Human Behavior

NO IT IS NOT WRONG

To quote my friend, who created the "Why Hide Your Penis?" Yahoo group:

"Men of all ages used to enjoy the company of other men in male-only settings without fear of ridicule or anything, and you could fully relax and just be yourself. I'd love for a return to that relaxed attitude, and I'm sure other guys do, too!

So many younger guys these days, and even some older ones, were not brought-up in an environment where guys take showers together after P.E. or sports activity, nude swimming at the local "Y", and other such true male bonding experiences that today they think it's "gay" or something to take showers in a group setting, let alone not rush through changing clothes under a towel or not even using a locker room!

A mere couple of decades ago, you'd be called a "girl", "sissy", "wimp", "wuss", a "fag", or even something obscene if you DIDN'T take a shower (nude) with your pals & teammates after such..

I have to agree with you a mere decades ago everyone was nude in the locker room everyone went through it and no guy ever made it to 15 without having been nude and not care in the locker room and look at us now in 2009 everyone will be a wuss nobody is nude in the locker room why not just change outside then. Now a days it is you call a person gay if he is nude in front of his own sex back then you are called wuss if your NOT NUDE in front of your own sex. Some people now wont even take off their SHIRT in the locker room they go into the stall instead! We should take this back to how it used to be.

All guys have the same body parts we all have 1 penis why are they then so afraid to see someone elses if they have seen there´s and there is no problem with seeing yours why is their a problem is seeing other guys. Come on seriously guys used to be more relaxed. Instead not change the name of a locker room to a stall room so everyone can change in the stall. My first day in 7th grade when the coach was telling us how things work she said you can change here in the lockers or in the stalls and if the stalls are full u can also change behind the curtain showers. Come on they should be saying everyone has to take a shower in the open shower we have over here. I say we try to take things back how they were and how they should be.

Be proud of the fact, and don't fool around fussing with trying to change under a towel, trying to keep your front side facing the wall in showers, hiding behind curtains & partitions dressing, etc!

And I don't know about you, but I've noticed that when I and others are more relaxed in the locker room, so it seems to be with other guys that usually do the "towel dance" & stuff. So, leave your towel for use when drying yourself only back on a hook or even in your locker, and you'll find others get more relaxed, too!"

Aggresivness

Two broad categories of aggression are commonly distinguished. One includes affective(emotional) and hostile, reactive, or retaliatory aggression that is a response to provocation, and the other includes instrumental, goal-oriented or predatory, in which aggression is used as a mean to achieve a goal.[4] An example of hostile aggression would be a person who punches someone who insulted him or her. An instrumental form of aggression would be armed robbery. Research on violence from a range of disciplines lend some support to a distinction between affective and predatory aggression.[5] However, some researchers question the usefulness of a hostile vs instrumental distinction in humans, despite its ubiquity in research, because most real-life cases involve mixed motives and interacting causes.[6]

A number of classifications and dimensions of aggression have been suggested. These depend on such things as whether the aggression is verbal or physical; whether or not it involves relational aggression such as covert bullying and social manipulation;[7] whether harm to others is intended or not; whether it is carried out actively or expressed passively; and whether the aggression is aimed directly or indirectly. Classification may also encompass aggression-related emotions (e.g. anger) and mental states (e.g. impulsivity, hostility).[8] Aggression may occur in response to non-social as well as social factors, and can have a close relationship with stress coping style.[9] Aggression may be displayed in order to intimidate.

The operative definition of aggression may be affected by moral or political views. Examples are the axiomatic moral view called the non-aggression principle and the political rules governing the behavior of one country toward another.[10] Likewise in competitive sports, or in the workplace, some forms of aggression may be sanctioned and others not.[11]

The term aggression comes from the Latinaggressio, meaning attack. The Latin was itself a joining of ad- and gradi-, which meant step at. The first known use dates back to 1611, in the sense of an unprovoked attack.[12] A psychological sense of "hostile or destructive behavior: dates back to 1912, in an English translation of the writing of Sigmund Freud.[13]Alfred Adler had theorized about an "aggressive drive: in 1908. Child raising experts began to refer to aggression rather than anger from the 1930s.[14]

Male elephant seals fighting

Ethologists study aggression as it relates to the interaction and evolution of animals in natural settings. In such settings aggression can involve bodily contact such as biting, hitting or pushing, but most conflicts are settled by threat displays and intimidating thrusts that cause no physical harm. This form of aggression may include the display of body size, antlers, claws or teeth; stereotyped signals including facial expressions; vocalizations such as bird song; the release of chemicals; and changes in coloration.[15] The term agonistic behaviour is sometimes used to refer to these forms of behavior.

Most ethologists believe that aggression confers biological advantages. Aggression may help an animal secure territory, including resources such as food and water. Aggression between males often occurs to secure mating opportunities, and results in selection of the healthier/more vigorous animal. Aggression may also occur for self-protection or to protect offspring.[16] Aggression between groups of animals may also confer advantage; for example, hostile behavior may force a population of animals into a new territory, where the need to adapt to a new environment may lead to an increase in genetic flexibility.[17]

The most apparent type of interspecific aggression is that observed in the interaction between a predator and its prey. However, according to many researchers, predation is not aggression. A cat does not hiss or arch its back when pursuing a rat, and the active areas in its hypothalamus resemble those that reflect hunger rather than those that reflect aggression.[18] However, others refer to this behavior as predatory aggression, and point out cases that resemble hostile behavior, such as mouse-killing by rats.[19] In aggressive mimicry a predator has the appearance of a harmless organism or object attractive to the prey; when the prey approaches, the predator attacks.

An animal defending against a predator may engage in either "fight or flight" in response to predator attack or threat of attack, depending on its estimate of the predator's strength relative to its own. Alternative defenses include a range of antipredator adaptations, including alarm signals.

Aggression between groups is determined partly by willingness to fight, which depends on a number of factors including numerical advantage, distance from home territories, how often the groups encounter each other, competitive abilities, differences in body size, and whose territory is being invaded. Also, an individual is more likely to become aggressive if other aggressive group members are nearby.[20] One particular phenomenon - the formation of coordinated coalitions that raid neighbouring territories to kill conspecifics - has only been documented in two species in the animal kingdom: 'common' chimpanzees and humans.[21]

Aggression between conspecifics in a group typically involves access to resources and breeding opportunities. One of its most common functions is to establish a dominance hierarchy. This occurs in many species by aggressive encounters between contending males when they are first together in a common environment.[22] Usually the more aggessive animals become the more dominant.[23][24] In test situations, most of the conspecific aggression ceases about 24 hours after the group of animals is brought together.[22][25] Aggression has been defined from this viewpoint as "behavior which is intended to increase the social dominance of the organism relative to the dominance position of other organisms".[26] Losing confrontations may be called social defeat, and winning or losing is associated with a range of practical and psychological consequences.[27]

Conflicts between animals occur in many contexts, such as between potential mating partners, between parents and offspring, and between competitors for resources. Group-living animals may dispute over the direction of travel or the allocation of time to joint activities. Various factors limit the escalation of aggression, including communicative displays, conventions and routines. In addition, following aggressive incidents, various forms of conflict resolutionhave been observed in mammalian species, particularly in gregarious primates. These can mitigate or repair possible adverse consequences, especially for the recipient of aggression who may become vulnerable to attacks by other members of a group. Conciliatory acts vary by species and may involve specific gestures of simply more proximity and interaction between the individuals involved. However, conflicts over food are rarely followed by post conflict reunions, even though they are the most frequent type in foraging primates.[28]

Other questions that have been considered in the study of primate aggression, including in humans, is how aggression affects the organization of a group, what costs are incurred by aggression, and why some primates avoid aggressive behavior.[29] For example, bonobo chimpanzee groups are known for low levels of aggression within a partially matriarchal society. Captive animals including primates may show abnormal levels of social aggression and self-harm that are related to aspects of the physical or social environment; this depends on the species and individual factors such as gender, age and background (e.g. raised wild or captive).[30]

Like many behaviors, aggression can be examined in terms of its ability to help an animal survive and reproduce, or alternatively to risk survival and reproduction. This cost-benefit analysis can be looked at in terms of evolution. There are profound differences in the extent of acceptance of a biological or evolutionary basis for human aggression, however.[31]

Aggression can involve violence that may be adaptive under certain circumstances in terms of natural selection. This is most obviously the case in terms of attacking prey to obtain food, or in anti-predatory defense. It may also be the case in competition between members of the same species or subgroup, if the average reward (e.g. status, access to resources, protection of self or kin) outweighs average costs (e.g. injury, exclusion from the group, death). There are some hypotheses of specific adaptions for violence in humans under certain circumstances, including for homicide, but it is often unclear what behaviors may have been selected for and what may have been a byproduct, as in the case of collective violence.[32][33][34][35]

