Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence

It's never just one answer for an individual and there are different reasons for different people. Generally though, I think that fear of something is the only reason to stay in an abusive relationship or even just to keep it secret. Hiding the abuse helps to hide the fact that action needs to be taken to protect oneself against the abuser. If no one knows about it, you don't need to fix it. Maybe it's an attemtp to hide the relationship's problems from one's self. Maybe it's a fear of the unknown, a fear of ending the relationship, fear of starting over, fear of further abuse if the plan to leave the relationship fall apart, fear of opening oneself to a new relationship, fear of real intimacy...The woman may be threatened that something bad will happen to her or the kids if she tells anyone. I guess the list goes on an on. There may be a few reasons not having to do with fear at all too though, like needing to stay in order to have time to show the abuser that they are doing something wrong, or to prove that the woman/victim is strong enough to withstand the abuse. Maybe the woman also wants the outside world to view her life in a certain way, so she can't admit to anything less than perfect. There are so many reasons and they are as individual as the person and the circumstances (past and present).

According to a report by the Every Child Matters Education Fund, Kentucky has the highest child abuse death rate with more than 4 deaths per 100,000 children yearly and 41 deaths in 2007.

Other states with high child abuse death rates include South Dakota, Florida, Nebraska and Missouri.

Every year 3 million child abuse cases are reported in the United States.

You can't tell if a pathological liar is lying. They are sociopaths and have learned to mimic the behavior of truth. I know! I lived with one of the most skillful highly functioning and respected lying professionals for 27 years. He fooled me and everyone around him and was considered a trusted upstanding citizen by all and still holds a place of power in his community. If you asked most people what they thought of him they would sing his praises.

That depends on the type of abuse - emotional, physical, or sexual. For sexuakl abuse, it is most common between ages 11-14, but can happen well before that

This is me, person who posted the question. I want to stop, but I don't know how. I used to be the victim and now I am the "perp". When I was a victim, the therapist told my spouse I was codependent and it was hard as I had driven him to hurt me. He stopped after much effort and major relocations. Now I hurt him and hurt myself in the process, I feel awful that I became all the things I hated and dispised. I carry bruises from my own actions, I hurt people I love, I want to stop but I don't know how. It's from unrealistic expectations and inability to stop disturbing and obsessive thoughts about historical things that have no impact now. sigh.

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* Anger management is a skills base class that teaches participants how to change their thinking and behavior. Anger management is good because it helps participants learn essential skills for improving communication, managing stress, becoming more empathic and improving judgment and impulse control. Anger management is also helpful because it teaches participants better coping skills and ways of improving their "anger response". While many participants take anger management classes for a court order, others may take them for personal growth and self improvement. Anger management should not be viewed as punitive, but rather a helpful course in increasing skills. Ari Novick, Ph.D. AJ Novick Group, Inc. - Anger Management http://www.ajnovickgroup.com http://www.angerclassonline.com * Anger Management can be very successful, but it takes some training and cooperation from the individual. Anger Management gives you the tools to combate stress, taking more control of yourself and understanding other individuals opinions. === ===

Every day, about four children die in the U.S. because of abuse or neglect, most of them babies or toddlers.

For more facts, go to the link below

Everyone plays games.

Its all about control. The best way to deal with it is to let them think they're in control and they will be happy and won't give you a hard time because they think they're in control.

"I am a Filipino" by Carlos P. Romulo(http://members.tripod.com/pisaymc92/tdeclam.htm)

It dooms them to a life of abusive and unsatisfying relationships. It's far better to try to get close to the child while he or she is still young enough to attach to the guardian. Then, when they least expect it, the guardian should smack the kid around and yell nasty things, especially in public places like Wal-Mart. The gratification will be huge, and people will get a good first impression of the guardian's parenting style. Surely, the guardian will be asked to write a book and appear on Oprah to give insider tips on messing up a kid's life.

losing someone you love or care about, not being able to do something you really want to do that's really important or that you like,having to do something that you don't want to do that's disturbing, bad, or embarrassing and then doing them.

The Principle or law states that the buoyant force on an object in a fluid is an upward force equal to the weight of the volume of fluid that the object displaces. In other words, imagine that you sat down in a tub full of water and the water splashes out the edges. You notice that so you take that displaced water and measure the amount. However much you displaced of that fluid is the amount lighter you become in the rest of the liquid.

pressure space and weight

Tertiary means "third". Tertiary victimization means that another person, besides the immediate victim, was vicitmized as the result of the perpetrator's actions.

For example: A drunk driver kills a father of four kids in an auto accident. The father is the immediate victim. His wife is the secondary victim because she's now left with the entire responsibility of supporting the children. The four kids are tertiary victims because they suffer the impact of the loss of their father's support AND now must take on some of the responsibilities to help their mother, financially or otherwise, provide for the family.

