Breakups

breaking up is always hard, but there are some things to say that will mitigate the hard feelings. What i usually say when i break up with someone is," I hope we can still be friends because this doesnt mean i dont like you. It just means i want to see other people." So you don't have to remember the lie. == Answer Just be honest and skip "let be friends" because the person you are hurting (can't be helped) has enough friends and doesn't see you in that light. Be honest, tell them you really like them but it's time for both of you to move on.

To be honest, there's no easy way to have "that" talk with your significant other, trust me, everyone always assumes the worst. I guess the best way is to either ask for a few days to your self, like no contact for 3 days or a week, or whatever. If you need more time than that, there's no easy way to do it. Try to start by reminding him that you love him and that you feel that it's best to take a break and try again when you feel ready for it. Remind him throughout the whole conversation that you have feelings for him and that you care for him. If he's a good man, he'll understand and will respect your decision and let you be. Keep in mind he might be a little needy at first, but just gently remind him that you need time to be alone for right now and that when you are comfortable with it, will begin having light conversations with him. Best of luck.

i think the best way is just to keep yourself occupied, and keep yourself around friends. i know that there will be times where you will be sitting looking at your phone, but it will take time and just have the self discipline to say no. also delete their number, and any ways that you can contact them. (email address etc) ==I need closure though!== It is very hard because of the circumstance and i feel I need answers. Were together 9yrs were each others first and everything, he did sometime in prison a while back and I waited for him because I believed we were meant to be. He never wanted for nothing and I loved unconditionally. Moved in previously and after a couple of months things started to change. He didn't do much around the house and made me feel I was nagging when I asked for help he started to find me annoying. His wages didn't add up to much and quiet often I found myself paying for the rent and sorting things out for the house. I was very strict with him and always made him pay back as I believed everything should be 50/50 he didn't like this at the best of times. All he cared about was buying himself a new car because he had passed his exams and although our lease was nearly out he didn't care about a new home he wanted a car. The arguments started and I was always in the wrong I felt like for most of the time I was tip toeing around him, because he lost his rag over anything and everything and it was always my fault. He started being horrible - he wasn't sure he wanted to be with me, his feelings were changing and when he had calmed down and I had confronted him, he only said it out of anger and didn't mean it! But he kept saying such things - one day he was so horrid I asked him why he didn't just go - his response was that he had no where to go, again later he didn't mean it, he loved me didn't know how to be without me. Then one day he said he was sick of being unhappy and that he wanted to get as far away from me as possible - this time I told him to go and he was shocked said but he loved me - he was so confused he was starting to confuse me - bearing in mind we were meant to move into our new home that day. He left for a walk and before I knew it his uncle was at the door to collect his stuff unbelievable he had spoken to them in the morning and it was arranged! So I was in the toilet before he left he came in and asked me to tell him what to do and he will do it, that he didn't mean to hurt me. Without knowing where I was going to live he left me with my bags and was gone. I was homeless my old lease had run out and the new landlord will not accept me on my own because we thought it was couple. I had lost the deposit and haven't heard from him since. This is why I feel I need to closure - Even till that morning I was his world - even though he had said so many horrid things, then a couple of hours later he was out of the door............. It will be better in the long run for your self esteem. In my experience it will make you feel worse if you call as it will probably create further distance. If they want to call