Marriage

Answer 1 (Shia Muslim view)

According to Shia Islam the 6 years age for marriage of Aisha is not authentic and her real age at marriage has been 17-21 years.

Answer 2 (Sunni Muslim view)

A few comments about Muhammad's marriages are in order.

Muhammad married his first wife, Khadijah, several years before his announcement as a prophet of Islam. Khadijah was a reasonably well-to-do woman of Makkah and was 15 years his senior. Muhammad was 25 and Khadijah was 40 at the time of their marriage. This loving and caring monogamous relationship continued for 25 years until her death.

Muhammad, now over 50 years of age, married a relatively aged woman by the name of Saudah. It is thus important to note here that Muhammad's twenty five prime youth years were spent in purely monogamous relationship with a lady 15 years his senior. This speaks volumes about this man's piety and loyalty in spousal matters as well as about the fact that his later marriages could not have been motivated by any human wild sexual desires.

In 620-621 A.D, he and his devout companions migrated from Makkah to Medina. Then a couple of years later, he married Ayesha, a daughter of his closest companion, Abu Bakr, in the 3rd Hijrah (Islamic calendar-623-24 A.D). This information coming from diverse historical and Hadith sources is widely agreed upon and therefore can be, a priori, considered authentic. Based on this information, and a host of other related bits and pieces detailed below, it can be shown that Ayesha could have been at least 16-19 of age at the time of her marriage with Muhammad (PbuH). The following is the detail of the analysis of these historical and Hadith accounts.

1. Several books of Hadith (Al-Bukhari and Al-Muslim, Abu Dawood, among others) and Islamic history (Tabari, among others) report that Ayesha was married to the Prophet at 6 but her marriage was not consummated until she was 9. Although, this information is widely quoted and found in many Hadith and history books, it must be noted that most of this information has come from a single person, Hisham bin Urwah, who is the last narrator of this Hadith Isnaad (chain of narration) on the authority of his father. Thus, this Hadith is primarily a single Hadith. Some other narratives mention the same Hadith but their narration has been found weak and unacceptable. In general, a Hadith has more credibility if it is narrated by more people independently from diverse chains of narrators. In this case, there is basically only one source.

2. Despite the abundance of information available during the 71 years that Hisham bin Urwah lived and taught in Medina, it is rather odd that no one else-not even his famous pupil Malik ibn Anas-reported Ayesha's age from Hisham in Medina. Furthermore, all the narrators of this Hadith were Iraqis. Hisham is reported to have moved to Iraq in his later years. An extensive list of biographical sketches of all narrators including these Iraqis is available in some books.

3. Yaqub ibn Shaibah is reported to have said, "narratives reported by Hisham are reliable except those that are reported through the people of Iraq". Malik ibn Anas (d. 795), a student of Hisham in fact discredited all narratives of Hisham that were reported through people of Iraq.

(Tehzibu'l-tehzib, by Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani, Arabic, Dar Ihya al-turath al-Islami, one of the most well known books on the life and reliability of the narrators of the traditions of the Prophet (PbuH), vol 11, pg 48 - 51).

4. It is reported that Hisham bin Urwah's memory suffered in his later years to the extent that some of the traditions reported from Hisham bin Urwah could not be trusted for authenticity.

(Mizanu'l-ai`tidal, by Al-Zahbi , Arabic, a book on the life sketches of the narrators of the Hadith, Al-Maktabatu'l-athriyyah, Sheikhupura, Pakistan, Vol 4, pg 301).

5. Even though Ayesha is reported to have been born about eight years before Hijrah (around 614 A.D.), one can find another narrative in Bukhari (kitabu'l-tafseer) whereby Ayesha is reported to have said that she was a 'young girl' at the time of revelation of the 54th chapter of the Qur'an which came 9 years before Hijrah (around 612 A.D). Thus, according to this tradition, Ayesha was a young girl (Jariyah-as she calls herself and not an infant in which case she would be sibyah). Additionally, this narrative stands in direct contrast to the one reported on Ayesha's age by Hisham bin Urwah. This puts Ayesha's age significantly higher than 9 as reported by Hisham bin Urwah-possibly 15 or even higher. Obviously, if this narrative is held to be true, it is in clear contradiction with the narratives reported by Hisham ibn Urwah. There is no compelling reason as to why this tradition should be considered less accurate vis-à-vis Hisham's narrative).(Sahih Bukhari, kitabu'l-tafsir, Arabic, Bab Qaulihi Bal al-sa`atu Maw`iduhum WA'l-sa`atu adha' WA amarr).