Although aggressive encounters are ubiquitous in the animal kingdom, with often high stakes, most are resolved through posturing, displays and trials of strength. Game theory is used to understand how such behaviors might spread by natural selection within a population, and potentially become 'Evolutionary Stable Strategies'. An initial model of resolution of conflicts is the Hawk-Dove game; others include the Sequential assessment model and the Energetic war of attrition. These try to understand not just one-off encounters but protracted stand-offs, and mainly differ in the criteria by which an individual decides to give up rather than risk loss and harm in physical conflict (such as through estimates of Resource holding potential).[36]

There are multiple theories that seek to explain findings that males and females of the same species can have differing aggressive behaviors. However the conditions under which women and men differ in aggressiveness are not well understood.[37] In general, sexual dimorphism can be attributed to greater intraspecific competition in one sex, either between rivals for access to mates and/or to be chosen by mates. This may stem from the other gender being constrained by providing greater parental investment, in terms of factors such as gamete production, gestation, lactation, or upbringing of young. Although there is much variation in species generally the more physically aggressive sex is the male, particularly in mammals. In species where parental care by both sexes is required there tends to be less of a difference. When the female can leave the male to care for the offspring, then females may be the larger and more physically aggressive. Competitiveness despite parental investment has also been observed in some species.[38] A related factor is the rate at which males and females are able to mate again after producing offspring, and the basic principles of sexual selection are also influenced by ecological factors affecting the ways or extent to which one sex can compete for the other. The role of such factors in human evolution is controversial. The pattern of male and female aggression is argued to be consistent with evolved sexually-selected behavioral differences, while alternative or complimentary views emphasize conventional social roles stemming from physical evolved differences.[39] Aggression in women may have evolved to be, on average, less physically dangerous and more covert or indirect.[40][41] However, there are critiques for using animal behavior to explain human behavior. Especially in the application of evolutionary explanations to contemporary human behavior, including differences between the genders.[42]

In general, much research has suggested that males use more physical aggression than females, while females use more verbal aggression. Children interact with, and are aggressive toward,both same- and other-gender peers.[43] There are more recent findings that show that differences in male and female aggression appear at about two years of age, though the differences in aggression are more consistent in middle-aged children and adolescence.Tremblay, Japel and Pérusse (1999) asserted that physically aggressive behaviors such as kicking, biting and hitting are age-typical expressions of innate and spontaneous reactions to biological drives such as anger, hunger, and affiliation.[44] Girls' relational aggression, meaning non-physical or indirect, tends to increase after age two while physical aggression decreases. There was no significant difference in aggression between males and females before two years of age.[45] A possible explanation for this could be that girls develop language skills more quickly than boys therefore they have better ways of verbalizing their wants and needs. They are more likely to use communication when trying to retrieve a toy with the words "Ask nicely" or "Say please."[46]

Many studies have found differences in the types of aggression used by males and females, at least in children and adolescents. Females between the ages of 10 and 14, around puberty age, show a more extreme rate of relational aggression compared to boys. These findings are true for Western society, but are not true of all cultures. In countries such as Kenya it has been found that young boys and girls have very similar rates of physical aggression.[45] It has been found that girls are more likely than boys to use reactive aggression and then retract, but boys are more likely to increase rather than to retract their aggression after their first reaction. Studies show girls' aggressive tactics included gossip, ostracism, breaking confidences, and criticism of a victim's clothing, appearance, or personality, whereas boys engage in aggression that involves a direct physical and/or verbal assault.[47] This could be due to the fact that girls' frontal lobes develop earlier than boys, allowing them to self-restrain.[46]

One factor that shows insignificant differences between male and female aggression is in sports. In sports, the rate of aggression in both contact and non-contact sports is relatively equal. Since the establishment of Title IX, female sports have increased in competitiveness and importance, which could contribute to the evening of aggression and the "need to win" attitude between both sexes. Among sex differences found in adult sports were that females have a higher scale of indirect hostility while men have a higher scale of assault.[48] Another difference found is that men have up to 20 times higher levels of testosterone than women.

Some studies suggest that romantic involvement in adolescence decreases aggression in males and females, but decreases at a higher rate in females. Females will seem more desirable to their mate if they fit in with society and females that are aggressive do not usually fit well in society, they can often be viewed as antisocial. Female aggression is not considered the norm in society and going against the norm can sometimes prevent one from getting a mate.[49] However, studies have shown that an increasing number of women are getting arrested for domestic violence charges. In many states, women now account for a quarter to a third of all domestic violence arrests, up from less than 10 percent a decade ago. The new statistics reflect a reality documented in research: women are perpetrators as well as victims of family violence.[50] However, another equally possible explanation is a case of improved diagnostics: it has become more acceptable for men to report female domestic violence to the authorities while at the same time actual female domestic violence has not increased at all. This can be the case when men have become less ashamed of reporting female violence against them, therefore an increasing number of women are arrested, although the actual number of violent women remains the same.

Also, males in competitive sports are often advised by their coaches not to be in intimate relationships based on the premises that they become more docile and less aggressive during an athletic event. The circumstances in which males and females experience aggression are also different. A study showed that social anxiety and stress was positively correlated with aggression in males, meaning as stress and social anxiety increases so does aggression. Furthermore, a male with higher social skills has a lower rate of aggressive behavior than a male with lower social skills. In females, higher rates of aggression were only correlated with higher rates of stress. Other than biological factors that contribute to aggression there are physical factors are well.[51]

Regarding sexual dimorphism, humans fall into an intermediate group with moderate sex differences in body size but relatively large testes. This is a typical pattern of primates where several males and females live together in a group and the male faces an intermediate amount of challenges from other males compared to exclusive polygyny and monogamy but frequent sperm competition.[52]

Evolutionary psychologyand sociobiology have also discussed and produced theories for some specific forms of male aggression such as sociobiological theories of rape and theories regarding the Cinderella effect.

Many researchers focus on the brain to explain aggression. Numerous circuits within both neocortical and subcortical structures play a central role in controlling aggressive behavior, depending on the species, and the exact role of pathways may vary depending on the type of trigger or intention.

In mammals, the hypothalamus and periaqueductal gray of the midbrain are critical areas, as shown in studies on cats, rats, and monkeys. These brain areas control the expression of both behavioral and autonomic components of aggression in these species, including vocalization. Electrical stimulation of the hypothalamus causes aggressive behavior[53] and the hypothalamus has receptors that help determine aggression levels based on their interactions with serotonin and vasopressin.[54] These midbrain areas have direct connections with both the brainstem nuclei controlling these functions, and with structures such as the amygdala and prefrontal cortex.

Stimulation of the amygdala results in augmented aggressive behavior in hamsters,[55][56] while lesions of an evolutionarily homologous area in the lizard greatly reduce competitive drive and aggression (Bauman et al. 2006).[57] In rhesus monkeys, neonatal lesions in the amygdala or hippocampus results in reduced expression of social dominance, related to the regulation of aggression and fear.[58] Several experiments in attack-primed Syrian Golden hamsters, for example, support the claim of circuity within the amygdala being involved in control of aggression.[59] The role of the amygdala is less clear in primates and appears to depend more on situational context, with lesions leading to increases in either social affiliatory or aggressive responses.

The broad area of the cortex known as the prefrontal cortex (PFC) has been implicated in aggression, along with many other functions. such as including inhibition of emotions. Reduced activity of the prefrontal cortex, in particular its medial and orbitofrontal portions, has been associated with violent/antisocial aggression.[60]

The role of the chemicals in the brain, particularly neurotransmitters, in aggression has also been examined. This varies depending on the pathway, the context and other factors such as gender. A deficit in serotonin has been theorized to have a primary role in causing impulsivity and aggression. Nevertheless, low levels of serotonin transmission may explain a vulnerability to impulsiveness, potential aggression, and may have an effect through interactions with other neurochemical systems. These include dopamine systems which are generally associated with attention and motivation toward rewards, and operate at various levels. Norepinephrine, also known as noradrenaline, may influence aggression responses both directly and indirectly through the hormonal system, the sympathetic nervous system or the central nervous system(including the brain). It appears to have different effects depending on the type of triggering stimulus, for example social isolation/rank versus shock/chemical agitation which appears not to have a linear relationship with aggression. Similarly, GABA, although associated with inhibitory functions at many CNS synapses, sometimes shows a positive correlation with aggression, including when potentiated by alcohol.[61][62]

The hormonal neuropeptides vasopressin and oxytocinplay a key role in complex social behaviours in many mammals such as regulating attachment, social recognition, and aggression. Vasopressin has been implicated in male-typical social behaviors which includes aggression. Oxytocin may have a particular role in regulating female bonds with offspring and mates, including the use of protective aggression. Initial studies in humans suggest some similar effects.[63][64]

