLIT-UP WITH ME: No matter what reasonings he gave you let him know loud and clear that he should grow up and he should have told you why he wanted to split-up and you won't accept anything less if you SHOULD get back together again. WHY DO YOU FEEL THIS WAY? (DEPENDING ON THE ANSWER HE GIVES) If he tells you that he was nervous about getting too serious with you or there was some other personal reason for leaving you, you tell him that's not a good enough excuse. Tell him that there isn't anything both of you couldn't work out together and that you would have been there for him if he'd given you half a chance. If he tells you he thought he cared about another girl say five very important words, "I DON'T SHARE MY MAN!" Make this concise and to the point! WHAT YOU WANT TO TELL HIM (STAND YOUR GROUND AND BE STRONG!) I'm not sure I want to get back together (make him squirm) because you had no consideration for my feelings and ran with your own feelings. You left and really hurt me and how can I ever trust you again? I AM NOT THE TYPE OF GIRL that will sit by and let this sort of behavior continue. If you have a problem in our relationship then be mature and come talk to me about it. After you have made yourself clear and depending on what he says to you, then it's up to you as to whether you want this guy back. NEVER let anyone walk all over your feelings and if you feel he's the type of guy that only thinks of himself then kick him to the curb and move on. There are a lot of nice guys out there. If you think he is the type of guy that was confused, afraid or nervous, then he could be a keeper. Good luck hon Marcy

"If your abused girlfriend is pulling back after many problems and heavy mental abuse from both sides and suddenly wants more space from you does that mean the relationship is ending?" Yes. Perhaps there was never a relationship in the first place just a frament of someone's imagination. Nevertheless, if someone was abused it is certainly just cause to pull away from that person and end all impressions of a relationship. Some women only know abuse and allow for it to be feed to them as if it is normal. Best wishes

It depends on the character of your ex boyfriend. He may have had enough and completely moved on, yet, if he sees you have changed (and I believe most people can either mature) then he may well want to strike up another relationship with you. There is only one way to find out and that's to call and meet with him. Take it slow and easy and don't push it too hard. Let him get to know you and relish in the "new you." Good luck Mrcy

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If this is not the case, you may have found a bug in the software. Please report this to an administrator, making note of the URL. If she's been honest about her feelings re her ex to you, then she's trying to get away from him for good. It's important to know that all women aren't alike and they have had a relationship and are use to that other person being around. Most of the time it's not love at all, but mixed feelings. Even if you don't get along with your ex, you have strange feelings about being concerned who they date (more like, "why wasn't I good enough for him?") I know, I was separated from an ex before. However, I did talk to my boyfriend openly and honestly about my feelings. Between the two of us I realized I was just use to my ex being in my life, felt the reasons why I walked away from him were my fault, but realized this guy cheated not only on me, but his mistress, and I did the right thing by walking away. Still, I shared almost 4 years of married life with this guy, and it's tough when you give your all to someone and they could turn around and treat you in this fashion. Give your girlfriend some space and tell her to sit down and discuss her feelings with you. This way you keep it open and honest. I doubt she loves her ex and is simply adjusting. She may be hearing he's dating someone else and only a jilted person can ever realize how it makes them feel. If she's sneaking out to see him, still in contact with him, tell her you aren't putting up with it and if she doesn't make a choice you are walking out the door. Good luck Merry Christmas Marcy

depression may be it was too much for them and they need to get themselves together by figuring out what they need to do next to get through the ordeal

Yes it is common. Some women do it to get revenge while other women feel lonely and abused and need some loving arms around them. This is called, "finding love in all the wrong places." It's a mistake, but not one you can't learn from. With each relationship that turns sour we can learn from it. We can feel sorry for ourselves and think everyone is out to get us, or realize there are some not very nice people out there and we were taken in by them. There is also the fact that we can truly love someone, but fall out of love with them and it's all about chemistry. Then there are women/men that just use each other. Every mistake I make in life I grow stronger from it. I do make mistakes, and I don't beat myself up, but try to be a better person from it and I have learned to forgive others and I get on with my life. Trust me when I say the older one gets the easier it becomes to have a "matter of fact" attitude in the world. While youth can be a hoot and a fun time, I can attest that getting older has it's up sides as well; I no longer have to be a chameleon in the full sense of the word; I can just be me with an attitude others can either like me or hate me; I can also openly admit that all people are not going to like me, but am calmed by how many that do and how I can help others. Oh yes, there is so much more to old age than one sees. Although I have lucked out in the gene pool and have few wrinkles and don't look my age, I know what age I am and who I am. Although much wiser I still have much to learn and revenge isn't one of those lessons. So hon, get mad, look at the facts, realize everyone isn't always going to be the good guy and learn your lessons well and before you know it you'll meet that special someone. Leave revenge to God or whatever your belief system is, and get out there with friends and get circulating! Good luck Marcy I think it probably is common, although not a good idea. There are different reasons for doing it, and none of them are good.