6. According to many narratives, Ayesha participated in the battles of Badr and Uhud. No one younger than 15 was allowed to accompany the Prophet's army in the battle of Uhud. This applied across the board to all participants, men and women alike. The battle of Uhud took place around the 2nd Hijrah, a time line close to her marriage with the Prophet. Obviously, she was at least older than 15 at that time.

7. A narrative regarding Ayesha's participation in the battle of Uhud is given in Bukhari, (Kitabu'l-jihad WA'l-siyar, Arabic, Bab Ghazwi'l-nisa' WA qitalihinna ma`a'lrijal; that all boys under 15 were sent back is given in Bukhari, Kitabu'l-maghazi, Bab ghazwati'l-khandaq WA hiya'l-ahza'b, Arabic).

8. Most historians have consensus on the age of one of the oldest female companions of the Prophet, namely, Asma, the elder sister of Ayesha that was ten years older than Ayesha. It is also reported in Taqri'bu'l-tehzi'b as well as Al-bidayah WA'l-nihayah that Asma died in 73 Hijrah when she was 100 years old. Clearly, if Asma was 27 or 28 years old at the time of Hijrah, Ayesha was 17 at the time of Hijrah and 19 at the time of consummation of her marriage with Muhammad. (For Asma being 10 years older than Ayesha, see A`la'ma'l-nubala', Al-Zahabi, Vol 2, Pg 289, Arabic, Mu'assasatu'l-risalah, Beirut, 1992. Ibn Kathir confirms this fact, [Asma] was elder to her sister [Ayesha] by ten years" (Al-Bidayah WA'l-nihayah, Ibn Kathir, Vol 8, Pg 371, Arabic, Dar al-fikr al-`arabi, Al-jizah, 1933). For Asma being 100 years old, see Al-Bidayah WA'l-nihayah, Ibn Kathir, Vol 8, Pg 372, Arabic, Dar al-fikr al-`arabi, Al-jizah, 1933). Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani also has the same information: "She [Asma (ra)] lived a hundred years and died in 73 or 74 AH." Taqribu'l-tehzib, Ibn Hajar Al-Asqalani, Pg 654, Arabic, Bab fi'l-nisa', al-harfu'l-alif, Lucknow).

9. Tabari informs in his treatise on Islamic history that Abu Bakr had four children and all four were born during the pre Islamic period. The pre-Islamic period ended in 610 A.D, a fact that makes Ayesha to be at least 14 years of age at the time of her marriage around 623-624 A.D.

(Tarikhu'l-umam WA'l-mamlu'k, Al-Tabari, Vol 4, Pg 50, Arabic, Dara'l-fikr, Beirut, 1979).

10. Ibn Hisham, the historian, reports that Ayesha (ra) accepted Islam quite some time before `Umar ibn al-Khattab which only means that Ayesha (ra) accepted Islam close to the time of first revelation (around 610 A.D). This means she must have been at least a young girl at that time. Assuming she was barely 6 or 7 at that time this information puts the age of Ayesha at 20 or more at the time of her marriage with Muhammad (623-624 A.D.), (Al-Sirah al-Nabawiyyah, Ibn Hisham, vol 1, Pg 227 - 234 and 295, Arabic, Maktabah al-Riyadh al-hadithah, Al-Riyadh).

11. Tabari reports that before migrating to Habashah, Abu Bakr planned to hand over his daughter, Ayesha to Mut'am's son to whom she was engaged. But fearing persecution by the Quraish, Mut'am refused and his son divorced Ayesha. The migration to Habashah happened 8 years before Hijra. Obviously, at the time she was ready to take on responsibilities as a wife (possibly 9 or 10 years of age). If she married Muhammad in the 2nd Hijrah (623-624 A.D), she could not be less than 19 years of age (a secondary reference for this argument is: Tehqiq e umar e Siddiqah e Ka'inat, Habib ur Rahman Kandhalwi, Urdu, Pg 38, Anjuman Uswa e hasanah, Karachi, Pakistan).

12. A famous Sunni imam, Ahmad ibn Hanbal, reports in His Musnad, that after the death of Khadijah, Khaulah came to the Prophet (PbuH) and advised him to marry again. She had two propositions for the Prophet: Either Muhammad could marry a virgin (bikr), or he could go for woman who had already been married (thayyib)". Khaulah named Ayesha for a virgin (bikr). It is common knowledge that the term bikr in the Arabic language refers to a well formed lady and not to a 9 year old, playful, immature lass. If she were nine, the word used by Khaulah would have been jariyah and not bikr.