you they have your number. The truth of the matter hon is this young man was trouble long before you met him and ended up in prison. Prison can be a brutal place and anything could have happened to him in there. I don't think I have to paint you a picture of prison life. It appears he has been wandering aimlessly without resolution to his problems, but part of the cure is in himself. He has to admit to having problems (mostly anger problems from the sounds of it) and he hasn't taken the responsibility for seeking out therapy. It's wonderful to be kind to your mate, but another thing to spoil them rotten which you did! You took over all the responsibilities when you should have included him in paying bills, letting him know how much things cost and that you can't have everything. The other problem is once you have a prison record it is sometimes difficult to get a good paying job. The Parole Officer (if he has one) will often help with a job, but they usually are low paying jobs. This does little for your boyfriend's self esteem. It is also very apparent that he has had his own way for too long and doesn't like to be controlled, but was controlled in prison. Once out he was bound and determined to live like a gypsy and stomp on anyone that got in his way. Instead of using his energy to make a better person of himself he has decided to go back down that black alley yet once again. Don't follow him! In his eyes you were controlling him by doing all the right things and he didn't like it. He's spoiled and out of control. It is true HE HAD NOWHERE TO GO! His family has probably had enough of him and so should you feel the same way. He was using you as a place to flop! His middle name is "denial" and he hasn't learned one thing from being in prison. He blames you for all his problems and you should have asked him "Well, you weren't so great before and I wasn't in the picture at the time so what was your excuse then?" He's had a life of doing what he feels like and I have no doubt this guy wants bigger things in his life even if it means doing a criminal act to get it. He wants to have money, cars, freedom and be someone. He has a distorted view of reality. I hope one of our Supers Mackey comes along and adds onto this in a legal sense (I'm Canadian) but it sounds as if your landlord took both of you at your word and has already rented out your place and that's why you can't stay where you are. Otherwise it's pure discrimination. You said you had talked to him this morning. I think YOU are confused and fear being left out on the streets and this is forcing you to put up with his crap to put it quite frankly. This is NOT love! You are wishful thinking. Thank your lucky stars this guy will hopefully be out of your life because he doesn't offer you much of a future. This has nothing to do with his prison term, but he learns his lessons the hard way, wants to make it big and have his toys and then he thinks he'll be happy, but he won't unless he gets that therapy he has needed for many years. You didn't mention if you had family in the area. If you do phone them and see if you can live with them until you get your feet under you. If you have no family then ask a friend if they can put you up. This will give you a chance to get your feet under you, perhaps get a better paying job. By the way, DON'T leave a forwarding address for this jerk to follow you. You don't need an explanation hon, we've given you reason enough to kick this guy to the bricks. You did nothing wrong with the exception of not kicking his hide out the door earlier. If you don't accept the true nature of this man then you are stunting your own personal growth and the chance of meeting a wonderful young man that will put you first which you deserve. It's your choice! Good luck The best thing I found was to go and hang out with the opposite sex, preferrably your closer friends. They know you and you will value their opinion more than a friend from the same sex. It sounds weird but It helped me. The main thing to do is not call them! Whatever you are thinking doesn't matter, just DO NOT CALL. It looks desperate and needy. Show some respect for yourself you obviosly deserve better than them. Someone that appreciates you. Stay positive and learn from the breakup. A better love will come or he/she will realizes what they lost and want things to workout and become better, but let them have space to think. And yes you are capable of having a better relationship than the last one.