Hormones are chemicals that circulate in the body affecting cells and the nervous system, including the brain. Testosterone is a steroid hormone from the androgen group, which is most linked to the prenatal and postnatal development of the male gender and physique, which in turn has been linked on average to more physical aggression in many species. Testosterone is present to a lesser extent in females, who may be more sensitive to its effects. Animal studies have also indicated a link between incidents of aggression and the individual level of circulating testosterone. However, results in relation to primates, particularly humans, are less clear cut and are at best only suggestive of a positive association in some contexts.[65]

Washington State Song Sparrow

The challenge hypothesisoutlines the dynamic relationship between plasma testosterone levels and aggression in mating contexts in many species. It proposes that testosterone is linked to aggression when it is beneficial for reproduction, such as in mate guarding and preventing the encroachment of intrasexual rivals. The challenge hypothesis predicts that seasonal patterns in testosterone levels in a species are a function of mating system (monogamy versus polygyny), paternal care, and male-male aggression in seasonal breeders. This pattern between testosterone and aggression was first observed in seasonally breeding birds, such as the Song Sparrow, where testosterone levels rise modestly with the onset of the breeding season to support basic reproductive functions.[66] The hypothesis has been subsequently expanded and modified to predict relationships between testosterone and aggression in other species. For example, chimpanzees, which are continuous breeders, show significantly raised testosterone levels and aggressive male-male interactions when receptive and fertile females are present.[67] Currently, no research has specified a relationship between the modified challenge hypothesis and human behavior, or the human nature of concealed ovulation, although some suggest it may apply.[68]

Testosterone to Estradiol conversion

Another line of research has focused on the proximate effects of circulating testosterone on the nervous system, as mediated by local metabolism within the brain. Testosterone can be metabolized to 17b-estradiol by the enzyme aromatase, or to 5-alpha-dihydrotestosterone (DHT) by 5a-reductase.

Aromatase is highly expressed in regions involved in the regulation of aggressive behavior, such as the amygdala and hypothalamus. In studies using genetic knock-out techniques in inbred mice, male mice that lacked a functional aromatase enzyme displayed a marked reduction in aggression. Long-term treatment with estradiol partially restored aggressive behavior, suggesting that the neural conversion of circulating testosterone to estradiol and its effect on estrogen receptors influences inter-male aggression. In addition, two different estrogen receptors, ERa and ERb, have been identified as having the ability to exert different effects on aggression in mice. However, the effect of estradiol appears to vary depending on the strain of mouse, and in some strains it reduces aggression during long days (16 h of light), while during short days (8 h of light) estradiol rapidly increases aggression.[69]

Another hypothesis is that testosterone influences brain areas that control behavioral reactions. Studies in animal models indicate that aggression is affected by several interconnected cortical and subcortical structures within the so-called social behavior network. A study involving lesions and electrical-chemical stimulation in rodents and cats revealed that such a neural network consists of the medial amygdala, medial hypothalamus and periaqueductal grey (PAG), and it positively modulates reactive aggression.[70] Moreover, a study done in human subjects showed that prefrontal-amygdala connectivity is modulated by endogenous testosterone during social emotional behavior.[71]

In human studies, testosterone-aggression research has also focused on the role of the orbitofrontal cortex (OFC). This brain area is strongly associated with impulse control and self-regulation systems that integrate emotion, motivation, and cognition to guide context-appropriate behavior.[72] Patients with localized lesions to the OFC engage in heightened reactive aggression.[73] Aggressive behavior may be regulated by testosterone via reduced medial OFC engagement following social provocation.[72] When measuring participants' salivary testosterone, higher levels can predict subsequent aggressive behavioral reactions to unfairness faced during a task. Moreover, brain scanning with fMRIshows reduced activity in the medial OFC during such reactions. Such findings may suggest that a specific brain region, the OFC, is a key factor in understanding reactive aggression.

Scientists have for a long time been interested in the relationship between testosterone and aggressive behavior. In most species, males are more aggressive than females. Castration of males usually has a pacifying effect on aggressive behavior in males. In humans, males engage in crime and especially violent crime more than females. The involvement in crime usually rises in the early teens to mid teens which happen at the same time as testosterone levels rise. Research on the relationship between testosterone and aggression is difficult since the only reliable measurement of brain testosterone is by a lumbar puncture which is not done for research purposes. Studies therefore have often instead used more unreliable measurements from blood or saliva.[74]

The Handbook of Crime Correlates, a review of crime studies, states most studies support a link between adult criminality and testosterone although the relationship is modest if examined separately for each sex. However, nearly all studies of juvenile delinquency and testosterone are not significant. Most studies have also found testosterone to be associated with behaviors or personality traits linked with criminality such as antisocial behaviorand alcoholism. Many studies have also been done on the relationship between more general aggressive behavior/feelings and testosterone. About half the studies have found a relationship and about half no relationship.[74]

Studies of testosterone levels of male athletes before and after a competition revealed that testosterone levels rise shortly before their matches, as if in anticipation of the competition, and are dependent on the outcome of the event: testosterone levels of winners are high relative to those of losers. No specific response of testosterone levels to competition was observed in female athletes, although a mood difference was noted.[75] In addition, some experiments have failed to find a relationship between testosterone levels and aggression in humans.[76][77][78]

The possible correlation between testosterone and aggression could explain the "roid rage" that can result from anabolic steroid use,[79][80] although an effect of abnormally high levels of steroids does not prove an effect at physiological levels.

Dehydroepiandrosterone(DHEA) is the most abundant circulating androgen hormone and can be rapidly metabolized within target tissues into potent androgens and estrogens. Gonadal steroids generally regulate aggression during the breeding season, but non-gonadal steroids may regulate aggression during the non-breeding season. Castration of various species in the non-breeding season has no effect on territorial aggression. In several avian studies, circulating DHEA has been found to be elevated in birds during the non-breeding season. These data support the idea that non-breeding birds combine adrenal and/or gonadal DHEA synthesis with neural DHEA metabolism to maintain territorial behavior when gonadal testosterone secretion is low. Similar results have been found in studies involving different strains of rats, mice, and hamsters. DHEA levels also have been studied in humans and may play a role in human aggression. Circulating DHEAS (its sulfated ester) levels rise during adrenarche (~7 years of age) while plasma testosterone levels are relatively low. This implies that aggression in pre-pubertal children with aggressive conduct disorder might be correlated with plasma DHEAS rather than plasma testosterone, suggesting an important link between DHEAS and human aggressive behavior.[69]

Glucocorticoid hormones have an important role in regulating aggressive behavior. In adult rats, acute injections of corticosteronepromote aggressive behavior and acute reduction of corticosterone decreases aggression; however, a chronic reduction of corticosterone levels can produce abnormally aggressive behavior. In addition, glucocorticoids affect development of aggression and establishment of social hierarchies. Adult mice with low baseline levels of corticosterone are more likely to become dominant than are mice with high baseline corticosterone levels.[69]

Glucocorticoids are released by the hypothalamic pituitary adrenal (HPA) axis in response to stress, of which cortisol is the most prominent in humans. Results in adults suggest that reduced levels of cortisol, linked to lower fear or a reduced stress response, can be associated with more aggression. However, it may be that proactive aggression is associated with low cortisol levels while reactive aggression may be accompanied by elevated levels. Differences in assessments of cortisol may also explain a diversity of results, particularly in children.[65]

The HPA axis is related to the general fight-or-flight response or acute stress reaction, and the role of catecholamines such as epinephrine, popularly known as adrenaline.

In many animals, aggression can be linked to pheromones released between conspecifics. In mice, major urinary proteins (Mups) have been demonstrated to promote innate aggressive behavior in males.[81][82] Mups activate olfactory sensory neurons in the vomeronasal organ (VNO), a subsystem of the nose known to detect pheromones via specific sensory receptors, of mice[82] and rats.[83] Pheremones have also been identified in fruit flies, detected by neurons in the antenna, that send a message to the brain eliciting aggression; it has been noted that aggression pheremones have not been identified in humans.[84]

In general, differences in a continuous phenotype such as aggression are likely to result from the action of a large number of genes each of small effect, which interact with each other and the environment through development and life.

