Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence

Go to her with a few other family or friends and have a intervention sort of. If her kids are small have someone else with kids have a play date and get the ball rolling on getting her to realize the damage it is causing her and will cause her children. She probably has low self esteem and no confidence in herself. See if she want all of you to talk to the abuser, this is not something to let go because verbal abuse is a precusor to violence, if it hasn't already happened. Bring booklet/articles with you about the effects this has on adults and children. Bring some meeting area's she can go to for herself. Bring some that can be suggested to the abuser. Support her and help her, ask her what she would like to do about the situation, take her to abuse meetings so she can hear others stories and what happened to them and what they did. In the phone book their are numbers for abuse hotline, get them to mail her a questionaire so she can see it with her own eyes, if you can get ahold of one at the local womans shelter or the like. Please don't give up, the only hope she has are people like you that care.

It often starts from feelings of insecurity. They may blame the world for what happens to them. Then they may find someone who seems to love them. They begin to take the person's love for granted, even start to demand it. They might look to the other person like they would a drug to fill some need inside that is their own responsibility. Then they may mistreat the person, and the person leaves or tries to leave. Then their whole sense of the world is shattered and they don't know what to do. They try everything to make the person stay, and it doesn't work. Then any feelings of disgust they have for themselves, they transfer to other other person, and they may kill the other person to punish them. They may think, "How dare you walk out on me! You are supposed to love me! Who do you think you are?"

That is one of the more bizarre composite sketches. Sometimes it is just the pain of heartbreak. Then they lose their head and don't know what to do, and then their passion and rage just takes over. The more intense and irrational their feelings of "love" were for the other person the more capable they are of hurting them when things go wrong. Love and hate are not really all that different, and sometimes things get so tangled up and love becomes hate.

When someone kills a third party over love, then the answer is most likely jealousy. Suppose a man arrives home early and catches his wife in bed with another man. That can cause some people to fly into a jealous rage, and if there are weapons around, it can become a deadly combination. He may kill his wife and/or her lover.

There is sometimes a sense of ownership involved, and sometimes delusional thinking. Some people will tell their partners that if they cannot have them, nobody else can. When their partner walks out, they may even become delusional, or obsessed. They may tell themselves the partner still loves them and it is someone else's fault for getting between them. They may constantly stalk their partner until it eventually turns into a deadly confrontation.

Placate is to apease, to make someone happy, as in ending a fight, you agree with them just to shut them up. Nice way to say kiss ass.

As long as you confine yourself to legal methods, you can't "prevent" anyone from doing anything.

You can voice an opinion, give advice, or refer to literature. But that's just about the maximum.

There is nothing that a friend can do to prevent someone from going back to the abuser. A good friend can offer books and websites to educate the abused person. Keep the discussion open at any time, when the friend needs it. If the abused person does not want to re-enter the abusive relationship, but does not have the emotional strength to end the relationship completely, then I believe you have an obligation to help the friend end the relationship. Whatever it takes, if he/she allows you to help, then do so. This may entail much sacrifice of time and energy on your part. However, there are some people in life who need help, because they have become too weak to help themselves. If your friend does not resist your assistance, then do not wait for instructions on what to do. Be the leader, and take her/his hand, and help that person walk away emotionally, physically, and legally, if there is no resistance to your help.

Aside from lending an ear when needed and maybe directing your friend to books or sites on abusive relationships (or a professional counsellor and the like), I think it's best NOT to get involved -- unless you are ASKED for help.

I think listening and allowing your friend to go through the emotions is about all you CAN do.

You cannot prevent your friend returning to an abusive relationship. All you can do is be there for support as and when it's needed.

However, I would take care to be diplomatic in relation to the abusive partner, as your friend is likely to go back over and over again until she hits a wall emotionally and cannot take the abuse.

In the likelihood that you denigrate the abusive partner or shame her for returning or anything of that nature, you are likely to lose your friend.

Let her know that your still there for her and that she doesn't need a guy to make her happy.

To be hit on is a figure of speech that means a man is trying to make small talk with you or is flirting with you in the hopes that you will take a liking to him. It's usually pretty aggressive, though, and not usually associated with good manners.

No, because, serial abusers will never change. I am currently in the same situation. I am married and not even domestic violent classes help my soon to be ex-husband. I think age has alot to do with it too because, he is 49 years old.

Depending on the personal data and the psychodynamic profile of the abuser, his cultural and social background, age, profession, level of education, and extent of motivation to preserve the relationship. Some busers can definitely be helped and success stories abound.

During my experience of 12 years of mental and physical abuse, regardless of the "so-called" remorse displayed, the abuser must have a sincere believe that what he is doing is wrong. The abuser must make a conscious decision to change his way of thinking and implement that into his way of daily living. Unfortunately, abusers have often avoided owning up to their responsibility of change because tey generally shift the attention to the victim.

one out of three girls get either raped, date raped, or sexualy abused befor or by the time their 18

There are many dangers involved in domestic violence. A victim of domestic violence can be affected mentally, physically, financially and even spiritually. The ultimate danger is the loss of life at the hands of the abuser.

This, actually, is the TYPICAL case. Abusers are constantly in denial. See these: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abuse4.html http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq73.html Abusers may be in denial of their abusive behavior, however we all have a sense of what is right and wrong behavior. We all have a sense of how we would like to be treated, including abusive people. I believe they know they are "in the wrong," but refuse to accept that. Sadly, many abusers probably were abused themselves and "blame" that as how they are. I don't believe in that trap. I grew up with an alcoholic parent and from a young age said I was not going to be like that because I hated how I felt. God Bless

The person being abused and any children who are there to witness it are victims.