(Musnad, Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Vol 6, Pg 210, Arabic, Dar Ihya al-turath al-`arabi, Beirut).13. Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani has reported that Fatimah, Muhammad's daughter, was five years older than Ayesha and that Fatimah was born when the Prophet was 35 years old. Thus, Ayesha, according to Ibn Hajar, was born when Muhammad was 40 and consummated her marriage when he was 54 or 55. That makes Ayesha at least 15-16 years of age.

(Al-isabah fi tamyizi'l-sahabah, Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani, Vol 4, Pg 377, Arabic, Maktabatu'l-Riyadh al-haditha, al-Riyadh,1978)

Answer 3 (non-Muslim view)

It was nothing very unusual for children to be married. In most cultures throughout history, marriage contracts have been finalized between two children or between a child and an adult. So the fact that Muhammad married A'isha when she was six was fairly normal in seventh-century Arabia. People did it all the time.

What was unusual was the fact that Muhammad consummated the marriage when A'isha was only nine. In most cultures, a marriage is not consummated until both spouses have passed puberty. Aisha did not reach menarche until she was 14 or even 15, and she was definitely not physically mature at nine. She couldn't cook, either, so she was not ready for marriage, even by the standards of her own culture.

Muhammad's original plan had probably been to wait until Aisha menstruated, simply because that was the way things were usually done. It was Aisha's father, Abu Bakr, who suggested that she move in with Muhammad early. We don't really know why Abu Bakr made this decision. Perhaps it was because they had just moved to Medina, and he was worried that his friendship with Muhammad might fade away now that Muhammad had many new supporters. Perhaps it was because Aisha (like many of their family) had just recovered from a fever, and Abu Bakr was worried she would become sick again and die before she married Muhammad. Perhaps it was because Abu Bakr had just married a young wife (probably not as young as Aisha but much younger than himself) and had therefore revised his ideas about the appropriate age for marriage.

It seems odd that Muhammad accepted Abu Bakr's suggestion. We would expect a prophet to correct his friend's morality and tell him that his offer amounted to child abuse. Probably Muhammad agreed to consummate the marriage simply because he could.He was no longer being persecuted for his faith but was the leader of a thriving religious community. He could say, "Allah allows this," and everyone would believe him.

We know that Muhammad found Aisha very attractive. She was a pretty girl, had a lively personality and was very intelligent. He doesn't seem to have been at all sorry that Abu Bakr let him live with A'isha when she was only nine.

Answer 4

Hint on the non Muslim Answer View

I wonder the written information in this answer is based on what references. How did they know the age of A'isha although there was no recordings of age at that time. what they can say if they know that A'isha was engaged to another man before being engaged to prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). She was not married to the other man as he was not Muslim.

Answer 5

Aisha was 19 years old when she got married. This was in the year 2 A.H. or around year 624 AD. Prophet Mohamed was around 54 years old when married with Aisha (he was born in year 570 AD). See related links and related question below for more information.

A few comments about Muhammad's marriages are in order.

Muhammad married his first wife, Khadijah, several years before his announcement as a prophet of Islam. Khadijah was a reasonably well-to-do woman of Makkah and was 15 years his senior. Muhammad was 25 and Khadijah was 40 at the time of their marriage. This loving and caring monogamous relationship continued for 25 years until her death.

Muhammad, now over 50 years of age, married a relatively aged woman by the name of Saudah. It is thus important to note here that Muhammad's twenty five prime youth years were spent in purely monogamous relationship with a lady 15 years his senior. This speaks volumes about this man's piety and loyalty in spousal matters as well as about the fact that his later marriages could not have been motivated by any human wild sexual desires.

In 620-621 A.D, he and his devout companions migrated from Makkah to Medina. Then a couple of years later, he married Ayesha, a daughter of his closest companion, Abu Bakr, in the 3rd Hijrah (Islamic calendar-623-24 A.D). This information coming from diverse historical and Hadith sources is widely agreed upon and therefore can be, a priori, considered authentic. Based on this information, and a host of other related bits and pieces detailed below, it can be shown that Ayesha could have been at least 16-19 of age at the time of her marriage with Muhammad (PbuH).