In a non-mammalian example of genes related to aggression, the fruitless gene in fruit flies is a critical determinant of certain sexually dimorphic behaviors, and its artificial alteration can result in a reversal of stereotypically male and female patterns of aggression in fighting. However, in what was thought to be a relatively clear case, inherent complexities have been reported in deciphering the connections between interacting genes in an environmental context and a social phenotype involving multiple behavioral and sensory interactions with another organism.[85]

In mice, candidate genes for differentiating aggression between the sexes are the Sry (sex determining region Y) gene, located on the Y chromosome and the Sts (steroid sulfatase) gene. The Sts gene encodes the steroid sulfatase enzyme, which is pivotal in the regulation of neurosteroid biosynthesis. It is expressed in both sexes, is correlated with levels of aggression among male mice, and increases dramatically in females after parturition and during lactation, corresponding to the onset of maternal aggression.[59]

In humans, there is good evidence that the basic human neural architecture underpinning the potential for flexible aggressive responses is influenced by genes as well as environment. In terms of variation between individual people, more than 100 twin and adoption studiesstudies have been conducted in recent decades examining the genetic basis of aggressive behavior and related constructs such as conduct disorders. According to a meta-analysis published in 2002, approximately 40% of variation between individuals is explained by differences in genes, and 60% by differences in environment (mainly non-shared environmental influences rather than those that would be shared by being raised together). However, such studies have depended on self-report or observation by others including parents, which complicates interpretation of the results. The few laboratory-based analyses have not found significant amounts of individual variation in aggression explicable by genetic variation in the human population. Furthermore, linkage and association studies that seek to identify specific genes, for example that influence neurotransmitter or hormone levels, have generally resulted in contradictory findings characterized by failed attempts at replication. One possible factor is an allele (variant) of the MAO-A gene which, in interaction with certain life events such as childhood maltreatment (which may show a main effect on its own), can influence development of brain regions such as the amygdala and as a result some types of behavioral response may be more likely. The generally unclear picture has been compared to equally difficult findings obtained in regard to other complex behavioral phenotypes.[86][87]

Humans share aspects of aggression with non-human animals, and have specific aspects and complexity related to factors such as genetics, early development, social learning and flexibility, culture and morals. Konrad Lorenz stated in his 1963 classic, On Aggression, that human behavior is shaped by four main, survival-seeking animal drives. Taken together, these drives-hunger, fear, reproduction, and aggression-achieve natural selection.[88] E.O. Wilson elaborated in On Human Nature that aggression is, typically, a means of gaining control over resources. Aggression is, thus, aggravated during times when high population densities generate resource shortages.[89]

Culture is a factor that plays a role in aggression.

Tribal or band societies existing before or outside of modern states have sometimes been depicted as peaceful 'noble savages' or alternatively as brutish 'beasts'. The Kung Bushmen were described as 'The Harmless People' in a popular work by Elizabeth Marshall Thomas in 1958,[90] while Lawrence Keeley's 1996 War Before Civilization suggested that regular warfare without modern technology was conducted by most groups throughout human history, including most Native American tribes.[91] Studies of hunter-gatherers show a range of different societies. In general, aggression, conflict and violence sometimes occur, but direct confrontation is generally avoided and conflict is socially managed by a variety of verbal and non-verbal methods. Different rates of aggression or violence, currently or in the past, within or between groups, have been linked to the structuring of societies and environmental conditions influencing factors such as resource or property acquisition, land and subsistence techniques, and population change.[92]

Analyzing aggression culturally or politically is complicated by the fact that the label 'aggressive' can itself be used as a way of asserting a judgement from a particular point of view. Whether a coercive or violent method of social control is perceived as aggression - or as legitimate versus illegitimate aggression - depends on the position of the relevant parties in relation to the social order of their culture. This in turn can relate to factors such as: norms for coordinating actions and dividing resources; what is considered self-defense or provocation; attitudes towards 'outsiders', attitudes towards specific groups such as women, the disabled or the lower status; the availability of alternative conflict resolution strategies; trade interdependence and collective security pacts; fears and impulses; and ultimate goals regarding material and social outcomes.[93]

Insignia of the 18th Aggressor Squadron

Cross-cultural research has found differences in attitudes towards aggression in different cultures. In one questionnaire study of university students, in addition to men overall justifying some types of aggression more than women, USA respondents justified defensive physical aggression more readily than Japanese or Spanish respondents, whereas Japanese students preferred direct verbal aggression (but not indirect) more than their American and Spanish counterparts.[94] Within American culture, southern men were shown in a study on university students to be more affected and to respond more aggressively than northerners when randomly insulted after being bumped into, which was theoretically related to a traditional culture of honor in the Southern United States.[95] A similar sociological concept that may be applied in different cultures is 'face'. Other cultural themes sometimes applied to the study of aggression include individualistic versus collectiviststyles, which may relate, for example, to whether disputes are responded to with open competition or by accommodating and avoiding conflicts. Other comparisons made in relation to aggression or war include democratic versus authoritarian political systems and egalitarian versus stratified societies.[93] The economic system known as capitalism has been viewed by some as reliant on the leveraging of human competitiveness and aggression in pursuit of resources and trade, which has been considered in both positive and negative terms.[96] Attitudes about the social acceptability of particular acts or targets of aggression are also important factors. This can be highly controversial, as for example in disputes between religions or nation states, for example in regard to the Arab-Israeli conflict.[97][98]

Some scholars believe that behaviors like aggression may be partially learned by watching and imitating the behavior of others. Some scholars have concluded that media may have some small effects on aggression.[99] There is also research questioning this view.[100] For instance, a recent long-term outcome study of youth found no long-term relationship between playing violent video games and youth violence or bullying.[101] One study suggested there is a smaller effect of violent video games on aggression than has been found with television violence on aggression. This effect is positively associated with type of game violence and negatively associated to time spent playing the games.[102] The author concluded that insufficient evidence exists to link video game violence with aggression. However, another study suggested links to aggressive behavior.[103] One study suggested that adults (i.e. parents) suffering from dissociative symptoms related to post-traumatic stress disorder may be more likely to expose their children to violent programs and video games; links between these issues were also related to poverty.[104]

According to philosopher and neuroscientist Nayef Al-Rodhan, "fear(survival)-induced pre-emptive aggression" is a human reaction to injustices that are perceived to threaten survival. It is often the root of the unthinkable brutality and injustice perpetuated by human beings. It may occur at any time, even in situations that appear to be calm and under control. Where there is injustice that is perceived as posing a threat to survival, "fear(survival)-induced pre-emptive aggression" will result in individuals taking whatever action necessary to be free from that threat.

Nayef Al-Rodhan argues that humans' strong tendency towards "fear(survival)-induced pre-emptive aggression" means that situations of anarchy or near anarchy should be prevented at all costs. This is because anarchy provokes fear, which in turn results in aggression, brutality, and injustice. Even in non-anarchic situations, survival instincts and fear can be very powerful forces, and they may be incited instantaneously. "Fear(survival)-induced pre-emptive aggression" is one of the key factors that may push naturally amoral humans to behave in immoral ways.[105] Knowing this, Al-Rodhan maintains that we must prepare for the circumstances that may arise from humans' aggressive behavior. According to Al-Rodhan, the risk of this aggression and its ensuing brutality should be minimized through confidence-building measures and policies that promote inclusiveness and prevent anarchy.[106]

The frequency of physical aggression in humans peaks at around 2-3 years of age. It then declines gradually on average.[107][108] These observations suggest that physical aggression is not only a learned behavior but that development provides opportunities for the learning and biological development of self-regulation. However, a small subset of children fail to acquire all the necessary self-regulatory abilities and tend to show atypical levels of physical aggression across development. These may be at risk for later violent behavior or, conversely, lack of aggression that may be considered necessary within society. Some findings suggest that early aggression does not necessarily lead to aggression later on, however, although the course through early childhood is an important predictor of outcomes in middle childhood. In addition, physical aggression that continues is likely occurring in the context of family adversity, including socioeconomic factors. Moreover, 'opposition' and 'status violations' in childhood appear to be more strongly linked to social problems in adulthood than simply aggressive antisocial behavior.[109][110] Social learning through interactions in early childhood has been seen as a building block for levels of aggression which play a crucial role in the development of peer relationships in middle childhood.[111] Overall, an interplay of biological, social and environmental factors can be considered.[112]

• Young children preparing to enter kindergarten need to develop the socially important skill of being assertive. Examples of assertiveness include asking others for information, initiating conversation, or being able to respond to peer pressure.
• In contrast, some young children use aggressive behavior, such as hitting or biting, as a form of communication.
• Aggressive behavior can impede learning as a skill deficit, while assertive behavior can facilitate learning. However, with young children, aggressive behavior is developmentally appropriate and can lead to opportunities of building conflict resolution and communication skills.
• By school age, children should learn more socially appropriate forms of communicating such as expressing themselves through verbal or written language; if they have not, this behavior may signify a disability or developmental delay

• Physical fear of others
• Family difficulties
• Learning, neurological, or conduct/behavior disorders
• Psychological trauma

Corporal punishment such as spanking increases subsequent aggression in children.[113]

The Bobo doll experiment was conducted by Albert Bandura in 1961. In this work, Bandura found that children exposed to an aggressive adult model acted more aggressively than those who were exposed to a nonaggressive adult model. This experiment suggests that anyone who comes in contact with and interacts with children can have an impact on the way they react and handle situations.[114]