because men don't think it's always better to pick up yesterday's trash than to use good commonsense and think about the woman that's been their for him all the time when he realizes that old trash doesn't smell good he'll turn around and be looking for you and you won't be their so move on with your life and find a man that cares about you and respects you because he doesn't he's only out for himself. Whoa! Back da train up! You didn't explain what you classify as a bottom of the barrel woman. Could it be you have picked up a little of the narcissists traits along the way because you sure sound like it. Of course you are angry that not only he has lied to you, but is carrying on with another woman and one that lives next door. Don't be mad at the girl, be mad at him! He started it and even though she should have told him to take off, he is still at fault. Consider yourself lucky. I find it odd that you consider yourself a bright woman, yet admmitted he's narcissistic and have stayed with him. Forrest Gump said, "Stupid is as stupid does." We all make mistakes in the love department. One can't know another 100% because they don't know themselves 100%. I have no doubt you are a loving woman and really care about your relationships but even smart people make mistakes, so next time, pay attention to the guy you are with and see what his characteristics are before you go on a steady basis. Good luck Because he needs someone easier to control. They get exhausted constantly trying to wear a person down that has good qualities. It becomes work to them and too much a threat as they know you could get anohter man in a heartbeat so they look for someone easier to control

Getting a divorce is often a battle of the wills and there is hurt, anger and frustration attached to it. Some people feel they have wasted their lives on this person and are angry at themselves for being stupid or they feel dejected by their former spouse and led to believe "they weren't good enough". Wouldn't it be wonderful if we had ESP, but we don't so we make mistakes. I have been divorced and my husband cheated on me many times and I caught him. I was angry more at myself for being so stupid because there were enough warning signs even before I married this guy. I flung things in boxes and moved into my own apartment. It took me a couple of months to see what I had tossed in those boxes and I was in for a not so pleasant surprise. All our memories (there were some good ones) were there and as I went through box after box I found myself in tears and the anger swept over me all over again. Then came the wedding pictures and I became furious. I tore every single one of them up with the exception of an 8 x 10 which I used for a dart board for two weeks. Silly? I suppose so, but it helped get that anger out of my system.

I AM NOT AN EXPERT, BUT I WOLD SAY IF YOUR SPOUSE IS ACTING DIFFERENT THEN YOU NEED TO BE CAUTIOUS TO PLAY IT SAFE. I KNOW FOR MYSELF I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO END WHEN HE WAS NOT SPENDING TIME WITH ME AND ALWAYS FOUND REASONS NOT TO BE WITH ME. YOU SHOULD PRAY ABOUT IT , BECAUSE GOD HAS THIS THING FOR FIRST MARRIAGES. THE FIRST TIME YOU HAVE SAID YOUR VOWS TO SOMEONE (UNLESS THERE IS A DEATH OF THE FIRST ONE). IT IS ACTUALLY HIS WILL FOR YOU TO STAY TOGETHER. HE WANTS TO BLESS A FIRST MARRIAGE IF YOU BOTH WILL FOLLOW HIM AND ALLOW HIM, HOWERVER IF IT IS A SECOND MARRIAGE ( FOR EITHER OF YOU) THE BIBLE WARNS THAT THERE CAN BE PROBLEMS. YOU SHOULD PRAY FOR GOD'S DIRECTION AND HELP. ALLOW HIM TO SHOW YOU WHAT YOU NEED TO BE DOING.

The courts will not force a married woman to submit to a paternity test when a child is born of a relationship outside of the marriage. The female must voluntarily submit to the testing or her husband can request a test if the couple decide to separate or divorce and the matter of parentage is in question.

You get your thoughts collected and be honest with this person of why you do not want to stay together but have the guidelines of how you two will raise the baby together. This can be done. The only difference will be that you will live in two different places. You split the responsibilities evenly. Time spent with baby, financial and love of course is priceless. You be civil with one another at all times and always put the baby first, not in the middle. The baby didnt ask to be born but now it is the responsibility of both of you to give the baby the very best world possible. You can still be friends and do things together and hopefully if your both mature enough incorporate the new partners into the babys life. Good luck

Don't answer the phone! He's phoning to see if you are out on a date and hopefully thinking you are sitting or laying there pining away for him. Stop it! Don't answer the phone, get out with friends and socialize and move on.

she meant the world and know she has just left out of the blue. now we talk and real friendly i dont think i could ever hate her. Iv told her many times how i feel and sometime it seems like im talkin to a wall. I don't know how to take it sometime she seems like she wants me to hang around for ever. i don't want to loss her i just don't think i can hang on to much longer but we plan to do stuff and i can't wait to see her she makes everthing better. i may not be making much since all this has been going on for 3 weeks now..

All I can suggest is you have to distance yourself from each other for both of your sakes. If she "left out of the blue" in your eyes she obviously had been feeling things were not right prior to this and it could have been for some time - maybe you just didn't want to see. If you know it just cannot work -although it will take time- things do get better. If you keep yourself occupied with things that do not include her and keep your head up with an open mind things will and do work themselves out. You have to be strong and you go your way and let her go.

You can break up a couple by getting one of the people involved in the relationship to get another boyfriend/girlfriend. Then you get the two people that the cheating character is with to talk to one another. After they talk they will discover that the cheating person is cheating and will most likely talk to that person and break up. Hope that makes sense!