Finally, it must be pointed out that Ayesha's age at the time of her marriage has never been an issue. If it were, his enemies must have picked up on this issue as they did to him on some other issues. Also, the reader must note that none of these Hadith reports concerning Ayesha's controversial age of marriage with the Prophet goes back to the Prophet himself. In other words, it is not the Prophet himself who said Ayesha was 6 or 9. These reports came from a single individual and the Iraqis reported from him when he grew old and his memory started failing.

In conclusion, this article is an attempt to prove that the books written 200-300 years after the death of Muhammad, while providing a good deal of historical information about him are not free from faulty, less than perfect and self-contradictory materials. These should not be taken as the final word for a Muslim. There is a Final Word for a Muslim and that is the Book of God, the Holy Qur'an-the book that defines the marriageable age for a man or woman when he or she attains soundness of judgment (Al-Qur'an 4:6). If Muhammad is a model for mankind, if he followed the Qur'an all his life, if Allah stands witness to his rock-solid character, there is no way that he could have taken a 6-9 year old, immature young, playful girl as a responsible wife.

To get over her affair, you must try and understand 4 things:

1. She may have been missing something that you should have been providing her.

2. She may have spent every single day of the last decade proving her love and loyalty to you.

3. The pain and guilt she feels from hurting you is probably no less burdensome than your own pain, and could even be actually worse because she knows she created it. 4. Once you decide that what you have with her is something worth keeping, you must realize that you may lose it all if you don't let it go and forgive her COMPLETELY.

This is of course much easier said than done. People with long memories may struggle with this many years later and even have black moods over it. You have to decide if you can live with the pain and continue. 10 years of marriage is a lot to throw away if the marriage is otherwise good and if there are children involved. If you decide to forgive, then you must try your best to avoid bringing it up in arguments etc. No matter what people tell you - it is not easy. Keep your friends and family close to you as this will help. Some people may say "Forgive -it was 10 years ago". It is never that easy. Betrayal is very hurtful.

Time is the greatest healer.

yes

That depends on how weak a man he is. If he is too young to grasp the concept of his vowels, the financial losses, possible death from diseases. Most of all if you both communicate and are mature than it's possible to not cheat and or want for anyone else but your husband and or wife. Most of all you have to want to be true and faithful.

ANSWER The best way to find out if your husband is cheating is just to ask. If you know your husband then you will be able to tell if he is lying. Most men cheat with someone they work with, so make friends with their co-workers and they will let you know. You will hear rumors but they may not always be true. So trust your instinct! If your husband is truly cheating the the truth is you already know. Most importantly, men almost never actually love women for long periods of time. Truly, I would cheat on my husband, but I love him.

Answer

First, you have a gut feeling, one of suspicion and mistrust. Then, you might notice changes in his behavior; in the quality of his clothing or cologne, along with protectiveness of his communication devices (computer, cell phone, etc.). You also might notice a change in his routine, and making excuses for coming home late, or needing to travel. Increased defensiveness to your inquiring questions (rather than reassuring statements and empathic, affectionate responses) becomes more likely, as well.

If you have been begging for him to help out around the house for EVER, and he suddenly wants to do all of the laundry, it could be because he doesn't want you sifting through his clothes and finding evidence.

If he's never worked an hour of overtime in his life and all of a sudden is putting in long hours - unless he just got a promotion or started a new job this could be a sign he's making time for something or someone besides you.

If he's never been concerned about his personal grooming habits or weight, and all of a sudden he wears cologne, manscapes, and joins a gym - he could be trying to be sexy for you but it's entirely possible he's trying to be sexy for someone else.

If his car used to resemble a dumpster, and suddenly it's spotlessly clean all the time - especially if he removes the child seat(s) when the kids aren't going to be around - it's might be he doesn't want you to know who has been in the car or that person to know you and your family exist.

If he never was very affectionate or surprised you with gifts for no reason - and now he's greets you with kisses and roses - he could just be making up for lost time but it's also possible he feels guilty about something.

The key to all of this is behavioral patterns. If your guy has been talking about wanting to make some changes for the better, and finally acts on it, be supportive until you have solid fact to the contrary. Don't go hiring a PI if he does one or maybe even two of these things but, just make mental notes and watch out for the biggest sign of ALL:

Sudden need for personal privacy is a HUGE clue. If he never used to behave in the following way and now: takes phone calls privately, changes and doesn't save his computer passwords, freaks out if you touch his phone or computer, and gets defensive when you ask normal things like "how was your day?" or "how come you were late?" - WATCH OUT - especially if there are other signs. It's possible he's just planning a surprise party for you, but it's also possible he's been having a party with someone else.