• American Academy of Pediatrics (2011): "The best way to prevent aggressive behavior is to give your child a stable, secure home life with firm, loving discipline and full-time supervision during the toddler and preschool years. Everyone who cares for your child should be a good role model and agree on the rules he's expected to observe as well as the response to use if he disobeys."[115]
• National Association of School Psychologists (2008): "Proactive aggression is typically reasoned, unemotional, and focused on acquiring some goal. For example, a bully wants peer approval and victim submission, and gang members want status and control. In contrast, reactive aggression is frequently highly emotional and is often the result of biased or deficient cognitive processing on the part of the student."[116]

Gender is a factor that plays a role in both human and animal aggression. Males are historically believed to be generally more physically aggressive than females from an early age,[117][118] and men commit the vast majority of murders (Buss 2005). This is one of the most robust and reliable behavioral sex differences, and it has been found across many different age groups and cultures. However, some empirical studies have found the discrepancy in male and female aggression to be more pronounced in childhood and the gender difference in adults to be modest.[119] Still, there is evidence that males are quicker to aggression (Frey et al. 2003) and more likely than females to express their aggression physically.[120] When considering indirect forms of non-violent aggression, such as relational aggression and social rejection, some scientists argue that females can be quite aggressive although female aggression is rarely expressed physically.[121][122][123] An exception is intimate partner violence that occurs among couples who are engaged, married, or in some other form of intimate relationship. In such cases women have been found to be more physically aggressive than men, although differences are small, men are less likely to be injured than are women.[124]

Studies show, that females in general have better control over their emotions in comparison to males. Also, males are more likely to retaliate when provoked to gain recognition; females are less likely to retaliate in a violent way because they are shielded by moral sense.[125] Although females are less likely to initiate physical violence, they can express aggression by using a variety of non-physical means. Exactly which method women use to express aggression is something that varies from culture to culture. On Bellona Island, a culture based on male dominance and physical violence, women tend to get into conflicts with other women more frequently than with men. When in conflict with males, instead of using physical means, they make up songs mocking the man, which spread across the island and humiliate him. If a woman wanted to kill a man, she would either convince her male relatives to kill him or hire an assassin. Although these two methods involve physical violence, both are forms of indirect aggression, since the aggressor herself avoids getting directly involved or putting herself in immediate physical danger.[126]

See also the sections on testosteroneand evolutionary explanations for gender differences above.

There has been some links between those prone to violence and their alcohol use. Those who are prone to violence and use alcohol are more likely to carry out violent acts.[127] Alcohol impairs judgment, making people much less cautious than they usually are (MacDonald et al. 1996). It also disrupts the way information is processed (Bushman 1993, 1997; Bushman & Cooper 1990).

Pain and discomfort also increase aggression. Even the simple act of placing one's hands in hot water can cause an aggressive response. Hot temperatures have been implicated as a factor in a number of studies. One study completed in the midst of the civil rights movement found that riots were more likely on hotter days than cooler ones (Carlsmith & Anderson 1979). Students were found to be more aggressive and irritable after taking a test in a hot classroom (Anderson et al. 1996, Rule, et al. 1987). Drivers in cars without air conditioning were also found to be more likely to honk their horns (Kenrick & MacFarlane 1986), which is used as a measure of aggression and has shown links to other factors such as generic symbols of aggression or the visibility of other drivers.[128]

Frustration is another major cause of aggression. The Frustration aggression theory states that aggression increases if a person feels that he or she is being blocked from achieving a goal (Aronson et al. 2005). One study found that the closeness to the goal makes a difference. The study examined people waiting in line and concluded that the 2nd person was more aggressive than the 12th one when someone cut in line (Harris 1974). Unexpected frustration may be another factor. In a separate study to demonstrate how unexpected frustration leads to increased aggression, Kulik & Brown (1979) selected a group of students as volunteers to make calls for charity donations. One group was told that the people they would call would be generous and the collection would be very successful. The other group was given no expectations. The group that expected success was more upset when no one was pledging than the group who did not expect success (everyone actually had horrible success). This research suggests that when an expectation does not materialize (successful collections), unexpected frustration arises which increases aggression.

There is some evidence to suggest that the presence of violent objects such as a gun can trigger aggression. In a study done by Leonard Berkowitz and Anthony Le Page (1967), college students were made angry and then left in the presence of a gun or badminton racket. They were then led to believe they were delivering electric shocks to another student, as in the Milgram experiment. Those who had been in the presence of the gun administered more shocks. It is possible that a violence-related stimulus increases the likelihood of aggressive cognitions by activating the semantic network.

A new proposal links military experience to anger and aggression, developing aggressive reactions and investigating these effects on those possessing the traits of a serial killer. Castle and Hensley state, "The military provides the social context where servicemen learn aggression, violence, and murder."[129]Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is also a serious issue in the military, also believed to sometimes lead to aggression in soldiers who are suffering from what they witnessed in battle. They come back to the civilian world and may still be haunted by flashbacks and nightmares, causing severe stress. In addition, it has been claimed that in the rare minority who are claimed to be inclined toward serial killing, violent impulses may be reinforced and refined in war, possibly creating more effective murderers.[citation needed]

Some recent scholarship has questioned traditional psychological conceptualizations of aggression as universally negative.[26] Most traditional psychological definitions of aggression focus on the harm to the recipient of the aggression, implying this is the intent of the aggressor; however this may not always be the case.[130] From this alternate view, although the recipient may or may not be harmed, the perceived intent is to increase the status of the aggressor, not necessarily to harm the recipient.[131] Such scholars contend that traditional definitions of aggression have no validity.[citation needed]

How do you know he's not lying about that too?

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NO! but that is just my opinion, and I have dealt with a lot of liars. I don't think that people change their ways -- or it is very, very rare for someone to change and stay changed. I just don't think it's going to happen. A liar only says he's sorry because he got caught!

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My ex-boyfriend was a liar and after saying that he was sorry he still lied to me. He lied a minute after he told me he was never going to lie again! He is still lying now and I know that he has a psychological problem. I am not sure if his parents agree though. I think his dad and the younger family member have the same problem. Liar's remain liars. Unless they are changed by God. God is all powerful and with Him all things are possible!

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I am 15. I used to lie all the time about little things, major things, basically it was almost like a normal thing I would do. until about a year ago I realized just what I had been saying I liked attention. It was such a mistake to liar the amount of guilt I have is ridiculous, I cry often and punished myself I wish I never lied but people have accepted me, I have confessed a lot because otherwise it just builds up more and more inside and the guilt becomes worse and worse people have forgave me but I don't know if I can forgive myself. Please if you lie, try to stop. It isn't healthy.

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NO! No way. He's a Compulsive Liar. He does nothing but LIE. Why believe him if he tells you that he's working on it. That's another one of the LIES he tells you so he can get what he wants. Don't believe a word he says. Get away from the compulsive liar and don't go back. They are real good at making people feel sorry for them. They play head games. These kind of people should not be trusted. They're like drug addicts or alcoholics. First they need to admit they have a problem and then get PROFESSIONAL HELP!

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As a compulsive liar myself I find it very hurtful some of the things people say about the sickness, which is exactly what compulsive lying is A SICKNESS! I have just recently admitted to myself and the person who means the most to me (my wonderful boyfriend) that I am in fact a compulsive liar! Do drug addicts or alcoholics not deserve the chance to get help from a loved one so that they can recover. Yes you have to admit it but I find it comforting and helpful knowing that I have my family and my boyfriend to help me. Don't give up on the person, help them! If the person is trying to get help and admit it. They really want to change (at least this person)...

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It is possible for a compulsive liar to address their problem but they can only do it with help and support. It is no good saying they're working on it. They must have some kind of proof that they are getting help. Compulsive Liars are suffering from an illness. They need to change the way that they respond to themselves and their lives. It is not easy but everyone deserves the chance to try and change their lives. Sometimes they need someone to hold their hand to get help. Ultimately you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink!

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I don't think anyone who is compulsive would change, I think if you don't know for sure that they are getting help, they can't stop lying long enough for you to take their word for it!

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If a compulsive liar claims to be working on the issue, any attempt would be disingenuous and only for ulterior motives . A compulsive liar will continue to lie when the truth is in front of him in black & white. The only issue they will really be working on, will be how to keep you from finding out their next deception.

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It's possible. You need to take them to a psychologist, someone who knows the mind and knows how to get around the lies. Someone, who can show them how their lies affect others and why they need to stop lying.

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Of course it is possible to change if you are a compulsive liar, I am living proof. Many times there are reasons why you do this, for myself I was abused and had very poor self esteem. In certain instances I felt the need to lie to make myself feel more adequate in a situation, I always felt poorly about my life or personality so I would try to become something I wasn't through lying about my life. It is a hard cycle to break because you really need to deal with the abuse and the self esteem issues not the lying issues. The lying will stop after you learn to deal with your abuse and get some self esteem.