I LOVE YOU is yelled across every country in the world and it can mean anything or nothing. Some people say it out of habit, while other people mean it. If someone doesn't tell you they love you a lot, that doesn't mean they don't. Since he lies, cheats and steals why on earth would you want to stay in this abusive relationship. He has proven he doesn't feel he needs help straightening out his short-comings and he isn't going to change anytime soon. What you can change is how you deal with it. You have control over your actions and you have choices. I hope your choice is to stand strong, have faith in yourself and move on up. There are lots of nice men out there and surely you must respect yourself enough to find one of them. Ditch this guy! Good luck Marcy

If I was in your position I definetly wouldn't, but that's me because if they do it once who knows if they will do it again, and somehow hide it from you so that you would never find out. If a person is low enough to cheat on you then they are not worth it, and you can do so much better. What I think that you should do is tell that person how bad you were hurt and if you really feel like giving that person a second chance then do it and tell them if it happens again then it is really over. The only reason I could see someone giving someone a second chance is if they think that person really won't do it again and they really love that person and wants to be with them. Just be careful if you do decide to give that person a second chance.

I think the question is do you believe him. That same thing happened to me, but I called him and asked him how he felt about me and he said he still loved me and that he always would. You shouldn't feel bad that's for sure. Tell him how you feel. If you love him and miss him too, tell him. If you don't then be nice about it and tell him that you just don't have feelings for him, or you no longer have the love that you did for him. Just whatever you do don't feel bad!

Love is a complex feeling as we all know. If the ex has a new girlfriend after just one week of breaking up maybe the relationship wasn't as strong as she thought troughout the years. At this stage no contact is probably better for the woman as only more pain may come with the seperating.

First off you need to realize as best you can what love is. Love means you can't stand being away from the other person; you can't think of anyone else but that person, and you have fun together and talk over your future plans and discuss your hopes and dreams. I am sorry to say, but unless this guy is very shy it doesn't sound like he wants to get back together again. Wishing things were the way you want doesn't make it so. You could try talking to him, but if it's the same old thing, then I'd start dating. Don't waste anymore time sitting around and waiting for him. It just might get him moving in your direction if you start dating other guys. If it doesn't work and he still doesn't get back together with you, then consider yourself lucky that you found out now than much later. Good luck Marcy

I think so. I know I wouldn't do that to my ex-boyfriend unless I wanted his attention and wanted him to come back to me. Unless you want her to continue and want to take her back, just tell her straight up that you dont want to get together and you just want to be friends if that is possible. Tell her straight up how you feel - if she is making you uncomfortable - tell her!

If you have renigged on paying your portion of the car bill, yes.It doesn't matter who he is. The fact is...he cosigned for you. But, you can contact your consumer affairs bureau and see if they have a brochure on vehicle repossession. Ps Your ex bf sounds tons nicer than any of mine. He can't "repossess" because he is not the lienholder. If he is listed on the title as a co-owner, he has the same right of possession that you have and could insist on "taking his turn". But if he is only a co-signer on the loan, the only "right" he has is to make the payments if you don't. If he has had to make some of the payments for you, he could sue you for reimbursement.

We all do foolish things, but now there is a 3rd person's feelings here so you and your ex must tread carefully. I personally don't think either of you have the first clue as to what love is. Most people will argue, shout, slam out of the house, stay away for weeks or months, but few rush off to get married unless they've had someone on the side all along. People that love each other can be super angry at one another, but, they go off and cool off and don't get married. Sounds like you had a real rough ride the first time around with him, so what makes you think it will be different now? If he has told his wife about what is happening and wants a divorce, then the worst is over (feel badly for the other girl) and if you both are insistant about being together at least take it slow and easy and take at least a year to get to know each other once again. My bet is, neither of you have learned much in this past year. Sorry to be crude, rude, and to the point, but you gotta feel sorry for this other woman. Whether your ex comes back to you it's obvious he's not staying with her. My ex and I have spoken only once since his marriage. This is how I know we still love each other. We're not seeing each other. He is married and he plans to hold up his vows, as far as I know. I saw a counselor after this breakup. He said that after a breakup, regardless of the person who ended the relationship, is vulnerable. He said in his many years of practice he has seen this type of rebound marriage many times. He also said, after the breakup and both are vulnerable, you can meet a manipulative person who can tap into your vulnerability. We had a 5 1/2 yr. loving relationships, the last 9 months of those yrs. were not good due to me changing my job, moving, selling my house, and going through just a lot of life changes. As much as I still love him, I don't think I would reunite. I want a healthy relationship with an emotionally healthy heart. This just has been a horrible event because if I had to do those last 9 months over again, I don't think I could do them differently. He told me during those last months of how lonely he was because I was not putting him first.