Interactionists argue that a mistake most perspectives make is that they assume lawbreakers are somehow different from law-abiding people.

The Interactionist View: According to this view, people, (A) act based upon their personal interpretation of reality by which they assign various things with meaning; (B) observe the positive or negative reactions of others, and (C) reevaluate as well as interpret their personal behavior based upon the reactions, meanings, and symbols observed through others. This view of crime states that an objective reality does not exist. Therefore, people, events, behaviors, and institutions are subjectively viewed and are labeled by the individual evaluator as either good or evil. Crime has no true meaning, unless society has a negative reaction toward it.

It can be... depends on if the person is yelling at you or just about something that angered them. Well it really depends on what is coming out of your mouth when you yell. If you are yelling profanities then yes. And the reason for yelling and frequency is also a factor. If it is for no reason or if you are blowing up over something small then I believe it is verbal abuse. Also if you are belittling the person while yelling.

it is where one partner is abusing the others money or earnings. either by spending it all when they did not earn it and the other person did, or by stealing the money, or by refusing to work and making the other person work for them. They usually do not contribute to household bills and expect to live for free. They are normally very bad with money and if refused money will steal it. It can also be where someone is staying purely because of other person's money or financial situation.

there are many reasons why and recently iv'e had the same problem but ive come to realize that it is because he is afraid to lose you. he thinks that you might leave him for someone else better than him in general <3

People are not objects. You cannot "get them" out or into anything, let alone a relationship. You can help her/him acknowledge that s/he is the victim of abuse, offer unconditional support, and assist with practical details.

Oh honey, let me spill the tea for you. Tracey Thurman was a badass queen who survived domestic violence and took her ex-husband and the police department to court for failing to protect her. Her case led to the landmark Thurman v. City of Torrington decision, which held that police can be held liable for failing to protect individuals from harm. Tracey Thurman may have been through hell, but she came out on top like the fierce warrior she is.

start a relationship with god. go to church. speak with your family. get support. join a group. you need to know that you are not alone and that whatever problems you are having that make you start to feel violent there is help out there. just reach out to some one. you would be surprised at how much better you would feel with a healthy relationship for you to vent and get advice. god is always there for you and the great thing about him is he does not judge you or hold grudges. just find someone you can relate to and ask for help. remember the first step is admitting you have a problem.

Abusers are absolutely about control. They know every move they make and are basically artists at their trade. They know they can't control society around them so they prey on the weak such as parents, the elderly, spouses and children. A male abuser seldom has the guts to face a man one-on-one, but will induce injuries upon a defenseless woman or child. They also seem to know how to give "mental torture." Think of this: A victim of this abuser is use to either hearing cursing, yelling and they just can't please the abusive spouse no matter how hard they try. The victim may be beat up badly at times and suddenly .... silence! It's nerve-racking and the victim just never knows when the silence will end and the abuse will begin again. They are literally standing on a time bomb. An abuser is actually a very weak individual. They may have come from an abusive environment, but there are a few that are just plain mean to the bone for various reasons. There are some men (or women) that feel society hasn't given them the breaks they deserve and all their hopes and dreams of either being famous or having loads of money or even something such as losing their job escapes them and they blame everyone but themselves. Abusers seldom do well in their jobs because they are not mentally stable and have to be careful 100% of the time while at work as to how they SHOULD think and act. They are smart enough to know that the boss won't let him/her get away with their childish behavior in the workplace. This is actually harder on the abuser and by the time he/she gets home all hell breaks loose. Abusers know exactly what they are, but can't seem to grasp the idea of where to go for help. It's like a druggie or an alcoholic that first has to admit they are one, then go for the help. The abuser will blame others for the way they are and seldom seek professional help. Abusers can often grow tired of their spouse they are abusing and will leave to go onto their next victim. You would think this would be a blessing for the victim he left behind, but in fact, the victim misses the abuser because they were told how to act, think and had no control over their own lives. Now they feel deserted, don't know how to respond to the simplest of things out in society and have no idea of how to get a job so they can get back on their feet. They have had their self confidence and dignity ripped from them, and they feel ashamed. Little does the victim know that no one blames them for the trouble they are in and that there is a lot of help out there. In British Columbia the R.C.M.P. work closely with the Abused Women's Centers here and there is an Abuse Center in most American towns and obviously cities. If in doubt, just phone your local Mental Health and they will direct you to the proper help. Also little does the abuser know that he has not left a victim behind, but a very strong individual who has learned to survive through some of the worst scenarios a human should never have to go through. It takes counseling and time for the victim to see just how strong they have been and are going to remain. The abuser will never be happy in any relationship and is actually caught in his/her own web of violence and will lead a long and lonely life. What goes around comes around!

it changes daily life by the way they react, also it causes problems for that person.

If you have some good evidence and you know that his lying to you, approach him and tell him what you have. Ask him why he needs to lie.

there are many ways to stop physical abuse. Firstly, you must get away from the situation, any way possible. There is always help out there and many numbers to call. Do not be afraid that the person who is abusing you will come after you, if you call a hotline, someone will protect you. The police are the first people you should call if you need help immediately.