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The answer rests with the liar: only he can change IF he WANTS to change. However, I don't think that's likely to happen -- they are a predator who is happy that way.

I wouldn't recommend being a party to the liar's "recovery" -- unless you want to be absolutely gutted by a mind-bending, reality twisting, manipulative, using, abusing and violating subhuman.

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Compulsive liars are not "its." My best friend is a compulsive liar and I have been hurt many times by him because he told me he was abused and made up terrible things like that up to get attention. If I give up on him he will have no one, they need help and people like you aren't doing the job. His parents are both dead and I think that is why, most compulsive liars have probably been neglected in some way, and to help them you need to be there and give him positive feedback about who he really is like " you look great with the haircut" but check if hes a narcissistic. They want your pity, give it to them. He lacks self respect and self esteem people can change, but not by themselves or by being insulted. Be more mature about the issue and realize that most of them don't even know that they are lying trust me your friend probably has a very hard time sleeping at night.

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I am a compulsive liar. I have just been able to see the seriousness of my problem and that is sad. I lie because I think it is fun. I too have a low self esteem and I lie to build up a life that I perceive as more normal or more appealing to outsiders. I make up exciting stories all the time or elaborate on true stories. My friends love to hear me talk but most don't know I am lying. I am a very good liar, I learned that and how to be manipulative from my mother. I just told the guy that I have been in a relationship with for the past two months everything about me. He is the first that I have rescinded all of my lies and told only the truth to. Only, it is too late. He is hurt and torn up that I kept up the lies and the stories for this long, not being able to trust him with the sad truth that is my boring life. He made me realize just how hurtful lying can be to other people. Since I am a compulsive liar, I do not trust anything people tell me, so I am rarely surprised when someone comes to me and tells me that they have lied. I guess I expect that everyone is an undercover liar just like me. I do believe that I can change my ways but believe me, it's hard. Being a compulsive liar is like being a drunk or a druggie: lying is our fix. I still believe that there is a thrill to be gotten to lying with people and it does help to mask some of the problems in my life from time to time but I am wiling to give up this excitement so that I may foster normal relationships with people that I care about. I am tired of hurting others and losing others truth. It hurts me to think of how much someone believed everything I said and then when I tell them something different it makes them believe that they got to know the lie I created instead of getting to know me. I will seek professional help but I just wanted to say that there is hope for us, we just need to see how our selfishness truly effects those we care about for us to be willing to change.

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My wife and I of 8 years have always had problems like any other relationship. I used to be a compulsive liar, but only because everyone in my family was also. My mother was an alcoholic and so is my wife. I have gotten over the compulsive lying with one exception and that is with my wife. I always look up to her and love her more than anything in my life. I just can not stand to see the disappointment in her eyes and the mistrust that I have caused. She has always been very verbally abusive, and I was a liar! I left my wife three weeks ago not because of her verbal abuses but because I can not stand to see the hurt I am causing. I stopped lying to her for 2 years and then slipped and told a really stupid lie. I saw the look in her eye when I had done this again, and I left because I don't want to hurt her anymore. I appreciate the kind words above writer has about recovery and needing that helping hand. I am to the point that if I can hurt someone I love with that kind of ignorance, there is no help for us liars.

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I cannot answer yes or no to that question, In my heart I believe that my husband would change if he could, yet it smacks me in the face when he tells another lie that no amount of professional help can change him. Having read all the other views on this page, and knowing the reason behind my husbands lies, (he too was abused), I still feel non the wiser as to how to solve this problem because no matter how much you try to help someone get out of the habit of creating a seemingly better imaginary world inside their head, the real world doesn't stop turning and it doesn't stop the people you love the most from walking away. All I can say to the people out there who "lie for fun" is this... How would you feel if one day you had a real problem and there was no-one who cared because you had driven them away? My husbands problem is frustrating me no end, but when I think of my life without him it doesn't seem any richer. I guess time will tell whether he stops lying, its stupid because they aren't even huge whoppers either, it's stupid everyday little things, but its not even the subject of the lies that's cracking me up, it's the continuity of them.

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I can sympathize with those who advocate not giving liars another chance, and it seems to me that on the whole, like with any compulsive behavior, people are unlikely to change, until at least they hit rock bottom. I have been a compulsive liar most of my life. I have certainly told people that I would change, and not meant it, when I just wanted to get out of an embarrassing situation. I have also, many times, wanted to change from the bottom of my heart and failed. I even remember making a commitment to not lying when I was eight or nine. Nearly twenty years on, it's still an issue that I battle with and it makes me ashamed of myself.

Having said this, my lying has become much less frequent and serious over time, as my life situation has changed steadily for the better. Having achieved things that previously I would have lied about (like getting an education) I find now that the gap between who I am and who I would like to be is getting narrower, raising my self-esteem and slowly allowing me to let go of the habit of lying, which before was the only way to emotionally survive. It's taking time and habits are hard to break (sometimes I exaggerate things to make them more interesting or lie as a way to get out of a tricky situation), but I'm getting there, and almost without noticing, my mind is catching up with the idea that lying is no longer something I need in my life.

I do have a point: yes, liars can be exasperating and on the whole, should probably not be trusted; but they are still human beings with genuine emotions, capable of hurt and love and regret, and often they are trying to put behind them painful pasts, which taught them one had to lie to survive, to maintain a minimum of self-esteem, to be accepted by others. Even when these people's lives become better, the program is still in their heads, and automatically they continue to behave in the same way. Trust and believing, and believing once again, when someone is constantly lying to you is probably not the appropriate response, but a bit of compassion might be called for.

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I am a compulsive liar. Its very hard to quit. I really enjoy lying, but hate to feel the consequences. I hope someone out there understands the pain we go through.

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I believe that compulsive lying is not only a disease, but it is an addiction as well. My husband is addicted to lying - and at this point I firmly believe that he will never be able to change. Some of the lies are very extravagant, while others are simple. I have MANY times sat down and talked to him about his lying, and have asked him to be honest with me. He just cannot and will not change. His parents don't like to talk about it - they are in denial that their precious little boy is a compulsive liar. I know that when I leave him he will make up all kinds of stories about me, about what a horrible person I've been. He has lied to me for the 7 years we've been together. He lies to everyone he knows. He can't keep friends or jobs, because eventually they catch on to his lies. He would rather make up a story and risk losing his friends, etc, than tell the truth. He makes me feel like I am crazy - that's what happens when someone plays mind games with you and they are very good at telling lies. It would be great if he could recover from this illness, but it doesn't look hopeful at this point. Like someone else said in this forum, it would probably take him hitting rock bottom before he ever wanted to change. It's good to know I am not the only one who has been "abused" by a compulsive liar.

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Hello, I am a compulsive liar, I have been offered help many times. You need to hit bottom, period. My dishonesty has affected my wife and kids and our families, I have hit bottom. My parents denied any problem for years and when they did help I was not willing to accept it. It has affected the way my family treated me. I was sexually abused when I was in my teens by a stranger and it increased my anxiety and self-esteem especially in relationships to a high degree. This had a profound effect on my relationships and I have never felt worthy. As a result I suffer from depression. I am finally being honest with myself 'out loud' for the first time in my life. I am actively seeking help. I have tried to control it many ways and have never had the courage to face myself. I have no one to blame. It is not an easy thing but if you can find the courage you can start. I found my courage in the tears of my wife and our wonderful life which my lies have destroyed and hurt. The love she had for me and the hurt I have caused is apparent. My wife tries to explain my actions as psychotic or delusional or bipolar and it is a very difficult thing to grasp. I will forever regret how I have hurt her and my families. I am getting help, because this is destroying me. You just have to make the decision and realize that you hurt others that love you needlessly.