It's not the alcoholic that enjoys hurting their loved ones, it's the alcohol itself. This is because alcohol doesn't let you think clearly. It blurs their senses, not allowing them to realize what they have done until they become sober. If there is an alcoholic in your life that is hurting you or someone you know in anyway, encourage that person to go to an alcoholics support group, if they are not already. If possible, start to remove bottles or containers of alcoholic beverages from the alcoholic's home. Don't remove too many at once; this my result in someone getting hurt. Try sitting down with them once they are no longer under the influence, and explain why what they did was hurtful to others, and how it made that person or those people feel. Give them something to think about, something to mull over. This may seem very hard to do, but you can do more than you think. Get others involved, too. Together, you can make a humongous difference. Good luck!

First I want to congratulate you for asking this question. Few people with this problem actually recognise it. We spend so much time hearing from people who have been abused, but hear little from the people who have difficulty restraining their emotions. For that reason I have had difficulty finding resources for you. There must be something out there!

The usual route through the medical profession would be a referral to a psychiatrist, who may provide medications to reduce mood swings. They may provide councelling directly, but would be more likely to refer you to a councellor. A councellor would probably spent time with you on a one-to-one basis, until you feel confortable dealing with the situation. Finally, they may be able to refer you to a group session with other people with similar problems. This may be the most effective approach because you will be able relate well to other people who have experienced the same emotions.

Look on the back of your insurance card. Many have a special 1-800 number (like an anonymous hotline) to request help with "behavioral services" or "psychiatric help". Usually, if you call these numbers they put you in touch with a councellor who can talk about your options.

I am DJ Craig's Dad and I am a primary care doctor.

hitting and pushing

while the above are abusive acts they are just the tip of the iceburg.

an abusive act can be anything from calling names, to shoving, hitting, controlling behavior, and manipulation, if someone is forcing to do something you dont want to do, even if it is something as simple as not wearing certain clothing, or seeing certain people, or if they put there hands on you in any way they are all types of abuse. Physical abuse is hitting and shoving, mental abuse is far more complex and unfortunetly in my opinion much more prevalent, if you feel you are being abused odds are you are and you should remove yourself from the situation at once.

I highly suggest calling a local assessment facility (usually outpatient and impatient ) and be brutally honest on the assessment. If someone has been drinking for years on end a 5th a day, cold turkey is not an option without medication and medical detox. One can die from the sudden alcohol withdrawals.

I am a recovering alcoholic and you may have a long road ahead of you, but its all worth it. And enjoy the process, many wonderful people exist in the program. I was scared when I first went. I expected everyone to be toothless and wanting a ride back to the bridge downtown.Nope, its an equal opportunity disease. I was not a functional drunk and thank God. I don't think my body could have taken anymore.

What 12 step program fits your personal needs is up to you. They have AA and in many places Celebrate Recovery (Christian based). I CANNOT emphasize the importance of brutal honesty, sponsors or accountability partners and working steps. I went in and out of the program to no avail for years. I went to meetings but couldn't last. I thought getting sober sucked but staying it was even worse. But now, its good! You hang in long enough to watch others drink and sound so stupid and your embarrassed for them, you will appreciate no hangovers or having to take eye openers to just function.

Since Alcoholism is a family disease, if you have teens, or your spouse is deeply hurt (which is likely). be sure sure to have them check ala teen and or your spouse alanon. As the dynamics of the family changes with sobriety others don't know where they fit and how to support not enable the alcoholic.A great opportunity to become closer as a family.I wish you the best, you deserve it. If you are anything like this drunk. I hated drinking because I didn't stop. There was a prize at the end of the tunnel and I was darn well going to be the one to find it! Absolutely horrible as horrible for me, black outs and eye openers my days blurred together.

Go 10 minutes early to groups and just mingle, I have met some life long friends in the program. Not like the psuedo friends that are around to get your stash or drinks. At any rate enjoy your weekend and don't hesitate to write me . Chryss

Is the individual being abused a child, incompetent or elderly? Yes, It is a crime

Is the individual being abused a competent adult? No abuse (thou I would recommend a mental evaluation if such abuse is being allowed)

in most states this would no longer be child abuse but assault and yes they can absolutely get into BIG trouble with the law (depending on the severity of the abuse). They can even be investigated for potential abuse against any younger siblings if they are reported to the authorities for hitting you.

try to get help for that person but do it in steps if you think the person may be harmed if they leave the abusive person. call help lines for abused people. get help before it is to late. something may happen that can't be reversed. i have a friend that was in a abusive relationship and her boyfriend almost killed her so please help that person before it is to late. i beg you