You just do it. Slap a big smile on your face and remember just how strong you are inside. If possible try to stay away from your ex and live your own life. I don't know what your circumstances are, but if you can, get away from the ex and get on with your life. If children are involved then you really have no choice. Remember, he may have a girlfriend, but you will also eventually have someone in your life. Time does heal. I was married for 3 1/2 years the first time, and my ex was abusive verbally and it was getting physical. I finally left and never looked back. Some 20 years later his brother died at the age of 40 and it was a shock when someone phoned and told me. I didn't know my ex brother-in-law's home address (not in the phone book) and I wanted to send a sympathy card and flowers to his wife and kids, so I had to phone my ex. I was nervous, thought he might be overly shocked at hearing from me and when his new wife answered I told her who I was and why I was calling. There was no problem. I talked to my ex and told him how sorry I was to hear about his younger brother. He cried and cried and I was shocked at myself for a feeling I never knew I would ever experience .... I felt sympathy for him and I also felt like I was talking to a friend I hadn't seen in years. It was as if I had never been married to my ex. I was glad I did it, and I have not contacted him since nor has he contacted me. It just gets easier as time goes on and each ex gets on with their lives. Hang in there ... it does get easier. Good luck Marcy YOU DONT. WHEN A NEW RELATIONSHIP STARTS IT WILL TAKE THEIR TIME. U MAY END UP BEING A PROBLEM IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND BEING DUMPED ON AS A MATE TOO. STAY AWAY ITS LIKE PULLING OFF A BAND AID THE LONGER U TAKE TO REMOVE IT FROM U THE MORE IT HURTS. RIP URSELF AWAY DEAL WITH THE (RIDICULOUS AMOUNT) OF PAIN THN GET ON WITH IT I concur. Usually they try to put the new person in your face; be the bigger person and maintain your dignity. Don't give it any power or authority over your feelings. Your ex is nothing more than an ex, so find other activities, get back into dating or just simply hanging out with your friends. Time will heal, expecially if you didn't cause the break-up.

It isn't healthy to be glued to the hip with each other. Why? Because you never get to truly know yourself and the biggy is, there are twists and turns in our lives. It's obvious you love each other very much, but think of this: You date and stick together like glue, then you get engaged and stick together like glue, then you get married and have children and do the same thing all over again. Well that's fine for the time being, but we all get old, so what happens if one of you gets very ill and perhaps passes away? You are left vulnerable, not independent and extremely lonely. More so than most widows. You look around and realize that your friends have quit waiting for you because you never took the time to keep up with them through the years. You are alone! When you don't do some things on your own, you lose wisdom and lose touch with those around you. There is a world out there, and it's worth investigating. Basically what I am saying is, if you don't stop clinging to each other as you are doing you'll be "stunt your mental growth." I can bet that your friends (at least) have told you they never see you and you never go out with your girlfriends. You may have friends over or even go out with friends, but it's not the same one-on-one relationship you would have with girlfriends and the same applies to your boyfriend with his buddies. Before you know it your friends will have given up and moved on. Think of all the wonderful times you are missing with your girlfriends and your boyfriend is missing out on memories with his buddies. This seems to be a problem of insecurity your boyfriend has. This isn't love, but a "need." You two have to sit down and talk. Please take heed to what your friends are saying.

If he's married then he should be with his wife. If you love him what is the big deal about telling him so? He is looking for ways out of the relationship; wants to put you on a shelf like a pretty doll, then take you down when he feels like playing around. Get wise and leave this guy! By the way, how would you like it if you were married and your husband was fooling around? You're losing your pride girl! Marcy

It means he's uncertain about whether or not he still cares about her. Give him the time and space he needs. If it's meant to be, he'll be with you. I have just read the answer but he rang me and told me he had choosen me but he had to give it 1 more go as they have history togeter he said he propably is making the biggest mistake. He also said to me he would still be with me only for her wanting him back and that i was better looking than her and for me to keep sending the emails (Jokes) as he enjoyed them and to give a ring or text sometime. I miss him alot what does he mean saying all this to me!!! Help it means his using you and wants his cake and eat it too. don't call him, don't text him, don't email him anything. don't act as if you want him, and watch him crawl back. that's when you tell him it's YOU or it's over. don't be used like that. another idea is go out with other guys for a while, just casually, and don't get involved with anyone. just see how he reacts for the next month or so to tis. if you don't hear from him...forget him.