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As a person who's been married to a compulsive liar, and myself, have been pretty bad with lies as well, I can see it from both sides. Growing up, I lied about lots of things for various reasons. I, like your cookie-cutter case, was abused physically for 10 years by my father, and for different reasons, have self-esteem that's in the toilet. I haven't had a pleasant life, and rather than dealing with it, I sought solace in the lies I created to protect myself from the pain of dealing with reality. My lying, no matter what the reason was, was inexcusable. On one hand, you want to be loved, etc, but on the other hand, you will never get what you are truly looking for out of life when you live a lie - it will catch up to you in the end. I wouldn't necessarily classify myself back then as a compulsive liar, but I did lie a lot, and mostly to the people I didn't want to hurt, namely my mother. There came a point in my life where I realized just how much I hurt my mother - the tears she'd shed from my lies, and the fact that even the littlest things, she couldn't trust me with, or when she needed someone to lean on, as much as she wanted to lean on me, she couldn't, because she didn't trust me. I've become a lot better at telling the truth, and have devoted myself to making sure I do just that at all costs, as it is far more important to live my own life, and not a fake one that I created, and it is also important to me that I'm looked at with trust, and not a question. On the other hand, I suppose one could say I got a dose of my own medicine, as I'm now dealing with a true compulsive liar, and have been for nearly 6 years; Where everything that is said and done is a lie. Nothing is sacred and safe from his lies. We've almost lost our vehicles from him lying about car payments being sent. He's almost been arrested for lying about fines being paid, when it reality they weren't. The lies range from small ones "Yes, I scooped the litter box" when he hasn't, to bigger ones, like lying about mailing payments. It's hurt me terribly, and is to the point where it is literally making me crazy, when I'm constantly wondering what "dead body" I will dig up next. I thought I knew my husband very well, but the more I dig up on him, the more I realize, I don't. I don't really think I even know who this person is anymore. It's to the point where I can't even stand to look at him from all of the lies I've been dealt and continue to deal with. In the end, the only way a compulsive liar will stop, is when he/she truly recognizes what is going on and is willing to acknowledge his/her issues, and get serious help. It's very similar, IMO, to dealing with alcoholism, and the like. There is a very long drawn out process in recovery, not only for the liar, but for the one who has been coping with the lies as well, and even then, there is a real good possibility that one will fall back to old routines, rather than dealing with the reality of their life. They also need to get to the core of their need to lie and resolve that issue, in hopes that the desire to lie will lessen; you can't kill a weed without pulling out the roots. If they are not able to commit to a serious life change and some serious help... if they can not come to terms with the consequences of their lies, and are not willing to get to the root of the lying, then, no there is no possibility of recovering. It is in the liar's hands. In the case of my husband, he is most definitely not ready for this jump, and may never be - dealing with life as it is, rather than the fake world that one created, is very hard, and I don't feel he's ready to look into the mirror and see what he's done. I've been told many times by him that he wants the lying to stop, but in the end, even after 3 counseling sessions, we've gotten nowhere. Sometimes it's best to just get out of such a situation, before you yourself begin spiraling down because of their lies. If you can handle the mind games, the questions, and the "dead bodies" buried in your yard, and the possibility that these things may never end, then more power to you, but at the same time, it's rough being on the other end, and god help me, I'm terribly sorry for what I put my mother through, and glad I've matured from lying so much - I wish I could say the same for my husband, but unfortunately, it will probably be too late for him before he ever learns how much hurt and pain he's caused me.

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I'm turning 17 and I'm not really sure if I am a compulsive liar. I think I am because lies come out so naturally. I know it has hurt many people in my family and right now I really do not know what I should do! I don't want to lie any more I just want to live my life as a normal teenager. What can I do? I really need help. I have always denied this but I think I have hit rock bottom, and the thing is that I cant even lie! I am serious. l suck at it and most of the time I get found out! Please help

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It is possible for a compulsive liar to recover if he claims to be working on the issue, in my opinion at least. I myself was a compulsive liar at one point in my life. When I first started high school I had to deal with a lot of peer pressure and that's when I started lying. At first I wouldn't lie that much, I would only lie when it was necessary. As the years progressed I began to lie more and more and more. By my final year of high school, I couldn't tell anyone anything that had any facts in it what so ever. It didn't bother me either. I felt comfortable as I lied, I believed in what I said despite the fact that they were lies.

However there was light at the end of the tunnel. Without the help of a therapist of any psychologist I managed to recover from being a liar. It is not a hopeless cause. It all started when I began to realize all the damage I was causing. Despite the fact that I believed in what I said I knew something was wrong, it hurt inside. After a few weeks of hurting almost everyone I knew through the means of lying it just came to me. I realized I needed to stop.

It was hard trying to stop at first. I would try to talk without lying, and it wouldn't help that people would presume you were lying anyway. That's the kind of response you get from all of that lying. That makes it incredibly hard for the liar to ever recover on his own. I still knew what I was doing was wrong, and continued to try and tell the true. I continued to try and have a sensible conversation without lying. I knew they still thought I was lying about everything. Needless to say I pulled through and here I am today. I don't lie anymore at all. Well I shouldn't say at all, but when I do lie I get a miserable pit in my stomach that doesn't go away for weeks.

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To the CL that left his wife because he didn't want to hurt her anymore... Don't! You made it clear you love her. You are only lying more by running away from what you want. To all CL's there is hope. Find God. He can heal all things and he forgives you. Go home to your wife, God hates Divorce. The last thing your wife needs is to feel alone and that you don't love her.

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There is hope. I have been married to a CL for 7 years. He has committed adultery. He has spent the last 6 years looking at me in the face and making up so many lies to cover his tracks. Even his emails to other girls say the craziest things, ridiculous lies. I cant get him to confess or tell me the truth about anything. I have to completely show him proof of his sins before he will finally breakdown and say.... "ok, I did it". He like all the other CL's don't know why they lie. But, I trust in God. He can fix this. The Devil tells me to move on, be free of this, you will be so much happier... but God says in black and white that he hates Divorce. Trust in God, surrender and confess to him. You don't even have to confess it to anyone else, just God. Come clean.

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30/11/05

I am 32 and I have been a compulsive liar since l was a young boy. It has become second nature to me, l feel as if everything that comes out of my mouth is a lie. I have been with my wife 10 years now and have lied to her on many occasions. She has found out on several occasions that l have lied to her and she has told me that l lie once more then she will leave me. Even when she finds out that l have lied, l lie again to cover my tracks...why?

Finally today l have realized what l have been doing to my wife and children. My wife said to me today before leaving the house that she could not look at me without feeling sick and that she does not know who l am anymore. I don't know who l am and l have felt this way for a long time and lying is the only way l can fabricate a live that is interesting and exciting.

I have very few friends and feel that when l am out with them they are lying as well. I feel as l can not say anything without lying, l don't know who l am anymore.

I think now that l have realized that l am a compulsive liar l am on the road to recovery. I am going to book an appointment with the doctor this afternoon and seek some help. I don't know what happens now, but l want to get away from the feeling l have when l lie.

My wife and kids have just walked through the door while l have been typing this and l have not lied to them, l feel as if l have achieved something already. I am going to take everyday as it comes and try and save my marriage. I don't want my kids to become liars like me.

I believe lying is a habit, like any other habit you need to break it and it is finding the mechanism to do that. Good luck to every liar out there to break this illness.

I am going to say "Honesty is the best policy" in my head before l open my mouth and talk.

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I just stumbled across this site and I am really glad that I did. I don't feel so confused and unsure of myself anymore.

I have been involved with a person with whom I love very much, but I cannot stand to look at anymore let alone have a physical relationship with. We have been involved off and on for the past 13 years and have lived together for the past 5 and have two children.

I have encountered so many different kinds of lies from the little and meaningless to those that have cost me thousands upon thousands of dollars and me to live a debt and stress filled life.

I don't have any personal enjoyment derived from my family life, I feel miserable every time that I walk in the door and I have turned into a suspicious and sneaky person to enable me uncover some of his more serious lies and it makes me sick to my stomach.

We have had huge blown out arguments and fights where I want him so badly to move out and get out of my life and he admits and then apologizes and I'm sure tells some more lies, but our girls and their dad love each other very much and we've already done the visitation thing, again, lies and tension but derived directly at me, so keeping him at home is hard on me, but the right thing to do for the girls.

I am at the point of potentially having to claim personal bankruptcy for the second time, losing not much really because he's kept us from getting ahead financially for years. We haven't been able to buy a house, pay-off the car loan, purchase RRSP's or anything like that, well I guess you can all make the correct assumption on this one.

Anyways, it's just nice to be able to kind of tell this to someone and to know that I'm not alone in this type of situation.

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Hopefully we can recover. I have been a compulsive liar for quite sometime now. It never effected me until my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me b/c of my lies. I didn't realize how bad lying could be until you hurt someone that means everything to you. Lying has became natural to me, one lie leads to the next. I can't understand why I lie, but hopefully one day I can figure it out. At least I came to the conclusion that I do have a problem and hopefully it can be solved. I have faith that I can change this so-called disorder.

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I believe that we can change for the better and get over this horrible problem. I just realized tonight how bad it has gotten for me. I have lost my wife's trust and it kills me inside. I realize I need help and have been calling counselors to set up appointments to help myself. My father is a compulsive liar and I remember seeing it at a young age. I saw how he lied to my mother and in the end they divorced because of it. I refuse to let that happen to my marriage!! You have to find the urge in yourself to want to change and to get better. I vow to beat this problem and earn my wife's complete trust and love back. There is nothing worse than seeing someone you are in love with heartbroken and crying because of your words.