Yea if you get another one to cheat then have the people their cheating on talk they will figure out that the persons cheating and get them to talk and they will dump them. But he two people they cheated on will become enemies.

needs to be re jetted

He is probably afraid of commitment and thinks that because you were about to hit your one year anniversary that maybe he would have to commit a little more to you.

when u fall in love that time u forgot eveything. and u lie to save ur love. and to hide that lie u satrt chain. and if u really in love then u do this for ur love.

she broke up because he had a one night stand

I have no idea why you would want him back. Narcissists are difficult people at best to be around (even in the workplace) so I can't imagine living with one! You simply can't help a narcissist because in their minds they are more intelligent than those around them and they ARE ALWAY RIGHT! It's important to them to keep reminding themselves of this. Confronting his disorder did little for him and he's just plain mad that you would dare to say such a thing. He doesn't look at it as help, but pure criticism and you hardly ruffled his feathers. He won't date you again because you dared to tell him the truth even if he won't take that truth and do something about it. You did the best you could and now you have to cut your loses (those 6 years) and move on. Narcissists seldom go for treatment because they feel truly in themselves they are smarter than everyone else, always right and see things far more clearly than their peers. The counselor would also come under this heading and a narcissist would scoff at any statement a counselor made to him/her.

Terrell Brown is the Author of Mary J Blige.

"entagled?" It sounds like your love interest is not fully ready to move on to a relationship with you and you need to back off or risk a broken heart. Be friends for now, but don't involve yourself until you know it is truly over between them. No one wants to be a 3rd leg. People that haven't come to a decision over their ex have no right to date seriously, but, unfortunately many do. I was married before, filed for divorce, but I NEVER wanted to return to my ex so I attained a separation until my divorce was final and I went out on the dating circuit again. I was always honest with the guy I was interested in and told him I was filing for divorce because it can get messy and I wanted him to know what he could be getting involved in. Your boyfriend/girlfriend can't seem to "cut the strings that bind him/her" and divorcing someone or even leaving someone you just had a relationship with can get complicated and confuse one's feelings. I suggest you communicate your feelings more to this person. As much as it will hurt your heart you need to set down some hard and fast rules. Tell them that you are splitting up with them because they haven't been honest with themselves or you about how they feel about their ex, and that you aren't sitting around waiting. This will either smarten this person up and they'll make a choice, or they will run back to their ex. If they choose to leave you whether they go back to their ex or not it's not a good idea to be friends and a better idea just to move on with your life. Love is about really caring about someone; being loyal, never wanting to hurt their feelings on purpose, being open and honest and giving all you can give emotionally to the one you love. This person you are with is confused and needs to have a kick in the butt to make them decide what it is they want. If you keep hanging around and doing nothing you are an "enabler" and you're sending out mixed messages to them that they can stomp on your heart anytime they so choose. Be strong, tell them you aren't waiting around and that they've hurt your feelings. Good luck Marcy

try to improve your self that where you might have gone wrong or start new relationship

Its a little on the thin side. The recommended weight for a person 5' 8" is between 132 and 164 pounds.

No, actually 122 is the minimum. You and I are fine at 68" 125#. How do you feel? I'm 5'8" and completely naturally 126, so... apparently it's okay.

My advice is to say nothing and do nothing. There would be no reason to say or do anything, unless... you are really asking this question because you want to do something to get back at him, or at least give him the same message that Toby Keith, the country singer, gave to his ex-girlfriend in the video by singing, "How Do You Like Me Now?" If that's so, then I'd say that what you probably should never do, which then becomes what you really want to do, is to kiss a new boyfriend, or new boyfriend stand-in, in front of him. And then, of course, if you REALLY want to take it up a notch and do one even better; kiss your new girlfriend in front of him. That will surely crumble what may be left of his manhood the rest of the way down to the ground.

Mary McCartney is the first biological child of Paul McCartney and his wife Linda. In 2005, Mary separated from husband Alistair Donald, and married Simon Aboud in 2010.