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My ex-boyfriend is a compulsive liar. He thinks it's a funny game to lie and manipulate his friends and family and turn everyone against everyone else. He is only 22 yrs old. I have confronted him several times about his lies but he just tells more lies to cover the old ones up. He lies so much that he truly believes what he says. That's how I caught him and figured he is a compulsive liar. His lies are big and some involve things that could land him in jail cell. Is it true that when a compulsive liar gets intoxicated that his/her true self comes out, or is he just lying through the alcohol?

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I have decided to get help, to change radically, NOT because I got "caught" by someone else, but because in a moment of sudden clarity, I caught myself. My lies have been many. Some I could see in the moment. Others I believed so profoundly that I made personal and professional decisions based on things that never happened. Sometimes this feels like a form of amnesia; sometimes it feels like a narrative that starts spinning our of me and is out of my control. I am so convincing in my stories that I get to where I cannot tell the difference. recently I started a chronological chart of my life, placing next to each event a person that could confirm my claim. Much to my horror, some of the events that I was most convinced of in my past were denied by people who were around me then. I see now, looking both from therapy and my intention to change, that this is a complex problem. There are many grey areas between the diagnostic categories of psychology (pathological, compulsive, histrionic lying). I am less interested in finding a name for my condition than I am in addressing the profound fears and shame that created such a defense mechanism. Most of the things I lie about are in the past, but the habit leaks into even small behaviors in everyday life, always in places where I might feel shame. I often feel in a trance while covering myself with a lie, especially about my horrid childhood. Ironically, I have filled my life with real accomplishments and work in many ways that allow me to serve others. However, I am never enough, and am constantly ornamenting things that are fine in themselves in ways that make me look even more important and accomplished. Never enough. Never lovable. I have asked my friends to stop me when they hear something fantastical or weird come out of my mouth. I am even looking at what I want to say before I utter the words, to discern what is not so in the initial way I thought up a sentence. There are therapies, there is Neuro Linguistic Programming, there are many roads to improvement. For me the keys are meditation, the support of friends who truly believe in the person that has always been there under the lies, and a commitment to greater discernment and healing. The task is formidable. But we CAN and do change, with determination, hope, and compassion for ourselves. One day at a time. One sentence at a time.

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Carola, It looks like you've come such a long way! Way to go. I'm sure life is rewarding you for being strong. I have just read the tread and I am worried. I have meet the love of my life and I'm messing it up. I have built a wall of protection built by the things I believed people wanted to believe. I have come to understand that I have been building an identity to please others to make life easy for my self. I have hit the bottom as I am about to lose the first person I have been able to trust. I meet a man by chance, but I lied from the start telling him what I though he needed to hear to find me attractive. after a year of falling in love I had to confess because of the panic attacks. guilt was driving me mad for the first time, in 32 years of living I have began to assess my ego and the fact that I was destroy something good because I don't believe I am worth it. My mum and dad have a long term marriage but build on lies. its part of their game. Being tomboy to please my dad as he wanted a son taught me to be ruff and tough but as soon as I hit sexual activity and behaved like a man. It has only been through meeting the love of my live that I have started to address the imbalance in my id/ego. how can I expect him to support me as he is the one that has given me the love to open up to my lying. When I confessed in one big go that I have being plain old conning him he gave me another chance. From that moment on everything changed it was like clockwork orange as soon as I told a lie I have strong panic attacks. the feeling that I was gonna go mad unless I told the truth. Even when I was given too much change in Sainburys I gave it back and received no thank you but had to do it because I had already made the change. That hit home to me that I believed I should be reward for telling the truth. The truth should have been second nature but for me it was a question. I had to seek medical help for the panic attacks but after a month of beta blockers I wanted to get off. I have been reading N.L.P. to find ways of training my behavior. But so far it has been on my own. my biggest concern is hurting an amazing man that should have better than me right now. I know I make him so happy in every way expect my passed. I tried to do the right thing by sending a letter to an old pal of ten years ago whom I have stayed in contact with as we traveled together and had a sexual experience once as I want to commit to my partner and get rid of any old ties. the day I posted a letter to say hello and goodbye my old friend he calls from abroad by chance, I have to tell my boyfriend the truth or as my central nervous system kicks off. at first I cover up as that is natural for me but I have nothing to cover up as I have tried to do the right thing and politely say good buy to an old male friend so I would be free of my passed by posting a letter that morning by chance but I did not tell my partner in the moment. As soon as I walked out the door to go to the shops the panic hit me and I had to tell him that I had already sent a letter say good luck and that I wanted to focus on my partner. I could have not said any thing as that could have cost less harm but I am so impulsed to tell the truth now that I can't cope with the littlest lie. even if telling the truth after lying cost me the love of my life I will accept it with grace as I have made my bed, and I must lie in it. he has given me the gift of love and trust for the first time in my life and I have been destroying it by reflecting my past problems on to a true human being. I have been studying N.L.P to try and rebuild my self. I have studied mental health in the past but it is not helping at the moment I have a second appointment with a counselor and have got myself off the beta blockers. My partner does not like the idea of me talking to someone else or getting medical help and taking pills to cope and I understand but I believe that I need a professional to help me. I don't think it will matter as when he wakes up tomorrow he will want me out of his life as I am to much hassle for a man so wonderful as him. I hate to say it but the man who has shown me the light and given me the chance to trust has had enough of me. it hurts so deep as I have opened up to him with all my heart and when I have said wrong I have confess because I love him like no other, so much so that if I don't tell the truth my body attacks me so I have no choice but to tell the truth even if it destroys everything which it has tonight. it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I will thank him every day of my life you showing me true love is possible, even if I'm not worthy of receiving it. I hope one day I will have the time and the chance to teach this to others before it is to late for them. I believe this is a tough path but without taking the right steps for myself you or I will never be ready to find a true soul. I know life will give me another chance but what scares me deeply is I will always wish I had got it right with the man I am about to lose. I believe love is the only thing that can help. But when you destroy love because you feel you are not worthy you blame yourself. I am asking too much of my partner he has a life of his own and a company to run and I am not helping him but putting my head problem on him. Do I walk away because I love him so much and feel he is going to do better with out me. Or do I believe in the love that it so strong to me and fight to be with him. I just want him to happy with or without me. I don't care for me because he has already given me more that I have had before. In fact I believe I should feel pain in relation to all the pain I have been party to causing over the years. He will go far and be a total success. I will love him till the day I die. The soul mate I always wanted in my dreams will have to go back into to my dreams. I hope that one day I will be worthy of my dreams... one day.

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In my experience it seemed the person truly meant what he was saying.... but.... nothing ever changed or improved.... turned out to be more lies! Be careful of yourself! Take good care of yourself! Protect your self, the adult and the child parts of yourself! It is hard to know when one is lying and your trust is sacred and special.... when it is repeatedly squashed, you might become squashed also!

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I believe it is possible to recover from compulsive lying. I am not a liar, but a drug addict. I believe I suffered from what I believe most liars suffer from. LOW SELF-ESTEEM. To all those that need to know this. You must love yourself before you can truly love another. Material goods are nothing but shallow distractions. Truly love yourself and you can live with next to nothing and be truly happy! Once, before I came to my self-realization, I found myself with all the money and toys that I thought would make me happy. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't happy. Then one day I lost everything I had. I realized that I hadn't faced the truth. I hated myself. I dropped the hate. I work to improve where I am not pleased with myself (where I reasonably can) instead of escaping with drugs or like with other people here, LYING. I am still view myself at the bottom of the pile as far as true accomplishments but it doesn't depress me like it used to. Why? I am finally making positive progress, even if its just a little at a time. I am facing my demons instead of running scared! I feel happier than I have in 25 years! Lying, like drugs, is just delaying your recovery! Delaying your true happiness! Of course compulsive liars can be cured! They just have to know what it feels like to be truly happy! As cheezy as it may sound, I give my love to all. I hope you can see and love your true self for what it is. For better or worse. Ugly or pretty. Fat or skinny. Smart or stupid. Perfect or imperfect. Love yourself and good things will happen to you. Trust me.

I didn't understand your question very well, but there's a sleep disorder where you rock back and forth the entire night so much that you can't sleep. I don't remember what it's called. You might want to search for that on www.webmd.com or through the DSM-IV (it's a really big book that lists every known psychological disorder.) I hope I helped! ^_^

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- Punching walls out of anger

- Punching people out of anger

- Dramatic mood swings

- Pretty much doing anything violent out of anger.

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Hostile aggression is aggression against another person with the intent to physical cause harm, which always has an element of anger.

Common examples of this are sibling rivelry that involves physical abuse (my brother whacked me on the head with a wooden toy when I was three years old, he was very angry about something); team sports sometimes leads to hostile agression when one player physically attacks another or even an official; personal relationships can get out of control with one partner physically abusing the other.

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Hostile aggression refers to an act of aggression stemming from feelings of anger and aimed at inflicting pain.

An example of this can be yelling at one's child just to make them feel bad, or hurting them intentionally by blackmail, or calling names, etc.